But...Where's Angela Lansbury?!? | Mental Poo

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

But...Where's Angela Lansbury?!?

(an open letter to my dear friend, Netflix)

Dear Netflix,

We've been together for a while now, and I thought you knew me better.


Sure, we've had some good times...

...like the time I got the movie "300" from you on a whim...

...subsequently watching it 76 more times and contemplated becoming homosexual for the third time in less than a month.

Seriously...HOW do they get those abs?!

I can only get abs like that if I wear one of those shirts with them already painted on.


We've also had some bad times.

Like, "Teeth" and "Bend it Like Beckham."

Seriously...what is that shit?!

You should be ashamed of yourself for letting people rent that crap.


Then...I checked my "recommendations" today...

...and saw...

THIS:

(click to enlarge)



WHAT. THE. F*CK.


Based on the fact that I liked watching "Nip/Tuck"...

...you're recommending "Doogie F*cking Howser" AND "Diagnosis Murder?!?!?"

ARE YOU F*CKING HIGH?

I think we seriously have a disconnect here, and may need to cut this relationship short.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt ONCE.

And only because of this recommendation:


I've never seen "Snatch"...

...but I have a feeling I might like it.

But you're seriously on probation for the Doogie and Dick Van Dyke bullshit.

Don't make me come down there and go all "Murder She Wrote" on your ass.

Cuz I'll do it, bitch.

Actually, I probably won't. If I'm too lazy to drive to a video store, I'm probably too lazy to try to kick your ass.

Keep 'em coming. Thanks in advance.

Moog.

25 comments:

AngryMan said...

Doogie Howser is America's best kept secret.

GeologyJoe said...

Snatch is a great movie. Its about a diamond heist, not a vee-jay.

moooooog35 said...

Angry: I thought America's best kept secret was Sarah Palin. Oh..not anymore.

Geo: It's not about an MTV personality?

Hockeyman said...

Snatch is wicked fucking good. The movie too, that's pretty good as well.

LBluca77 said...

I think netflix hates mooog!

Live For Today said...

Love the "too lazy to drive to a video store" line.

Chris Wood said...

Snatch is a great movie, full of pissed off cockney gangsters going all "GGGEEEEZZZAAAHHHH" and "MAPPETTTT!" on each other.

Quality stuff.

Mimzie Beaumont said...

Doogie, huh? I'm a little surprised that you don't already own the box set. :-)

Colonel Colonel said...

ok, you've got Doogie Howser, Angela Landsbury and Snatch in the same post.

I'm not sure there's enough beer in the world to erase the mental image I just got.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

Hmmmmm....Netfilx? I've never ordered from them. Now I don't know. That Doogie Howser crap has me all woozy.

Kellie said...

Snatch is good. Netflix wins on that recommendation.

However, Doogie??? Wow. That shit is lame. And from my recollection absolutely NOTHING like Nip/Tuck. To compare those two is effin ridiculous.

Nip/Tuck = Awesome
Doogie = Awful

The Doggy Did It said...

Snatch is awesome!

The movie I mean. We just watched it again the other night. Classic. I, like netflix, strongly suggest that you see some snatch...the movie I mean.

meleah rebeccah said...

Doogie isnt THAT bad...and Yes SNATCH was / is awesome!

Knight said...

Rent the Doogie video. You might just find yourself contemplating your sexuality for the forth time in one month.

Michael Knight Rambo said...

It's sick. I couldn't stop watching 300 either.
You've got Doogie all wrong though. Watch those Harold and Kumar movies and you'll see what a badass NPH really is.

Prin said...

Snatch is the awesomest. Well, except for the Usual Suspects.

Slick said...

Please! Growing up, I wanted to be like Doogie.

A high school doctor??

All I could do was play a doctor but still...

March to the Sea said...

I get odd ball suggestions as well. I think because of renting stuff for the kids now and then. No suggestions for me to rent Matlock yet at least.

Also, Snatch is a decent film..worth the rental.

rs27 said...

Vinny Delpino bangins Angela Lansbury should be in your recommendations.

Ok that was over the top.

Christina_the_wench said...

Think I own Snatch. Never watched it. Well, except that time we videotaped ourselves, but nevermind.

moooooog35 said...

Hockey: That was smooooooth.

lbluca: This is why I've considered starting my own version which specializes in home-delivered porn: NetF*cks.

Chris: Sorry dude...once I see "Wood" I just start laughing and then my comment goes to shit.

Mimzie: You said 'box set!'

Colonel: You're welcome. Just think...Dick VanDyke is in there, too.

Diva: You know he's gay, right? Nevermind.

Kellie: Somewhere, Dr. Troy is flabbergasted (while banging some hot chick, of course)

Doggie: Once I return "Enchanted" I'll be sure to get it.

Meleah: Point taken.

Knight: Like I need that pressure.

Michael Knight Rambo: Dude. BEST. NAME. EVER.

Prin: Totally with you on "Usual Suspects" - wait...where did that come from?!

Slick: It's different where you come from, though. Here, we frown on playing doctor with our siblings.

March: Matlock = bad karma. Andy Griffith is coming for ya.

rs27: Get outta my head!!

Christina: Send me the review and I'll post it. Ah, screw it...just send me the video and I'll do it myself.

AngieSS said...

Absolutely hysterical! You definitely have a way with words--and imagery.

--I didn't even know they still have video stores.

HeyJoe said...

OK, OK, I'll get me some SNATCH.

Jesus, quit hounding me you assholes!

Malach the Merciless said...

So when does you AARP card come in?

Maxie said...

netflix once recommended I Love New York for me. That's when we broke up.

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