I love getting emails from my friends.
If not for this reason or this one, then for the following.
The other day, I got an email from my friend, Janet.
I used to work with Janet in Technical Support for an Internet Security Company.
On a related note:
Most of you people are fucking stupid.
Back to Janet:
She was the only woman in a group of guys - which included me.
As such, Janet learned a lot of new...um..."terms."
Janet never understood a single one.
Naive, she was.
So, every day, you would hear her get on the phone to her husband, Bill, and say stuff like:
"Honey - what's thing thing they call a 'penis?'"
Bill is not a lucky man.
Fine...she wasn't THAT bad.
But you would hear her call her husband trying to clarify some of the shit us guys were talking about.
"Hey..it's me. What's a 'Dirty Sanchez?'"
"Hey...me again. Do you know what a 'tossed salad' is?"
"Okay. The guys said you'd know what a 'shocker' is."
"Me again. Have you ever 'teabagged' me?"
Men are classy around ditzy broads.
So, Janet sends me and seven fucking hundred other people an email with a PowerPoint slide show.
"A Woman's Needs"
(all men reading this simultaneously fall asleep)
Here it is:
To: (giant list of people Janet wanted to annoy)
Subject: A Woman's Needs
Is this thing on?
Yeah. Fucking hilarious.
Not to be outdone...
To: (Janet and her giant list of email recipients)
Subject: Something Else a Woman Needs
I thought of one more thing a woman needs.
I've taken the liberty of drawing it up for you and attaching it.
P.S., ten bucks says you have to ask Bill what it means.
I wonder if she had to send it to her husband.
Any ditzy broads out there not figure it out yet?
Like I said...
...men are classy.