Vacation Post Redux #4 - The Worst Seat in the Otaku | Mental Poo

Friday, July 17, 2009

Vacation Post Redux #4 - The Worst Seat in the Otaku

Since I'm gone on vacation this week, I thought I'd bring you:

Mental Poo Vacation Stories Week

Thanks go out to the one person who's clapping.

Sit down,'re embarrassing yourself.

Today, in the first installment, I bring you "The Worst Seat in the Otaku"

This post was first presented in July, 2008.

This post is a recollection of a week the wife and I spent in Seattle... the Boston Red Sox were out there for a West Coast road trip.

We have to follow them. It's the law here in New England.

Yankees Suck!!

There. Glad that's out of the way.


And see you back on Monday.


Take a picture, why don't ya?


...that's ALL they did.

Let me explain.

My wife and I attended three Red Sox games during our 6-day stint in Seattle. During our down time, we would stroll the city and see the sights.

Unfortunately, the sights primarily consist of homeless people and large groups of Japanese.

Personally, I think it would be good to do a "Celebrity Family Feud" ...

...but with one side being Seattle's homeless and the other being Japanese tourists.

"Let's Play - FAMILY FEUD!!..."

Al Roker: "OH MY GOD...I'M SO HUNGRY."


...let's start over:

Al Roker: "..the top three answers are on the board. Name something that everyone does at least once a day."


Al Roker: "Homeless guy you're the first one to buzz in - give me your answer."

Homeless guy: "These flies!! These flies are in my skull!! Why are they laughing at me?!? I LIKE BEETS!!"

Al Roker: "Ooohkay...Japanese tourist. What's your answer?"

Japanese tourist: "PingWAAAAAA...Dong WOOONG Picachu FeelOOOONg...ICHIRO SUZUKI!!!"

(cameras start going off at the Japanese tourist podium)

Ichiro Suzuki.


Ichiro Suzuki is a Japanese player for the Seattle Mariners. Apparently, he's so popular in Japan that people travel from Japan to Seattle JUST to see him.

I was told that sometimes, they come from Japan just to see the BALLPARK he plays in...then...

...they go home.


The only person I'd ever consider doing that for would be Rachael Ray.

It would have to be a public hanging...but I'd still travel for it.

So, at the ballgame, here's what it would look like with Ichiro on the bench:

..and with Ichiro at the plate:

What. The. F*ck.

EVERY at-bat this happened. EVERY ONE. many f*cking pictures of this guy do you need?

Not that it mattered to me.

Why you ask?

Well...because here was MY view of the field (actual photo from my seat):

Being short SUCKS.

Also, a nice "Thank you, Safeco field" here for putting a .001% grade on the f*cking seats.

Yeah - it gets better.

Here was my view from Game 3:

On the bright side, though, this guy's size shielded me from the blinding camera flashes from the Japanese tourists.

Until he moved...

...and then Neal and Bob came and sat down in front of us instead:


No longer blinded by camera flashes, I'm instead rendered horrified as one guy rubs another guy's neck lovingly in front of me...

...then up the back of his shirt...

Mother. F*cker.


Or a Japanese least they're skinny.

Apparently, they've been listening to Al Roker's tips.


rachaelgking said...

My Boston colored hat that says "YH" is my favorite...

Yes, that's right. YANKEE HATER. What what??

fiona said...

Yeh need a booster seat darlin...;0)

Funnyrunner said...

LLOL. oh, geez. thanks. Don't need to do any sit-ups today after that laugh. I even dragged my husband in against his will to see your blog and he thought it was hysterical. You passed a big test there, congratulations.

FawkesFire said...

*pats Moog's head* there'll be okay. eventually your brain will force the memories back into some dark forgotten place in your mind and you'll stop crying.....

AD said...

Holy hell, this was great.

And I agree: being short DOES suck. I'm only 5'1.

At least I still pass as a 12 year old at the movies . . .


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