Labor Pains | Mental Poo

Monday, September 07, 2009

Labor Pains


Off today.

Here in the United States today is 'Labor Day.'

As such, I have no post today...

...as I'll be taking a well-deserved day off from all of the hard work I do and ha hahahahahahahaha!!

Oh.

Oh man.

Almost got through that without laughing.

THAT was hard work.

Good one.

Regardless, to celebrate my fucking laziness...I'm doing something today that I very rarely do.

Masturbate.

HA! Just seeing if you were paying attention.

Seriously...if I masturbate any more, I'll need a prosthetic.

No.

Today, I'm posting a touching, heartfelt story that my buddy Jim sent me via email.

In the spirit of the holiday, I think it's appropriate.

Enjoy.

***************************

This is an Incredible story!

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University ..

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.



Twenty years later...

Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs...

...and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.



Probably wasn't the same elephant.


**********************
Awesome.

Happy Labor Day, everyone.

Later folks.

See ya tomorrow.

14 comments:

Malicious Intent said...

HAHAHAHA. Dumb Ass!

Mega8815 said...

ROFLMAO!! You're a special one you know that?! Thanx for the laugh.

I think.

Enjoy.

HAHA

LiLu said...

Darwin, bitches. DARWIN.

CatLadyLarew said...

That guy knows how to ruin a perfectly good holiday! I'd definitely not going to the zoo to look for long-lost friends today!

Brooke said...

Hahahaha...That was a great story. I'm taking the day off from all of my hard work too. So far, I have slept in (10:30, instead of 10), and um, yeah that's all I have done differently.

Gauche said...

damnit, Moog! you almost had me believing you were gonna post some story that belonged in "Chicken Soup for the Animal Lover's Soul" or some shit....and you go and put that up. LOL! it was worth the laugh. nicely done.

I'm gonna go email the link for this story out now....thanks for the giggles!

GingerMandy said...

natural selection.

definitely worthy of a darwin award.

Mars said...

*sniff* That brought a tear to my eye. What a touching story!

Hope said...

Buahahahaha.

Jill Pilgrim said...

Wow, that was incredibly touching (penis)!

Malach the Merciless said...

I heard that one already, rip off!

Coffeypot said...

The amazing thing to me is that the elephant had a curious look on his face. How does an elephant do that, get a curious look? His trunk in a question mark? How???

meleah rebeccah said...

Happy BELATED Labor Day!

Sarah Elizabeth said...

Oy, idiots.

Meanwhile, this is entirely relevant to this post and your interests (and no I didn't write it so it's absolutely not shameless self-promotion):
http://community.livejournal.com/weepingcock/231276.html

I promise, just read it, and you'll either hate me or laugh until you pee a little.

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