Greek Mythology, Jews, and Yet Another Reason I'm Going to Hell | Mental Poo

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Greek Mythology, Jews, and Yet Another Reason I'm Going to Hell

I couldn't let Christianity have all the fun.

If I'm going to Hell, it's going to be on several different levels.

It's how I roll.

Fresh on the heels of my 'Bible Adventures Wii Game' movie...

I figured I should probably flip the other side of the coin and be blasphemous on an entirely new level.

Last week, I Tweeted this little gem:

"If I was a Greek Jew I would invent a menorah made out of a Minotaur statue and sell it as a "Minotorah" and I would be rich."

* cricket

I don't know where it comes from, either.

It just..DOES.


That led to me making this:

(click to enlarge..that's what she said)

If I could somehow figure out how to build shit (Santa? Little help here?), I'd be RICH.

On a related note:

I don't know what's wrong with me.


I'm broken on so many levels it's not even funny.


Maxie from I Hate So Much gave me some more suggestions for different ethnicities..ethnications..ethics violations...

Different kinds of people.

Here you go. Thanks, Maxie!

For the Italian Jews we have...

The Meatballnorah!

And I have no idea if there's such thing as a Chinese Jew but if there is, I bet THIS would be front and center on their mantelpiece:

The Pork Lo Meinorah!

That's all I got.

I think it's enough.

Happy Holidays, everybody.

Moog out.


Travis said...


Your balls must be like, huge.

rachaelgking said...

Hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell.

I mean, really... what else is there to say?

Swirl Girl said...

From my tribe to yours , Mooooooog - CHchchchcappy Hanuchristmakwan.

Swirl Girl

love the italian meatball and sausage one...thanks for the dinner suggestion, too!

bikramyogachick said...

oh dear. You are going to hell. At least you aren't dragging your kids with you on this trip. :)

p.s~ can't wait to read your urban dictionary entry for serial shitter....

Ed said...

If you figure out a way to make those, let me know.

I still have some various jewish friends I need to do some last minute Christmaskkah shopping for.

LBluca77 said...

Now i'm craving pork. said...

Haaa! What about the Mexican Jews? The Chimichanganorah? Or the Minoradilla? Hmm, this is going that well. Apparently there aren't any Mexican Jews.

Ducky said...

I just snorted...

Bombshell BLISS said...

OMG! What does it say about me that I would buy that crap as gag gifts.


Matt said...

HAHAHAHA... they should get the italian one for the cast of jersey shore.

I mean... not that I watch jersey shore or anything.

seriously. I dont. DONT JUDGE ME.

Yankee Girl said...

The Minotorah is awesome. It would fit in well on my mantel, next to my husbands collections of skulls.

Moooooog35 said...

Travis: Yeah..but they don't work very well.

Lilu: say it like YOU won't be there.


Wendy: You're an Indian?

Bikram: Go to urban dictionary and search for 'serial shitter' - you won't have to wait.

Trust's the only one there.

Ed: Do I smell a corporation brewing?!?

Nope..Nope. Dog farted.

Lbluca: When DON'T you crave pork?


Go make one. Do it now. Post it.

Spread the word.

Daffy: You sound hot.

Bombshell: It says that you found the right place here.

You found the right place.

Matt: So. Busted. Dude.

So. Busted.

Paula Wooters said...

So glad you're devoting equal time to treating each religion with respect! Love the menorahs!

Mike said...

As a Jew, I have to day the minotorah just made me squirt milk out of my nose.

And i'm drinking straight black coffee.

Where can I buy one and how much? You know I got the cash, I'm a jew.

G said...

If being a genius means something is wrong with you, then you're screwed.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

How bout the 12 angry menorah?

Semenorah? <---yikes.

Unknown said...

So glad I won't be alone in hell!

Anonymous said...


Moooooog35 said...

Paula: I'm nothing if not an equal opportunity offender.

Mike: Should we start referring to you as Micccch?

Martinis: If I was smarter, I'd probably try to figure out what that means.

Steam Me: You realize you wrote 'semen' + 'orah' which I'm trying to figure out now how sperm relates to the number 12 and all I'm coming up with is 'orgy.'


Eva: Take your pick..I think you'll see most of us there.

Christiejolu: Thank you. Please don't forget to pick your A up on the way out. People leave them laying around here ALL the time.


MJenks said...

If I manage to get around to writing my story of Theseus, I want the Minotorah on the cover.

Do you think mixing Purim and Perseus would work, too?

JenJen said...

First: Mjenks, moog will have NO fucking IDEA what you're talking about. Purim and Perseus.

moogsy--You're a man among men.

I don't know what that means but I think it sounds pretty literary ish.


The Peach Tart said...

I'll see you in hell Moog. Wishing you and your family a happy holiday.

C: said...

Hello! I am interested in puchasing two meatballnorahs and one minotorah, please.

Is it wrong of me to give away gag menorahs as Christmas presents?

Maybe I can just pick them up when I see you in Hell!


Tizroc said...

hiphophippie I was thinking that a Menudorah would be the obvious choice.

Save a front row seat for me when you get there (hell).

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Semen doesn't relate to the number 12. That was a whole separate thought from 12 angry menorah.

I wrote yikes because I started thinking about "candlewax" drippings and needed to sign off quick before God saw my IP number and tracked me down.

Donnie said...

Don't forget the much sought after Ron Jeremy longdongnorah! It's truly a work of art!

Grizzly Bear said...

LOL... yep you are going hell ... LOL

this last comment longdongnorah ROFL.. OMG lol

Unknown said...

Yeah send us a postcard from hell...least it's warm there.

Dual Mom said...

I want some of what you're smoking dude.

Unknown said...

Your speakin my language today!

UberGrumpy said...


I want one

Moooooog35 said...


No idea.

Mike: You're a German Jew?

Doesn't that cause, like, earthquakes and shit?

JenJen: Thanks for backing up my ineptitude. I have NO idea what Mjenks was thinking.

Peach: And yours as well.

See you there! I'll be over by the punch bowl.

Literally. They punch you.

JD: The problem with Chinese Jews is that right after Hanukkah is over, you're ready for another one an hour later.

C: Can I interest you in a mug instead?

Tizroc: You can only use the Menudorah's, though, until they're 17 then you have to throw them out.

Steam Me: 12 Angry Menorah!


Also..God knows your IP anyway.

He's an IT guy.

Don: ..complete with gut and white afro.

G-Zell: Be careful complementing Don's comments. He bites.

Alex: They have a gift shop?!?

Dual Mom: It's called 'high on life.'

HAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I'm pretty miserable.

Wym: Yiddish with a Korean twang?

I'm confused.

Uber: Front me the money and I'll promise you we'll get manufacturing under way.

Unknown said...

Moog, I'm stunned and disappointed that you didn't think of the most obvious one . . .

A farm-themed, authentically-scented


Moooooog35 said...

Knucklehead: Well..that's just over the line, dude.*


MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I'd like a Minotorah. Where do I send the check?

Tizroc said...

Ewwww Gross... I wasn't talking about the band.. That is just too gross! The soup is distasteful enough without adding the band into it.

MrsBlogAlot said...

Is that bacon I smell burning? Oh's you!

Don't worry, we're all going down with you for thinking this is the funniest shit ever!

Phillipia said...

DotMenorah...for the dot Indian; ChipMenorah for the American Indian...

Just my 2 cents because I want to make sure I get to hell, too:)

Malach the Merciless said...

That is nothing to a Jew, at least you did not exterminate 3 million of them

Brutalism said...

Perhaps one for virgins? The hymenorah?

(I'm broken, too.)*

*(Not a reference to my hymen. Though, since I have a kid, may technically be accurate.)

Andhari said...

At first I was here to say thanks for the comments.

But then the pictures got me ROFL.
I love Pork Lo Meinorah HAHAHAA

Web Design Services said...

I dont know what to say!! mmmm Well Happy holidays!!!

Moooooog35 said...

MikeWJ: I'll give you my PayPal information. Please be advised, though, that shipping may take FOREVER.

Tizroc: Oh. Honestly, I pictured making one with the band members on it. That would have been awesome.

Mrsblogalot: Save me a spot in the deli line!

Phillipia: So says the woman in the nun outfit.

I think you were going there a while ago, sister.

Malach: Always gotta drag Mr. Moustache into the conversation. Thanks for peeing on my party. Jeez.

Brutalism: I'm not sure I even want to know what the hymenorah would even look like.*


Andhari: Have you seen the Bible video? That should really nail it for you.

Web Design: Hey..while you're in here..can you fix this shit?

Griffin said...

Minotorah? I think minorataur would be better especially if he had a Dradel sword or Doom!

Griffin said...

And his nemesis would be the Gargoyum! Yeah...I'm totally going to Hell...

Cora said...

Pffft! I'm with Bombshell Bliss, I'd buy one of those as a gag gift too. Brilliant. Especially the Meatballnorah.

Of course, now I'm hungry for meatballs at 5am. Bastard.

Maxie said...

God, I'm so glad you're taking me down with you.


Me-Me King said...

Meatballnorah. Mmmmmm, so meaty!

Mr. Condescending said...

The ethiopian jews dreidle. Spin it and either win a pair of running shoes or a feast (one pea).

Miss Yvonne said...

I bet those Italian Jews feel really really conflicted. Like, all the time.

Moooooog35 said...

Griffin: OH MAN. A Dreidel sword.

Get to work on that PRONTO.

Cora: I'm always hungry for meatballs and I'm not even an Italian Jew.

Go figure.

Maxie: Is there any other way?

Me-Me: You sound filthy.

Mr. Condescending: Don't they have to eat the pea first in order to get the strength to spin it?

I have no idea..just asking. You brought it up.

Miss Yvonne: Imagine how German Jews feel. Be like an internal 2012 without all the John Cusack.

Diva's Thoughts said...

Oh my goodness!!! You are so truly disturbed! lol

Chris C said...

If Band Aid had chosen Hanukkah to sing about then the children in Africa could have been fed with those meatballnorahs.

Malicious Intent said...

I don't believe in I think you will end up on the Vegas Strip as a dancer for Cirque du Soleil.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

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