Flickr Makes Me Cross (Dress) | Mental Poo

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Flickr Makes Me Cross (Dress)

"..and then I wished I was blind."

Let me explain.

Every once in a while I run through Flickr looking for photos for my Motivational Posters.

Sometimes, this is a bad, bad idea.

Why?

THIS is why:


Oh. Look.

I vomited.

Not that I have anything against big hairy guys wearing dresses and heels and OMG OMG OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!

Sorry.

My point is that I have nothing against these people (especially my testicles) and them posting pictures of themselves..

But..then you get the COMMENTS:


"Hot?"

"Beautiful legs and feet?"


Did I die? Is this Hell?

It can't be Hell because I really really expected Rachael Ray to be serving me appetizers of Andy Dick's flaccid penis.

Let's see...more pictures and..um....

NOOOO!!!


"The Hills are alive...with the sound of..."

Me.

That's the sound of me.

Retching. Everywhere.

Comments!


"I love your outfit..very sexy."

This has to be a horrible, horrible dream.

That said, when Martin Luther King Jr. announced "I have a dream.." I HIGHLY DOUBT it involved this thing standing on top of a fucking mountain with it's balls tucked up neatly behind it's taint.

Just a guess here.

That's right.

I'm hereby declaring that mountain-top hiking transsexuals in pink fuzzy slippers and a tasteful yet understated low-cut top go against the very fiber of the Civil Rights movement.

Either that, or they're just grossing me the fuck out.

poTAYto..poTAHto


Um.

* blink


You see?

Shit like this is why I stopped visiting Grandpa.

This is also the reason why I think I'm gonna stay away from Flickr for a while.

I don't think my stomach can handle it.

52 comments:

Shieldmaiden96 said...

This would have been a really good time to make your thumbnail photos the size of an actual thumbnail.

*shudder*

Travis said...

You know what I think bothers me the most about this?

You found these pictures, and could keep them up in MS Paint to do the writing and such.

You're an American hero.

And yeah, on the way with that bleach.

Coffeypot said...

Yeah, but at 3 a.m. and 15 Scotch and Waters, you will be all over'em.

Becky..AMHW said...

Crossdressers were some of my favorite customers at the costume shop. Most were very polite.

The impolite kind of crossdressers got so turned on in the costume shop that they tried to leave fluids. I got a couple of those. Walked them out of the store before it got so far as leaving a stain.

Other people left fluids on the tanning bed in that same shop and that was NASTY. Crusty cooked nasty.

Oh look, I just vomited.

Becky..AMHW said...

I forgot to add that I know how to tuck it.

That Kind of Girl said...

Wouldn't Andy Dick's erect penis be even more hellish?

Me-Me King said...

I can think of at least a half dozen things he-she could have done with that feather in the last shot and it none involve wearing it.

Ed Adams said...

I wish I could erase this entire post from my memory.

Maybe that's just because it opens up too many dark doors from my childhood.

Or it's just because I'm jealous I don't own that first dress.

WTF!

*vomits*

Matt said...

Wow.

I think his/her outfit WAS pretty respectable...

I mean, it didnt totally scream whore.

Midwest Mommy said...

I too stumbled upon these in flickr one night. It scarred me fir life.

Meat Sweats said...

How on earth did you look at any of them long enough to comment on them? I wouldn't think you would need bleach, as your retinas should have disintegrated.

Elly Lou said...

Really? The men in panties didn't bother me at all. Becky bothered me. Lots. Crusty baked-on bodily fluids? Vomitosis. Beck totally wins.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Damn, dude, you need to keep your mind open. Not everyone was born into the bodies they--okay, I can't continue this farce any further.

I need to go pour acid into my eyes.

What has been seen...can't be unseen...

♥Barbara♥ said...

Transsexuals have to comment nice things to other transsexuals. I'm pretty sure the one with the last name Orange was a dude, and the one below IT was a guy.

Could be wrong.

But they do have to help each other. Get the world to understand their point. blah! blah! blah! I cannot bash. I had a brother who dressed like a woman - was told had really, really good taste. I still find it weird.

Brutalism said...

Appalling. And by that, I mean the fuzzy slippers with the outfit that obviously called for a black patent pump.

Laurie said...

I have those exact same boots...the ones where the *shim looks like shim's taking a shit in the first picture.....



*combination of she/him...in case that skipped over your bent over, retching head. :-)

carissajaded said...

Wow. just wow. But now please please please (im on my knees) (not in that way you perv) please pretty please dress up and post a pic on flickr just to see what comments you get???

Eva Gallant said...

It's very disturbing that you spent that much time on those pictures! Methinks thou doth protest to much! lol

Mrsblogalot said...

I've only just begun to test the true strength of my stomach.

Looking at these......fashion statements...

Uh, So far, not so good.

Moooooog35 said...

Shield: Preaching to the choir. Preaching to the choir.

Travis: And AT WORK, TOO!

NOW how awesome am I?

Coffey: You read me like a book.

Becky: You tuck OTHER people, right?

RIGHT?!

That kind: I believe that's up for interpretation.

me-me: You're dirty.

Ed: Look at you all pretending that's not you.

So cute.

Matt: Good point. Not really.

Midwest: '..and gave me new computer wallpaper.'

Meat: I have the stomach of Rod Stewart.

I meant 'strong'..not 'filled with semen.'

Elly: Wait. We're SCORING these?

Mjenks: Love the last line.

Barbara: You sound like a tolerant person.

I believe you know where the door is.

;)

Brutalism: I KNOW, RIGHT? The fuck?

Laurie: I'm not so sure that's a good thing to admit...

Carissa: Again?!

I mean, um..no.

Eva: You have no idea.

Mrsblogalot: One of them is MrBlogALot..isn't it?

So sorry.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I am thinking since you so loath the photos. It may have awaken something in you that wants to come out!!

Usually what irritates us about one person is because we see ourselves in them. haha.

I bet pink would look fab on you! Happy cross dressing day!

"Mr. Knucklehead" said...

"Every once in a while I run through Flickr looking for photos for my Motivational Posters."

Sure, Moog, whatever you say. Just stick to that story and you'll be fine.

Two Normal Moms said...

This is seriously scary stuff. And another good reason to stay away from flickr.
***Ally

Jen said...

But all of them, except for Grandpa, had really nice legs. Grandpa just needs to shave his.

I don't understand why they dress as women but I know a lot who do and they are all really nice guys, they just lack fashion sense. Clearly, the man on the mountain should have been wearing boots.

Wait, now I'm confused, are these guys transsexuals or drag queens?

Don said...

Trannies don't even die like normal people! You shoot one in the head and they're like "my goddamn wig you pin head!!!" Then they croak.

Daffy said...

I don't know what to say...

These are pics of some of the kids I work with 20 years in the future...

Malach the Merciless said...

You and I need to go out to a drag bar one day

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Come on, the first one was rocking those boots.

Gotta give it to her.

Well, not literally.

Maxie said...

If this is the kind of feedback you get on flickr pictures I am joining immediately.

hiphophippie.com said...

So you're saying that if I grow a penis, some facial hair, and 4 shoe sizes then I'd finally get some compliments?

Janna said...

I guess it could be worse...
One of them could be Dick Cheney.

The caption could say "Just try to forget about the 'dick' part for now."

Roschelle said...

Wow...just wow. What more can you say. The internet is truly an eye opener ...even if you wish you could close 'em forever afterwards!!!

Moooooog35 said...

Wannabe: You're mean to me.

Knucklehead: Phew!

Bullet. Dodged.

TwoNormal: Or is it a new excuse to browse through it?!

Discuss.

Jen: Um. The real question is:

Why are you asking me?!?!?

Don: Dude. You are 7 shades of disturbed.

Daffy: The more you know.

Malach: AGAIN?!

The Mad Woman: I know, right?

I mean, um. EW.

Maxie: I may start a site called 'effedupflickrcomments.com'

GENIUS!

hiphop: Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Janna: Actually..I think one of them IS Dick Cheney.

You should see the one of Joe Biden.

Creepy.

Roschelle: Close them forever...or tear your eyes out with forks.

Either way, really.

MommaKiss said...

That last one really IS my grampa and now I'm offended.

Adoption of Jane said...

LMFAO!

The Peach Tart said...

"It can't be Hell because I really really expected Rachael Ray to be serving me appetizers of Andy Dick's flaccid penis." - ha! this vision of hell

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

just wonderful. as always, thanks for sharing your family photos.

meleah rebeccah said...

I want those pink slippers!

LiLu said...

I started a Flickr account yesterday.

I'm just going to put everything I can find that comes up with a google search of "tranny hooker" in it and send it to you.

Merry... January.

Miss Spoken said...

I'm pretty sure that last lovely lady has a skin suit somewhere in her closet and a rope collection she'd like to show you.

UberGrumpy said...

Yeeeeuck

Nice slippers though. I wonder where he bought them?

Jessica Eiden Smedley said...

So wait, your Grandpa wears dresses?

Thanks for the laughs, I needed it today. You have a new follower.

tera said...

Found you via workforced.com. I made the mistake of reading this at work and I had to laugh out loud or I would have peed my pants and they kind of frown on that sort of thing.

OMG. Now I have to come back to read more!

dufmanno said...

I don't get it. The tranny population here in DC is drop dead gorgeous and minus the huge feet, height and adams apple are hard to pick out.

mepsipax said...

Oh dear god that was fanfuckingtastic. Bleach can not erase those images. See this is why I stumble with caution. I fucking love your blog.

Moooooog35 said...

Momma: YOU'RE offended? Just think how HE feels now that everyone knows YOU'RE his granddaughter.

Always about you, isn't it?

Adoption: I'll take that as a compliment.

Peach: Seriously. I think I nailed it.

Speaking: I'm here for you.

Not really.

Meleah: aaaaand shocked face.

Lilu: You're a vile woman sometimes.

Miss: PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!!

Uber: They're available at my store and..um..I mean...no idea.

Jessica: YAY! New follower! Is that you in the bushes?

Tera: Welcome! Please send money.

dufmanno: Yet another reason while I'll stay right here, thankyouverymuch.

mepsipax: Thanks!! Always looking for someone to feed my narcissism.

smumzie said...

Tsk, tsk. Sniping is so lowbrow (yet you make it hilarious). Must.stop.chortling.

We happen to know a transexual (well, a brother of a friend - who, btw, calls the brother his sister) but we digress. They can be such clever people, we're a little disappointed that their comments to each other were so ... kissassy. Do none of them really have the balls (heh) to tell them how atrocious those outfits are?

Take yourself over to Amazon and order some Eddie Izzard. You're clearly smart enough to get his sense of humor, even if he is British.

;o)
Smumzie loves your site by the way and before you even reply, we don't care if you don't like people who refer to themselves in the third person. We likes it. And referring to ourself (selves?) as the Royal 'We.'

That is all.

smumzie said...

In case your eyes are still stinging from the acid, here's a classic Eddie Izzard bit that someone cleverly disguised. We suppose they couldn't stand to look at a man in blue eyeshadow and heels either. We're not sure he's a taint-tucker though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Hey, did I give you permission to use the photo of me climbing Mt. Everest in my pink slippers? No, I did not. You'll be hearing from my lawyer, asshole!

ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

the glimpse of 'crotch' in that last picture has rendered me blind.

JD at I Do Things said...

When I saw the photo on your Linked Within widget, I . . . thought it was you. Sorry.

Uh, you look very respectable?

Anonymous said...

So many search results on Flickr contain this tranny crap. Give us the option to filter out this shit from our searches Flickr!

Related Posts with Thumbnails