Jesus H. Christ.
I read that title, like, three times and I still don't understand it.
Confusion WIN!
Fresh on the heels of my son's "BOOK OF DESTRUCTION," I found something.
Something that...
DISTURBS ME.
Yes.
My daughter is just as messed up in the head as my son.
Apples and trees..yeah, I get it.
Shut up.
My daughter happened to show me some drawings she did the other day in one of her notebooks.
(click to enlarge..that's what she said...not really)
Exhibit A: CraigsList
Yes.
She drew Craigslist.
How do you draw Craigslist, you ask?
Just. Like. This.
AWESOME.
Of course, if I wanted to sell a talking Dora house and found THIS when I went to the website, I'd be pretty let down.
Then, I see..
Exhibit B: The Australian Princess and the Worm Police
"The Australian Princess and the Worm Police"
* blink
I have NO fucking clue where this came from, but I'm definitely considering this for the next round of Mental Poo-Looza shirts as a great name for a rock band.
On sale now.
Thought I'd throw that in there.
Make some coin.
*cricket
Oh well...you know, I always knew my son was mine..just because he's only 1/2 level away from being as messed up as I am.
But now I guess I know my daughter is, too.
Suppose I can cancel those paternity tests and take the 'Lost and Found' ad off Craigslist.
Which is apparently just a list of names anyway...according to my girl.
Awesome.
Moog out.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
My Daughter - She's Definitely My Son's Sister
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32 comments:
The worms look like they're burrowing into her skin like leeches. What are you letting that little girl watch on TV, Moog?
Love the Craig's List. Makes a lot more sense to me than the real one, most of the time. Have you seen some of the freaks over there advertising, um, themselves? Her concept is a lot more pleasant. The Goof in the middle must be one of those freaks. She's got a great awareness for freaks. She must know some.
Eeeeew! Worms = Law Enforcement. I totally get it. But then I am one roller short of a perm as well...
Your daughter rocks out loud.
She's obviously very gifted......got that from her Mom, huh?
She draws quite well for her age. Maybe you should get her to do your more G-Rated sketches.
Too funny. Kids are precious.
p.s. I think you may be the worm. ;-)
Your daughter is a genius! The worm police picture proves it. Don't squelch her creativity, as if you could.
Sorry, it's early, the kids haven't gone to school and are whiny and really you didn't give me much to work with today.
I think I prefer the original spelling of "Austialina".
"But I didn't do anything." - She's learning the standards early. Have you also taught her "It's not mine, I'm holding it for a friend."?
I freaking love the Book of Destruction! When my son was 6 he could've never been so creative! He still likes to draw rainbows and butterflies. Maybe he is trying to tell me something?
And I so agree that the Australian Worm Police would be a great band name. You better hurry up and trademark that!
Wow....someone should contact Marvel
I'm so proud of your little Moooooogette...Taking after daddy one little evil step at a time.
The hell of it is, and this is really shitty, not only does your daughter draw better than I do, she is also more creative.
Can I hire her out to write for my blog? I swear there won't be an inappropriate work relationship.
Fuck yes. The worm police.
The Australian Princess has it coming. She knows what she did.
Kinda scared that she knew that Craigslist existed.
Seriously. What does this girl do in her spare time?
Joann: I don't know where she gets these ideas.
Hold that thought, Ultimate Warrior is on tv.
Linnnnn: One roller short of a perm.
GENIUS.
Nina: What are you trying to say?
00dozo: You're not the first person to compare me with a worm.
Won't be the last.
Jen: She is genius. I think she gets it from me.
Obviously.
Jessica: We're working on the 'it's not mine' thing.
Hold on..social services is here again.
Random: Book of Destruction is one of my all-time favorites.
Daffy: LOOK OUT, IRON MAN!
Momma: It's called 'brainwashing.'
Or parenting. One or the other.
Travis: As long as you pay her, I don't care.
Sarah: EXACTLY.
Christina: She knows about it because we put all their shit up on Craigslist like the day after Christmas.
Plus, I'm a prostitute.
She's already obsessed with worms, eh? You're going to have a hard time keeping that one off the pole. Like father, like daughter?
Great. Now I've got Cheap Trick's "Dream Police" running through my head, only with new lyrics:
The worm police, they live on top of my arm
The worm police, they mean to do me some harm
The worm police, they even arrest Austialina princesses OH NO!
You're done breeding, right? ;)
The girl has a future--what type of future remains to be seen.
She's going to be a writer when she grows up!
You have a very special daugther.
No, I mean it. You need to get her checked out. That ain't right.
I totally get the worm police thingy. I don't think she is anything like you. I'm thinking her mother's kid.
Afterall, she is more funny and didn't talk about shit or poo.
Elly Lou: ..sounds like someone speaking from experience?
JD: aaaaand now two of us have that song in our head.
Thanks a lot.
Kernut: HELL YES.
Eva: Touche'.
Meeko: Yes.."Dear Penthouse Forum..I never thought this would happen to me..."
Ziva: Preaching to the choir, sister.
Momma: In my defense I don't think I've talked about shit or poo in, like, two weeks or something.
So there.
At least she wasn't advertising the services of the worm police at the bottom of her Craig's List! Totally cracked me up! My ingenius kids take after their father, except when their true genius shines then of course it's all me!!!
You asked for it.
Your daughter was having an early idea for a porn movie, clearly. When she's older she'll realize that the princess is naked and the worm police are uh.....on the rigid side.
What?
The craig's list is genius. My son has made some messed up shit too. Guess I shouldn't have let him listen to Drowning pool as a toddler.
That is nothing short of ingenious! It takes a very creative mind (or exceedingly demented one, but I'm leaning towards creative) to put together Worm Police and Austalian Princess.
You must be very proud!
Apple, tree....no doubt about it.
Dammit! JD beat me to the Cheap Trick reference.
Moog, my friend, you have some seriously screwed up kids.
As though we should be surprised by this.
Don't stifle their creativity, someday they might just go to Visual and Peforming Arts College!
I think Daughter actually has one up on ya.
DUDE! You're daughter is a straight up GENUIS! Did i spell that wrong!? Anyway, I love love LOVE her craigslist, and I think I may have to purchase a shirt. Just amazing.
You people say that my kids are screwed up like it's NEWS to you.
Kinda weird.
Love the List of Craigs. And the Worm Police. Now, are they actual police who hunt worms- specifically? Or are they worms who are police...like in the worm community?
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