My son is awesome.
He's also wicked handsome but that's primarily because he looks like me.
I hope he inherits my modesty.
A while ago, the soon-to-be-ex-wife and I took the kids to "Cracker Barrel" for breakfast.
Cracker Barrel ad:
"Come in for breakfast. No teeth? No problem. Most of our staff doesn't have them, either."
Seriously - half the people in there look like they bang their sisters.
For the record, I don't have a sister.
Before we left, we told the kids to hit the bathrooms. I went into the men's room with my son.
Son: "I have to go poop."
Because I love hanging out in men's rooms.
No - seriously.
Regardless, my son popped into a stall while I stood at the urinal myself.
BE STILL, ANACONDA!!
Suddenly, the bathroom door burst open and a guy - in an obvious situation of full-on bowel distress - goes shooting into the stall next to my son.
No sooner is the guy in the stall, sitting right next to my son separated only by a small metal wall...
...does the cacophony of fart fireworks and shit-expulsion sounds begin.
*BRRAAAAPPP! BRAAAP!! FWOOOPPP!!"
This guy had to shit badly.
*PPFFFFTTTTT!! PTHBTHBTHBTHBT!! BROOOOP!"
There was a short lull in the symphony...
It's at this time that my son pipes up...
...and says to the guy in the stall:
Guys, ever try peeing at a urinal while you're laughing? It's difficult.
Probably not as difficult as it is to shit while you're laughing - which the guy in the stall was now trying to do.
My son. Is. Awesome.
Plus, he has good manners.