My Blog Can Haz Information | Mental Poo

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Blog Can Haz Information

God, I love effing with people.

Especially when I don't have to pay for it.

Got this email from BlogCatalog:

(click to enlarge all images)

Melinda has posted a new message to your shoutbox:

Hi, added you as a friend and visited your blog. It is full of information, looks really nice.


Because when most people think 'information' they think 'Mental Poo.'

So I replied:

Moooooog35 said:

Hi Minda83! Thank you for adding me as a friend! Do we have sex now? haha. kidding (not) I'm VERY glad you like all my blog's information! Which topic do you like best? I'm partial to the ones where I discuss vaginas and penises (hint). What about you?

No reply.


Then there was this one:

Emarketinguide says:

Hi, Promote your online business with free web marketing tips. I've added you as friend, hope you do the same. Let's connect. Cheers!

My reply:

Moooooog35 said:

Hi emarketinguide! You have a weird name. Is that Polish? I can't wait to promote my business with you! Do u have the same laws on underage prostitution in Poland as we do? Not that that's my business (wink), just a question. Arrividerci!

Take 3:

andyroo312 said:

Hey there, I'm a political reporter and I've just re-launched my blog, Politics by Beast. I've been cited by both the New York Observer and the Huffington Post. Follow me, both on my blog and on Twitter.

Here asshole..follow THIS:

Moooooog35 said:

Oooh. That sounds exciting!! I've been cited, as well. Mainly by my local authorities for shit like public drunkenness and lewd behavior. I wish they'd post crap about public masturbation. It's like we have to read cops' minds or something.

No one ever ever writes me back.

The Hell.

The last one:

zaheerseo said:

Hi friend i have added u in my frnd list, hope u do same plz follow my blog also Thanks dear..

NOW we're talking.

So I click on the blog link to see whaddup wif da lady and I see THIS SHIT:

You bastard.

Moooooog35 said:

Dude. I checked out your site because I'm like, 'WHOA - hot broad' and it turns out you're an INDIAN GUY who may or may not have helped me fix my laptop last week. Plus you called me 'dear.' I hope your country slips into the ocean.


I haven't had any new BlogCatalog friend requests lately.

It's a shame, really. I was starting to like it.

Moog out.

38 comments: said...

BlogCatalog makes me look so popular when I open my email, what with all these people wanting to be my friend and all. I haven't been this popular in ages... make that never. Such intellectually stimulating cyber conversation wears me out, though, so I have to decline their offers of friendship.

A Vapid Blonde said...

I hate it when people shout at my box. It's rude.

MommaKiss said...

That Indian guy, dot - not feather - he totally fixed my laptop yesterday. I recognize the stench.

nonamedufus said...

Don't sell yourself short, Moooooog (oops, sorry) Your blog haz information. Although I have to say I read it mainly for the pictures.

Unknown said...

Hey, at least you're getting attention! lol

MrsBlogAlot said...

I don't know about information but your labels crack me up!!!

Rita Templeton said...

I've gotten the "full of information" spiel too. Maybe "information" means "shit" in the spammer's native language?

SisterMerryHellish said...

This BlogCatalog sounds like a gold mine of idiots to respond to! I'll have to give it a look.

R.W. Wells said...

Polish law is just as strict as here in the states, but with many more loopholes. You really oughta look into this. Could help with any public masturbation problems that arise.

Unknown said...

That right there is a gem on people you can start a business on public masturbation. I hear india and poland love circle jerks? Yes - No?

No wonder I am getting punish, I chuckle on your comment of India sliding into the ocean. Fuck Midget, my karma is destroyed every time I read your blog.

Christina_the_wench said...

You've been cited too? That one about the chicken and the vat of lard was bogus, though. I'm innocent.

Diva's Thoughts said...

OMG!! You are killing me over here. LOL

Moooooog35 said...

CatLady: Why decline when you can do stuff like THIS?!?!

Vapid: But you make it so easy.

Momma: It's the curry that gives it away.

noname: Suddenly I've become Playboy.


Eva: It's like you enjoy being mean to me.

Mrsblogalot: I have labels?!

Rita: Are you saying my blog has shit?

I guess that makes sense.

Sister: TONS of idiots.

I'm on there.


RW: Send me kielbasa!

Wannabe: Karma is overrated. Unless you're a Buddhist..then it's pretty much all you've got.

Christina: That's not what Dateline NBC says.

Tee: You're welcome.

Unknown said...

Now that Ive read this, I feel like I have failed somehow as a blogger. I never get this sort of mail. I only get shit about rainbow crapping unicorns and the occasional marriage proposal.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I fell for zaheerseo's shit, and now I'm living in a hellish version of life that I call "Brokeback Bangladesh." My advice: DO NOT respond to friend requests on Blogcatalog.

Elly Lou said...

You DO have information. I would have no idea how dangerous my shampoo was without your guidance.

I'm so going to go yell at Vapid's box now.

Simply Curious said...

Him: asl?

Me: 365/f/turtle/bottom of ocean

Him: Got a cam?

rwwells said...

Mama, don't feel bad. Moooog is s freak of nature in the blogger world (and other, creepier worlds as well).

Chris said...

"Emarketinguide" may be Polish, but I'm guessing Scandinavian. In any case, he's not Italian otherwise he'd be named emarketin-guido.

Just a thought.

evil p0ptart said...

LOL.. love your sense of humor.

Christina Harper said...

I seriously hate that spam email shit. I just want to take those people and shove their computers down their throats for wasting valuable seconds of my life having to delete pointless messages.

meleah rebeccah said...

I cant stop laughing. I get those blogcatalog emails, request, and shouts all the time - but I just IGNORE all of them.

I could never think of the funny replies you managed to come up with!

"Emarketinguide" DOES kind of sound Polish! And Im sorry that 'hot girl' turned out to be an Indian GUY!

VEG said...

I think joining that site was the best thing you ever did. Because, I think everyone should respond to their spam in such a lovely manner. Especially as I just ate lunch and when I laugh too hard I fart and it tickles.

Sunny said...

Being a blogger noob, I thought I actually got a comment from a real person (my 2nd comment actually, you being the first...(smooch)) and I was all like "I"m somebody, I'm somebody." Till I read it again and realized that it sounded like an old Indian (feather, not dot) wrote it. Besides, "good information" consisted of vibrators, RCH and bitching so

Malach the Merciless said...

Gotta love web robots . .

pattypunker said...

that's the original st paulie's girl from the 80s, silly goose. everyone knows she had a coke problem and died. you were haz.

Ed said...

I have BlogCatalog, but I've never played with it.

I'm too busy playing with OTHER things.

Jeremy from We Took The Bait said...

It looks as though Minda83 has removed your comment from her shoutbox. You may have to resend it... or send a love haiku.

At least one.

Grizzly Bear said...

LMAO, that is too funny. I love the replies from these non-person crap.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Minda is so cute! I think I know her!

Moooooog35 said...

Midwestern: Unicorns propose?!?!?!

MikeWJ: But how is your Bollywood singing?

Elly: You're welcome. Shampoo can be deadly.

Simply: Are you saying you have an underwater computer?


rwwells: Thank you. I think.

Chris: Good point. But I bet he makes-a good-a pizza!

Evil: That makes two of us at least.

Christina: You sound happy.

Meleah: See how easy it is! Try it at home!

Veggie: Seriously could have done without the tickling fart part.


Sunny: Please forward those along. Thanks in advance.

Malach: WHAT?!?!?

Patty: Thank God for lookalikes, then.

Ed: Please tell me you're going to disinfect your keyboard now.


G-Zell: Thank you...I'm here all week.


Absence: RIGHT?! RIGHT?!

Jen said...

I hate Blog Catalog! This was most excellent but I wish you would not Stumble your own posts, I want the credit for discovering these.

Pat said...

I think the message is loud and clear here.

"Don't F**k with the little guy!"

Anonymous said...

Dear Moooooooog Darling,
I am a lovely little passionate divorcee with a big-chested tight body and an even tighter pussy.

The tight body is the leathered remains in the garage of my deceased husband, and I think he accidentally fell on the knife or something and the tight pussy is my fucking cat that's always getting into my liquor stash----who knew cats like Vodka? Not me.

Can we be Facebook or Twitter or Google friends or something...?

Love your blog, btw.

JD at I Do Things said...

Crapppp! We're not friends on Blog Catalog? How did that happen? Well, we're friends now, buster.

Chris Cameron said...

And all this time I just ignored those things.

On a side note, that political blog must have been cited as the worst ever cause it sucks. The Salem Observer is more interesting to read. said...


Chris is right, I'm not Polish. I'm an Inidan and proud to be.

I don't spam in any case, however as I love web and want to connect & create morefriends so I invite other people especially other country people Because in this way, you learn lots of new things.

If anybody don't like to make new friends, s/he can accept my offer.

Steyny said...


If information means random BS then yes, your blog haz information!

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