Anti-Semitic Sudoku | Mental Poo

Monday, November 15, 2010

Anti-Semitic Sudoku


It's a ritual every morning.

Get up.

Get coffee.

Get the urge to...you know...RELEASE.

Go to the bathroom.

Start playing with myself while sitting on the toilet.

I like to play the Cryptoquote first, and then the Sudoku puzzle.

Yeah. Sudoku.

What were you thinking?

Sick bastards.

I love you all.

So..the morning sudoku puzzle in my newspaper usually is done so that the numbers in the puzzle make some sort of picture.

Like this:


Or..

Like this one:


But then the other morning...

I get this one:


The fuck?

I can NOT figure out what this is.

I even tried blurring my vision by pouring vodka straight into my eye sockets which not ONLY worked but also had the effect of me driving my car directly into a busload of children later that day.

Different post.

I couldn't figure it out so I drew lines connecting all the numbers which gives me this:


I stared at this for a while.

I could only come up with this:


Admittedly, "Jazz Hands Sudoku" is probably a bit of a stretch so I erased all the lines and shit and started over.

Um.

And then...

IT HIT ME.

A horror so unspeakable..I don't even have the words.

So I will show you:


..becomes...


I know.

SHOCKING.

A pro-Hitler Sudoku!!

Or...as the white supremacists call it:

Jew-doku.

I will be calling the newspaper and reporting the guy who made this thing as soon as I figure out this fucking crossword puzzle.

Anyone know a six letter word for "German Dictator?"

Nevermind. I'll just Google it.

40 comments:

The mad woman behind the blog said...

The comic genius strikes again! And I didn't even throw up.

The Empress said...

You are crazy.

And for that reason, I shall be a regular visitor.

And my fave is the Jazz Hands Sudoku.

Lynn MacDonald said...

I do sudoku but the ones in the paper are too easy! I now realize that I was avoiding them because of subliminal messages they were sending out. Thanks for enlightening me.

Boom Boom Larew said...

Gee... and here I always thought you were supposed to complete the puzzle with more numbers. Boy, was I ever wrong! Thanks for setting me straight!

Kage said...

See, this is why I don't DO Sudokus. Thinking. Leads. To. Racism.

I can't wait to see tomorrow's, though. Hitler With Jazz Hands!

Please post it, if it is so...

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Thank you for ruining Jazz hands for me. That was my childhood dream to have the best Jazz hands there could possibly be. You dream ruiner. I love you anyway, but you're short so maybe not.

SisterMerryHellish said...

Are you sure this wasn't just in YOUR paper? After the Hitler mustache post perhaps you're getting communists tests from the government via sudoku!

Ed said...

The papers are getting really racist lately.

I just noticed our local has changed the Tic-Tac-Toe word puzzle to a Spic-Jap-Pole word puzzle.

Not sure why the switch, but this version of the puzzle is more fun.

Deborah said...

The fact that you connect the numbers and make a picture with your sudoku will keep me giggling ALL DAY.

Now I have a new game to play when the newspaper comes. LOL

MommaKiss said...

You jack off while sitting on the toilet? I'm perplexed.

Big fan of the jazz hands though. Impressive.

Dazee Dreamer said...

I especially like the jazz hands. Now quit playing with yourself. :)

Moooooog35 said...

Mad woman: Comedic genius?

Where?!

Empress: *blushes

Lynn: I do them BECAUSE of the subliminal messages.

It's a new thing every day!

Boom Boom: It's what I'm here for.

That and, of course, eye candy.

Kage: Hm. I do it BECAUSE of the racism.

Weird.

Wannabe: Once you go short, you never go..what the Hell rhymes with 'short?'

Sister: OOOOH! Maybe I'm a secret agent!!

shhhh.

Ed: ..gotta take it down that one notch, dontcha?

Deborah: you're welcome.

Momma: Well..um..DUH.

Lisa @ akawest said...

Oy vey!

The Absence of Alternatives said...

I always thought Sudoku is a way for some secret societies to send secret code between members (e.g. location and timing for a flash mob), OR worse, a way for them to send out subliminal messages to brain wash us. Your post just proved my theory!

Eva Gallant said...

The warped mind resurfaces! Amazing.

Elly Lou said...

You also refer to your special shower time activities as "jazz hands" don't you?

Suburban Correspondent said...

I knew there was a reason I don't like Sudoku.

kris said...

This here . . .

Admittedly, "Jazz Hands Sudoku" is probably a bit of a stretch so I erased all the lines and shit and started over.

This is why I don't play with myself while on the toilet.

Shit is hard to erase.

Quirkyloon said...

Only Jew, Mooog. Only Jew.

Miss Yvonne said...

This is why I prefer to play scramble on my phone in the bathroom instead. No nazi hate puzzles in a game of boggle. No sir.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

It's like that movie A Beautiful Mind...you may be on to something!!! Keep searching for "jazz hands" in your Sudoku, you may just save the world!

Justus Steel said...

brilliant

Opto-Mom said...

After reading this,I went to check our local Sudoku, and it looked like bacon. And the crossword puzzle looked like biscuits and gravy.

Shit! Now I'm hungry. Off to Pitt Grill....

Pat said...

You are one crazy dude! Now I know what to do with those stinking puzzles that I can't solve! Thank you!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

You are so disturbed! lol

pattypunker said...

you blacked out the nips! hilarious.

andygirl said...

well when you add the Hitler heads it all becomes horrifyingly clear.

Malach the Merciless said...

I recognized that immediately, see what a art degree gets you

Moooooog35 said...

Lisa: Sshhh. The Sudoku will hear you!

Absence: You're welcome.

Eva: Why? When did it go underwater?

Elly: I do now.

Suburban: Are you sure it wasn't because of your hatred of geography?

Kris: You'd actually be surprised.

Quirky: HA!! It's funny cuz it sounds like 'you!'

Miss Yvonne: Where's the fun in THAT?

Bird Shit: Man..if I had a nickel for every time I hear that...

Justus: I KNOW.

Opto: Don't drink the Kool-Aid!

Pat: Oh..they'll solve YOU.

Tee: Like this is news.

Patty: Hey..kind of a family show, you know?

Andy: That's what Hitler's girlfriend said.

Malach: You sir, are a scholar!

meleah rebeccah said...

Ahahahahhahahaah! Ahahahahhahah!

"Jew-doku"



Ahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahaha!

JENNY said...

Thanks for the link www.texterrors.com I've laughed so I cry to all who sent their messages to the wrong person:)

Best
/ Jenny

laurenne said...

haaaaa.
I love the lady with big tits. Because tits and poo will never cease to make me laugh.

Also, I hate the smell of newspapers because they remind me of my parents sitting on the toilet.
Now I will add you to that image. Even though I've never seen you. I imagine your face sort of looks like a hand with a face painted on it though.

Moooooog35 said...

Meleah: Well said!

Jenny: Wait. What?

Laurenne: Well..if you clicky clicky on that Facebook link up there..well...BAM.

Vinny C said...

Now we know what Mr. Gibson is keeping himself busy with in between films.

Mrsblogalot said...

HAAA!!!! Jewdiculous. Just the way I like it....and you of course.

Dr. Cynicism said...

I KNEW Sudoku was secretly evil! Thank you for proving it. Also, @ Vinny C, best comment I've seen all week dude!! LOL

Stacyonthecouch said...

Jew funny, man! There's meatloaf all over my keyboard now.

HumorSmith said...

I believe the 6 letter word you're looking for is "Kaiser". I'm on a roll.

Greg said...

Possibly if you had released all that pent up tension first you may have seen something less violent in the Sodoku..

Didactic Pirate said...

Clearly, the evil genius creator was working on several levels -- put it all together, and you get...

Jazz Hands Hitler Sudoku.

Diabolical.

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