It's a ritual every morning.
Get the urge to...you know...RELEASE.
Go to the bathroom.
Start playing with myself while sitting on the toilet.
I like to play the Cryptoquote first, and then the Sudoku puzzle.
What were you thinking?
I love you all.
So..the morning sudoku puzzle in my newspaper usually is done so that the numbers in the puzzle make some sort of picture.
Like this one:
But then the other morning...
I get this one:
I can NOT figure out what this is.
I even tried blurring my vision by pouring vodka straight into my eye sockets which not ONLY worked but also had the effect of me driving my car directly into a busload of children later that day.
I couldn't figure it out so I drew lines connecting all the numbers which gives me this:
I stared at this for a while.
I could only come up with this:
Admittedly, "Jazz Hands Sudoku" is probably a bit of a stretch so I erased all the lines and shit and started over.
IT HIT ME.
A horror so unspeakable..I don't even have the words.
So I will show you:
A pro-Hitler Sudoku!!
Or...as the white supremacists call it:
I will be calling the newspaper and reporting the guy who made this thing as soon as I figure out this fucking crossword puzzle.
Anyone know a six letter word for "German Dictator?"
Nevermind. I'll just Google it.