Smack my Face and Call me Aang | Mental Poo

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Smack my Face and Call me Aang

I was bored at work the other day because no one had answered my question on Twitter whether or not pasting Mario Lopez' hair onto the Ayatollah Khomenei's head would result in a fatwa against me so I decided to IM my friend Kristin.

Work is hard, yo.

Anyway, Kristin had been complaining that her face hurt around her left eye at which point I assumed that her husband, Jeff, was abusing her which is nothing to be taken lightly, of course, but I was joking around and when joking around, nothing says 'funny' like spousal abuse commentary.*

*notsomuch

Also this scenario is pretty unrealistic since she could totally kick his ass PLUS even though she's married to him, Jeff is kind of gay and the best he could probably muster was, like, a semi-hard pinch or something.


So my morning was comprised of an Instant Message involving porn, spousal abuse, and The Last Airbender...and then writing this post.

Then I went back to my Mario Lopez/Ayatollah Khomenei project.

Seriously, am I gonna be in deep shit with the Arab world for this or what?

Meh.

21 comments:

Vodka Logic said...

You could always hide out with Salman Rushdie.. I am sure he's lots of fun.

Vinny C said...

I think he'd mind if you gave him Mario's hair, just don't mess with the beard. He spent a long time getting it just right.

Ed said...

Who the fuck cares what the Arabs think?

They all deserve a good dick slap.

Except for the kids, because thats illegal.

Kage said...

did kristin really just turn down the chance to get smacked in the face with your cock? what the hell is wrong with that woman?!

apparently she wouldn't know chivalry if it smacked her in the face with it's cock.

Eva Gallant said...

I wouldn't be opening in suspicious-looking packages if I were you!

Elly Lou said...

Only you could make "semi-hard pinch" sound like porn.

SherilinR said...

lol at your semi-hard pinch. he sounds like such a beast! guess it depends on where the pincher is pinching.

Brutalism said...

Why you gotta make fun of University of Phoenix? I used to teach there. It's the Harvard of the strip mall...

pattypunker said...

you totally nailed the dick slapping sound. wap wap wap.

ps: kristen rulz!

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

Awesome

Coffeypot said...

I think Kristin should dump her gay husband and hook up with you in your small apartment. That way, when you wake up to fish smells, it will be more fun.

SisterMerryHellish said...

So, you dick smack avatars (and coworkers if you're lukcy)on the side?

You should really type up a resume for us some day. I'd love to see it!

Mike said...

If you cock really looked like the Avatar kid it would have it's own show already.

Why doesn't it have its own show?

Moooooog35 said...

Vodka: I've been trying to call him but he's not picking up!!

Vinny: Hm. Too late. Half the battle is in Mario's dimples.

Man. That sounds gay.

Ed: I don't think it's illegal if you're from there, though.

You moving now?

Kage: RIGHT?!

Eva: haha. you said 'packages.'

Elly Lou: It's a gift, really.

Sherilin: Yes. He's a beast alright.*

*notsomuch

Brutalism: Explains SO MUCH about today's generation.

pattypunker: Please describe in detail how you know this.

Include pics.

Kimber: ..and this is news..how?

;)

Coffey: Preaching to the choir, my friend.

Sister: Wow, lady. You give me so many great ideas!!

Mike: It does. It's called "Jay Leno"

andygirl said...

I think that if you don't end up on a fatwa or national security list of some kind, you're doing life wrong.

Pearl said...

Just don't accept any cartooning jobs from that newspaper in Denmark...

Pearl

Sarah P said...

I like the "wap wap wap" sound effect.

meleah rebeccah said...

I've never had that much fun at any job - with any co-worker. ever.

Jon Konrath said...

Salman Rushdie got married to the very sexy and very top-heavy Padma Lakshmi, which makes me want to go take drawing lessons just so I can make lots of cartoons of allah or whatever it would take to nail someone like her.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Kristen's got a great sense of humor. But I can't help but wonder why you haven't been fired?

Opto-Mom said...

I usually hear fwap fwap fwap. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe using too much wrist?

Please advise.

"I don't see how you walk around with those things."

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