It's the End of the World and We Know It and I Feel Like Dog Shit | Mental Poo

Friday, December 31, 2010

It's the End of the World and We Know It and I Feel Like Dog Shit

Yes. It's the end of the world.

Well. By 'world' I mean 'year.'

I was going to do my 'year-end retrospective' but I'm kind of tired and I don't think you'd appreciate it so instead I'm going to give you my TOP 11 POSTS OF THE YEAR because what better way to tell you what the Hell happened better than to make you jump all over the place to figure it out.

Also I picked '11' since, you know, it's going to be 2011 and all and that's the best you're going to get from me in regards to depth right now.

Just roll with it, people.

You can click on the page link or the picture to be taken to the post.

(I'm going by page visits as well as comment counts here, in case you were wondering)

#11: The Time I Tried to Kill Someone In My Apartment Building

My newspaper kept disappearing after I moved into this apartment so I figured I'd try to find ways to catch the thief and..well..


#10: A Motivational Poster...REALLY?!

I kind of find this one hard to figure out but stats don't lie so here is the #10 top post of 2010:

#9: How One Man's Facial Hair Changed History

I have to tell you..this is one of my personal all-time favorites.

#8: My First "Family Circus" Skewing

So I got sick of not laughing at "Family Circus" and decided to make my own captions.

This is the first post of many of those.

#7: And Then I Held a Pair of Fake Sunglasses Hostage at Work.

Since nothing funny was going on, I decided to invent my own as soon as I saw the note in the locker room about the missing sunglasses.

The rest, they say, is history.

#6: If you've never ever read one of Kristin's stories..this may not be the best place to start.

I got 90 comments on this one in a 6 hour period.

I can't believe I just said that word.

#5: My Take on Holiday Cards...from Divorced People

Since I was sick of all those shmoopy family cards, I wondered what it would be like if they made cards for divorced people.


#4: The One About Ruben Studdard Ninja Spiders

I can't even explain this one.

#3: My Job Moonlighting as "Dish Dolly R Us, Inc"

Sometimes, my innate ability to be a complete asshole for no reason other than to amuse myself completely amazes me.

This is one of those times.

#2: The Hulk Reads Notes to a Teacher - Episode #1

I debut my popular, yet controversial, "Hulk Reads Notes to a Teacher" video series because when my ex-wife would show me notes written to her from her kids' parents, all I could think of was the Hulk reading them.

You kind of have to watch it.

..and now...

..the NUMBER ONE POST of 2010...

#1: The Moooooog Family Holiday Letter

As of the date I wrote this (12/27/10), this one post had over 14,300 page views in just ELEVEN DAYS..making it - by far - the most popular post I ever had.

Also, fittingly, it's a 'year in review' letter about, kind of a good wrap-up.

I was going to include a full picture of the letter, but it was too long (twss) so just click here and it will load right up for you.

Honorable Mentions:

The Time I Went to a Gay Bar: That's all I'm gonna say about this one.

Anti-Semitic Sudoku: The tale of a boy, his newspaper puzzle, and a German dictator.

Pornographic Astrology and Breakfast Sandwiches: I take the Jimmy Dean sausage spokesman down to an entirely different level.

How to Properly Court a Ceiling Crevice: This is what happens when building damage resembles female genitalia to me.

The Racist Diorama: Don't's not as bad as you think. Kinda cute, actually.

Ms Sharon Wilfred Wants my Love Shafd - Part Two: Why part two of this spam email post got twice as many hits as part one is still a mystery. Must be my awesome sword picture.

Whammy Bar: My son takes 'playing with yourself' to a whole new level.

Hamster Pink is the New Hamster Black: I get a divorce and a new apartment and a hamster and please kill me.

Tortoise Embryos and Robot Anal Probes: aaaah...kindergarten projects.

I Hate My Teenagers and the Oldest One is Only 9: A heartwarming tale about how I almost caused my parents divorce by going to the video store.

Collect them all!


I've had a ton of great comments this year and a lot of new visitors, followers.

Don't forget you can click on my sidebar over there and subscribe to my blog feed or follow me on Twitter or friend me on Facebook or because I'm always accepting topless photos, ladies.

Have a safe and happy New Year, everyone.

Moog out.


life in the mom lane said...

The Ray bans were my favorite... too funny!!!!

Dorn said...

The Kristin Post was incredible!

Diva's Thoughts said...

Damn! It's hard for me to pick a favorite!! lol

Mike said...

Why someone isn't paying you to host a late night show is beyond me.

I'd make it happen but I'm not THAT kind of Jewish.

Unknown said...

It's not easy picking a favorite; there were so many good ones! But I guess I'd have to go with the hostage sun glasses!

Brutalism said...

Happy New Year to one of the funniest bloggers on the planet!

Henrietta Collins said...

sorry, where do we send our topless pics?

Jessica said...

Mooogy, I love you. I hope for good things to come your way in 2011.

But, that wouldn't make for good blogging now, would it?

Happy New Year, my little freak.

CkretsGalore said...

Hahah I enjoy "The Family Fuckshow."

How the hell has the clean version lasted so long??

Grizzly Bear said...

You had a fabulous year! LOL..... keep up the great work! Happy fkn new year... bring on armageddon I am ready LOL

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

You are awesome. PLease don't ever stop doing what you do.

Trooper Thorn said...

Love the Family Circus blogs. I hate Jeffy always asking for mom to "undo" his fruit.

MrsBlogAlot said...

I could never pick just one!! That would just be wrong (but the Family Cir....NO I won't do it)

Thanks for making us laugh all year long ( I don't care how many times I got in trouble at work (-;)

Happy New Year Mooooooog xoxox!!!

Nicole Leigh Shaw said...

I want to read all of them but I have fucking (brush your own damn teeth, wast of space!) obligations here at home.

You have made me cry the tear of joy. I think my wine consumption helped, though. I jest, you rock my socks.

Sloppy kisses, mooooooooooog (I forgot how many o's)

The Demigoddess said...

Clicking all those links made me dizzy... Happy new year, moooooog!

meleah rebeccah said...

I love every post you've ever written. You are the funniest [and sickest] person I know.

Happy New Year, Moog! said...

Another year of happy memories from the Midget Man of Steel! Here's hoping 2011 brings many happy returns of such nonsense!

LiBBy said...

Awesome and~ if you please~ where can I buy those divorced fucking christmas cards?

Alexandra said...

Mooooog, Moooog, MOOOOOG!

Whenever I read a comment of yours, or read a post of yours...all I can say is Mooooog.

You need a new word. The English language needs a new word...for how you leave me speechless.

You kill me, you crack me up, you make me smile, you make me laugh...Mooooog..moooog.

You rock my world.

I can't even choose a best from this post.

The bat one, maybe?

Oh, yes, the bat one.

Mooooog, I love you...

Jean Has Been Shopping said...

Ok, I followed you from Alexandra's blog, and found your Hulk video to be HILARIOUS! Thank you for the morning laughs.

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