Some Shit I Forgot to Write About - The BloWkus episode | Mental Poo

Friday, January 21, 2011

Some Shit I Forgot to Write About - The BloWkus episode

Ever have one of those moments where you're, like, "What the Hell am I going to write my blog about today?" and your boss is all, "Rod, you know we're in a meeting and you just said that out loud, right?"

Yeah. Me too.

So I came across some shit that I was SUPPOSED to write about but never got around to it so now you get it all in concatenated form and if you don't know what "concatenated" means then I guess that makes two of us.

This episode:

It's Less "Blokus" and More "Blow-Us"

So my kids got this game named "Blokus" for Christmas which reminds me of the word "blumpkin" but that would make a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE GIFT FOR CHILDREN.*

*Public Service Announcement

But even though it's not oral sex while seated on a toilet, Blokus is still kind of cool because it's like Tetris but without hints of Communism or that stupid song.

They give you all these colored pieces in different shapes that you're supposed to put together and the one with the least pieces left over wins.

So when you're playing, it's supposed to look something like this:



Unless I own it and have, like, 20 minutes free time on my hands.

At which point, you get this:


And, yes, I literally sat there for a while trying to find the best combination of pieces for the best result of what it would look like if Pong had a threesome and somewhere in there is a drinking game.

And therapy.

And a lawsuit by Mattel, I'm sure.

36 comments:

vickilikesfrogs said...

*snork*

That was genius! Blokus sounds like something presidential.

Christina_the_wench said...

I'm assuming the green figure is a woman sans hair? You can never tell with you.

Kev D. said...

A beautiful monument to the joining of all races, be them purple, red, or unfortunate green.

Accurate measurements too, what with the leg-length penis people.

Elly Lou said...

This should be a series. I suggest the next installment involve a Light Brite.

ryoko861 said...

That's usually all those types of games end up as...taking the tiles and making cool designs or pictures out of them.

Or getting sucked into the vacuum.

Amusing as always!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

That's just genius! And vaguely titillating! Hee. Tit.

Well done you!

Amonymous said...

Their penises (penii?) are sticking out WAY farther than their feet...and this makes me happy.

This makes me very happy in happy places.

*sigh*

Knight said...

Damn you and your seizure inducing posts! Why do I always have to change my pants after reading your blog?

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

This looks like a nice quilt pattern to me.

Moooooog35 said...

Vicki: Well, if you look at the second picture, I'm assuming we're talking Bill Clinton's presidency.

Christina: Yes. It's Sinead O'Connor.

Kev: I'm nothing if not anal about measurements.

Bad choice of words.

Elly: OOOH. Good idea!

ryoko: I'm working on a 'live version.'

You in?

Veggie: Tetris threesomes = genius.

Got it.

Amonymous: Please send photos.

Knight: Wait. Change your pants in a good way or bad way?

You've: I want to be on your Christmas list.

Brutalism said...

Okay, in the first picture, the one with the least amount of pieces wins...
In the second picture, how do you determine who's the winner?

Moooooog35 said...

Brutalism: Everyone's a winner in that one.

Ed said...

When I first saw it, I was like, "WOW. He spelled 'End' on an all white background. Except his 'd' is a little fucked up. Must have ran out of that color."

Then I went back and was like, "HOLY SHIT! It's a Tetris Train!"

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

I was a behind so I read your last three posts, which took about 18 hrs from my phone bc you have all of those gd pictures that take forever to DL. That's what real friends do though.

And this is my conclusion: you have too much spare time to think up weird sex crap.

Also, I don't think Mario Lopez is all that great. He is a cheater for starters. But listen to me, JUST A GOD DAMN TAN and Mario won't have anything on you.

Eva Gallant said...

You have a really sick mind; those poor kids of yours. What chance do they have of growing up to be normal? lol

Rahul said...

Blow-Kus? More like Blow...

I got nothing.

I've failed civilization

Ann said...

I'm with Ed, I thought that you tried to spell end... badly. Then I was all wait... that's too stupid. So I looked again.

Now I need to know; what color are you?

Moooooog35 said...

Ed: It's like "Human Centipede" but nothing like it at all.

Speaking: Tans are a pain in the ass. I think I'll stay second-best.

Eva: That chance went out the window the moment they took their first breaths.

Rahul: I fucking love this comment.

Ann: hint: not green.

Sarah Elizabeth said...

I'm aroused.

Again.

Miss Nikki said...

Something is wrong with me. I saw that and in my head interpreted it as "end" then it dawned on me it kinda is end but more as in "insert end here" and your boss sounds mean.

ツ my cyber house rules

Jen said...

I just wet my pants again.

I was thinking that this looks like a really fun game for the whole family. And then I scrolled down and I promise you I will be getting this game today to try to make some kind of picture because that sounds like even more fun.

The Empress said...

moooog moooog moooog.

you are eternally a 15 yr old boy.

Miss Yvonne said...

So I was all "caitalized e, small n....what's that last letter? I don't get it.

And then 5 minutes later I figured it out.

It's okay, go ahead and feel sorry for my husband.

Miss Yvonne said...

damn it, I meant capitalized. Stupid iPhone.

Jay Ferris said...

Next up: Lite-Brite human centipede.

J.J. in L.A. said...

My man would love playing that last game.

Vodka Logic said...

How do you manage to keep your job?

ThePittsofBeingPeachy said...

Dear Rod This is the Red Headed Alliance of Brain Damaged chicks and we are hereby serving you with a restraining order that prohibits you from using more than 5- five words in 1 post we have to google. Unless it's in a dictionary type post where you literally have hieroglyphics and stuff. Because we already live in the south and feel stupid enough. Shit did I just give it away I am the only member. Shut up. I have more stuff to google now. Also had image search on thanks. now I have barf to clean up.

Magical M said...

and yet... all I can think is "HOLY SHIT, that dick can't POSSIBLY go in her mouth because it's TOO. BIG. I mean, it's the FULL LENGTH of her head." Wait... that is a woman, right? I don't see a peen at the bottom...
and THEN my next thought was "interracial threesome!!"
and then I was scared... because the female's torso is only 5 cubes long and the penis coming at her from behind is 2 cubes long and...
Ow?

And yet, I'm strangely horny now...

Vinny C said...

I was actually able to see right away what it was. Does that mean I have a very complex mind or very perverted one?

Justus Steel said...

Great picture.

pengboo said...

Just great! My kids got the same game for Christmas. Now I will never be able to play it again with them without embarrassment but I bet I can get hubby to play!!

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

OMG I LOVE this post!! LMAO - my kids got this game for Christmas too and now everytime I play it I am going to be thinking of the picture you made. I will be grinning from ear to ear with something sexy on my mind!! ha ha ha! That is hilarious!!

TOO FUNNY!! I will probably go get out the board now and try to duplicate what you did. Or try to make an orgy out of the pieces or something. ha ha ha

A Vapid Blonde said...

You have made many of your readers urinate on them selves with this post. So I think you are pretty much a genius.

I'm hoping that you put the game back exactly as it was when you finished making your doggie porn. Because the thing in the middle looks like a dog to me.

It's a good thing I don't have kids only dogs. Which may be why I see the middle thing as dog. And now I sound like a freak.

A Vapid Blonde said...

Oh and I did look up concatenated.

I thought you had mispelled concentrated. It makes sense to me.

meleah rebeccah said...

Im with Elly Lou. I'd love to see what you can do with a a Light Brite!

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