Cupid in da Hood | Mental Poo

Friday, February 18, 2011

Cupid in da Hood

Even though I'm divorced, my ex-wife and I are still friends which is good because this means that she still sends me crap that she gets from students and their parents at the inner-city school where she teaches.

It's all about the blog, people.

This Valentine's Day was no different.

This is the first picture/text message I get on Monday from her:

"Well. First time for one of these as a Valentine's Day gift"



NICE.

This is one of those cellophane-wrapped fruit trays you get at the grocery store when you don't have much money but know you're supposed to give your kids fruit at some point this month and child-protective services keeps telling you that "gum is not a fruit even if it IS watermelon flavored."

Granted. It was a very nice gesture from someone who didn't have much money but wanted to get my ex-wife something...

...but it's funny to see what they come up with.

"Happy Valentine's Day! Here. It's a pear."

Then, I get this:

"Look what one of my kids used as envelopes to put her valentines in."


Kid at school: "Here you go! Happy Valentine's Day!!"

Mom at home: "Has anyone seen my court summons?"

Awesome.

The kid needed envelopes so, VOILA! Pretty envelopes that are even a romantic color!

Well, they DO say necessity is the mother of invention.

Hopefully the parent can invent a way to get out of going to jail for not paying these fines.

31 comments:

Jewels said...

Almost nothing surprises me as I also taught for a number of years and saw some pretty special gifts...but those parking violation envelopes are hilarious! Hopefully one of the parents was a meter maid...otherwise...well it doesn't bode well for that kid. (yes I know that's lame and I could have gone a lot of placed with that but I had a bit of insomnia last night and got 3 hours of sleep...grr...but don't worry about me...I used it to write smut for my blog...so it's a win for my readers but a bitch for the kids I have to go nanny for...cause Jewels is bitchy...and rambling)

Have a great day.

The Barreness said...

What?? They're pink, for Chrissake.

Ingenious if you ask me.

Fecking picky ass...

Mrsblogalot said...

Damn! Why didn't they didn't make violation notices in pink when I was a kid?

Newspaper gets old.

ryoko861 said...

Hey, it's recycling at it's best here! Can't blame the kid. At least it was pink for Valentines Day.

Dorn said...

Did she get that fruit basket from a kid? Hell, more than generous compared to the normal threats of violence she probably receives. Count your blessings and watch your back!

Kage said...

yet another advertisement for birth control, if you ask me.

wretched little thief! mummy needs her court summons, god damn it.

Dazee Dreamer said...

OMG. I loved the valentines on the summons. :)

Ed said...

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BANANA!

I think she's trying to make you jealous.

Laura said...

Priceless.

Didn't know there were inner cities in NH

Opto-Mom said...

{Sigh} I'm totally jealous that I didn't get a fruit basket like that.

By the way, you should totally have the Incredible Hulk read all of the valentines!!

Christina_the_wench said...

I think the violation notices are a cry for help. She knows Mommy is going to jail soon. Special.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Brutalism said...

Please. That parent is just trying to liven up an otherwise boring school party for the teachers by letting their kid use those envelopes.

Someone I know used to put a little paper drink umbrella in their urine sample before passing it through that little door every time they went to their OB/GYN for their pregnancy checkups. Same concept.

laughingmom said...

Not sure if I should laugh or cry - sorry, laughter won!

Mandy's Kidding said...

That is so sweet. I got so many candles as a teacher that I could have opened my own Candle Emporium.

Kev D. said...

That fruit looks like it was taken out of a dumpster.

Knight said...

What a thrifty child.

I love the idea of Valentines as a threat.

"Violation Notice. You will abide by my parking laws and I say PARK HERE *points to crotch*. See you in detention."

The Sweetest said...

You can't really say that you've seen it all until you become a school teacher. When I graduated college I taught 6th grade science. I am still recovering.

erin said...

Ahhhh! I'm going to start sending my kids' teachers random notes written on condom wrappers and over due bills.

Eva Gallant said...

Well, at least the envelopes were pink! And you should never look a gift basket of fruit in the mouth...or something like that!

Tricia said...

That? Is priceless!

Daniel White said...

I've seen the Lawrence one before in real life, since I live close to Lawrence. :P

A Vapid Blonde said...

Oh Happy VD, here's your Fucking Banana.

Haaa haaa haaa, get it?

PBJdreamer said...

I found you through Kris

Will you help me with my dating profile?


I love you....I mean your BLOG

I love your bloooooooooog35


that is all

I'm Jane said...

Reminds me of the fruit basket in A Christmas Story.

Malach the Merciless said...

You call Lawrence the Inner city?

The Empress said...

You are so mature that you have such an amicable divorce.

This is why I am so surprised that you missed our one year anniversary.

Yes, the bus stop post, was where i met you..

I can't believe it.

All day I've been sitting on twitter awaiting tweetfloralbouqets.

I'll live..

Hey,,,thanks for RT and assisting Suzy. I hope things get better soon.

xo

Dr. Cynicism said...

HAhaha... that's great. Might she expect her next parent-to-teacher letter being written on the back of a Jerry Springer application?

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Wow. I have no words.

Margaret (Nanny Goats) said...

awe. some.

that is all.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day.

Sandra said...

You are a comedic genius! You are going to shoot to the stars, I can feel it. I am sitting here wiping tears of laughter from my face...Happy Valentines Day, here's a pear!!! Even as I type this I'm hysterical with laughter. Someone slap me!

Pearl said...

A fruit basket.

I used to ride with a motorcycle club, and the "fruit basket" looked nothing like that (although it did look a bit like a banana and a couple of, um, plums).

Good times.

Pearl

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