MYSTERY SOLVED! How Charlie Sheen Makes his Tweets | Mental Poo

Monday, April 25, 2011

MYSTERY SOLVED! How Charlie Sheen Makes his Tweets

Thanks to The Bloggess, I spent the better part of a day doing this.

It's not what you think.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that my Tweets are kind of a mess, but this link right here will take your Tweets, mix them up, and come up with suggestions for your next one.

Results may vary.

Here are some of the ones they came up with for me. Admittedly, most of them sound like they're being delivered by Yoda, but whatever.

Enjoy:

*******************

I'm not sure if we have to brick because we're related or not related.

I should probably ask that psychiatrist.

YES.

Because if there's one place I get my inspiration from, it's a cartoon bird fascinated with pickles.

Okay.

This is starting to sound eerily similar to my Vicodin tweets.

If I DID have Sarah Jessica Parker, I can tell you that I would totally be hooking up with a time-travel laundry basket machine to undo that shit.

Every time I think of Ms. Pac-Man swallowing, I spill all over again.

This is not unusual.

I'm not sure what is the most addictive game ever, here.

Is it the one about weird shit on Friday, or the one where you try to keep Steven Spielberg from giving amazing blowjobs?

I wish these Tweets were clearer.

I would totally buy that shirt.

Between the shirt and this new venture, I'm totally making Southwest my official airline.

I'm sorry but I don't think ANY porn starring Ron Jeremy is actually God's will.

I think this Tweet is actually @StevenSpielberg.

The everyday conundrum:

Should I purchase this property or toss a load on my neighbor's whites?

That's right.

Just you wait.

In my defense, I AM really nice outside my biological children.

I can't speak to the Darth Maul thing, though. But I wouldn't put it past him. He IS kind of an asshole.

Talk about your up and down days!

Guy shits himself. There is clear evidence of this, obviously.

Then the guy runs into a vagina.

That's what we call a 'silver lining,' people.

WHOA. I'm not going to get myself too excited over this one.

Just because I qualify for the giant rubber band doesn't necessarily mean I'll get it.

So true.

Ugh.

That poor kid.

Best. Marathon. Ever.

Woops.

That one is actually just a regular Tweet. My apologies.

********************

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32 comments:

Mamaofms said...

Great post....and thank you for giving me yet another amusing activity to enable my denial of laundry.

The Simple Dude said...

Those are great - I started a post of my own based on that website too... it's very telling. In a disturbing kind of way.

SD
TheSimpleDude.com

C... said...

I think I have brain spasms now.

Christina_the_wench said...

Maybe this is some kind of Tweeting code that only cokehead freaks understand. Please, god, let that be it. It's Monday and it's rough enough without adding Crazy Charlie to the mix.

What were you thinking??

Opto-Mom said...

Could you PLEASE have the Hulk read some of these? That would be fascinating! I'm not sure I've ever heard the Hulk discuss masturbation and gynecologists...

The Empress said...

These have to be all yours, moooog. There's no twitter service.
Look at all the talk on masturbation.

Please.

Like you can fool us...

xo

(Oh, the please means exasperation, it is not a request for you to, you know..)

Put the KY down.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Mine came out all gibberish and I realized I said LOL way too often it made me cringe when I scrolled through my own. Yikes.

The one with you and Ms Pac-man? GOLD. It had me spill all over too...

The Onion said...

I did the same and it was fun!

http://alotoflayers.blogspot.com/2011/04/something-borrowed-something-half-assed.html

I didn't have a lot of Tweets, and many were work related; which actually made it kind of funnier.

Kev D. said...

JERSEY SHORE cast get this but it's still worth watching: Nothing spoils a bagel at Bazaar tonight.

PBJdreamer said...

these may be yours, but it really DOES make me understand why Charlie Sheen tweets like he does. Maybe his entire brain works this way?


that is all

SarcasmInAction said...

What's strange is how this totally gives a good glimpse into your mind.
Lots of spilling and swallowing.

Narm said...

You in a hamster? I think that one is supposed to be the other way around.

handflapper said...

Finally, Southwest steps up and does something to make airline travel more bearable.

Quirkyloon said...

But...

I AM nicer outside of my biological children.

Ha!

StephanieC said...

I tried this, too, but mine were very English-second-language-nonsensical... but not funny.

Quite enjoyed your quandry between buying real estate or tossing off in your neighbour`s laundry.

Always a hard choice.

Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?

_

The Sweetest said...

Okay, those SW airlines "tweets" are gold.

jack mehoff said...

there IS something magical about good times i was spilled all over while elisha starred in my head

A Vapid Blonde said...

That site kept me very very busy at work.

But dude you need to stop spilling your jizz all over the place.

Cognitive Dissenter said...

Steven Spielberg is amazing.

Buy the house.

Jess said...

I should know better than to drink coffee while reading your posts...but you got me once again, coffee every where.
Thanks. :)
Jess

Kickboxing Los Angeles said...

It all makes sense now! Or, at least it makes me laugh. I'm definitely going to have to try this tool out on my account. What better way to gain followers then to sound completely out of your mind? Charlie Sheen, you're a genius.

Jewels said...

Ohh wow...that is just special. Reading those made my head hurt but your comments made it all better!

Joshua said...

I laughed so hard I almost had premature astigmajism.

Thanks a lot.

notactuallygod said...

Some people will try anything.

meleah rebeccah said...

HA! I used that link and ended up wit this tweet:


HBO Renews 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' For An All Of Eternity. Facebook So It Blogging Blueprint Part II?


Not NEARLY as amusing as yours.

Vinny C said...

If I've learned nothing else from this, I've learned that Mrs. Pac-Man swallows & that's good enough for me.

AllTheBS said...

Now, how does one go about qualifying for a giant rubber band? I'm asking for a friend.

Jessica said...

Seriously I'm staying on your blog all day. I spit out my coffe at "talk about your up and down days."

Tonya said...

I almost threw up I was laughing so hard.

Obviously twitter is telling you that you are the chosen one to continue where Nietzsche's Ecce Homo left off.

Tonya said...

Also, I used the twitter helper, here is what it came up with:
So, it mommy. Ur going to get naked and he can do a loafer and don't know something similar - now!

I'm now worried Child Services will making a visit any day..

Dr. Cynicism said...

I'm going to start drinking until each of these makes perfect sense.

LilPixi said...

Those are so damn hilarious. I recently came across this tool, but have yet to read shit this funny.

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