One of my single, female regular readers and Twitter followers asked me to write them their very own Match.com profile after reading this post.
So, as part of my "Here to help initiative" as a responsible blog author..
*cue laugh track
In order to do this properly I had to look at her original profile which was, like, "I like my friends and having fun and drinking wine and apparently lulling you into a deep sleep" because when I woke up from reading it I had stubble.
Fine. It maybe wasn't that bad BUT being a guy and knowing what a guy looks for (boobs) and likes (sex) and wants in a woman (his penis)...
..I crafted this:
Holy great big mammaries, Batman!
I love the fact that her main profile photo basically says "dressing up for kinky shit isn't entirely out of the picture..*wink*" so I took it and created a catchphrase that basically says, "Hey. You there. Look at my breasts."
I think it works on several levels.
Well, one level actually..just in two great big happy bouncy parts.
Now the description:
Let the offers roll in, baby. Let the offers. Roll. In.
I'm just here to help.