I'm Here to Help, People - Long Lost Spam Mother Edition | Mental Poo

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

I'm Here to Help, People - Long Lost Spam Mother Edition

spam tweet
As part of my 'Here to Help' initiative, I do - from time to time - help out some of my readers who request my assistance in life-or-death matters.

This is not one of those.

I got an email from Amy at Madame Menu who is apparently a fan of my spam email replies.

Amy received a wonderful spam email and wanted me to reply to it for her.

DONE.

Here is the spam she received:


Nice.

This one kind of pissed me off a bit because I get the whole "I'm dying" bullshit part of the scam, but to use breast cancer as your exploited disease of choice is pretty shitty, even for Nigerian pirates pretending to be Irish nuns or something.

I think I just came up with my next Halloween costume.

I gave this to Amy to use as the response for the spam email:


Then Amy sent it but no reply as of yet.

Oh.

We probably shouldn't have waited two weeks to reply to it.

I think we missed our death window.

36 comments:

John said...

We need pictures of that Halloween costume.

And well done, Rodney - very well done :-)

Coffeypot said...

I think that if my doctor told me I would only live two weeks after MY NEXT surgery I would, first of all, not have the damn surgery and secondly, I would take the two million dollars and find me another goddamn doctor.

Pearl said...

:-)

I've been winning the lottery, apparently, in the U.K. lately. Wonder if I should reply?

Pearl

Christina_the_wench said...

And *sniff* on Mother's Day *sniff* Weekend to boot. How fitting and sentimental. *blows nose*

SarcasmInAction said...

I. Friggin. Love. It.
I hope I get spam someday.
If so, I'm gonna contact you.

If I don't ever get spam, that's okay.
I also don't ever get survival gear. (hint, hint)

Kev D. said...

'Cancer of the Breast' definitely sounds more serious than 'Breast Cancer'.

Makes me think of The Office when David Brent says "Cancer of them ol' testicles".

Lady Estrogen said...

That is AWESOME.
And I agree with Kev D. - Cancer of the Breast sounds way more serious.

Random fact: When my students used to badger me about what my first name was, I would often tell them Consuela.

Sarah said...

That's it! The next time I get a creative spammer, I'm coming to you for the response!

Thomas said...

This may be your best work yet, Moooooog.

Dazee Dreamer said...

DAmn, she was one lucky girl to have you answer her spam email. I need to become brave like you and send something back like that.

Eva Gallant said...

That was totally inspired! You may have outdone yourself.

Moooooog35 said...

John: Remind me in October! Thanks in advance.

Coffey: All good points. You should write some of these.

Pearl: ALWAYS reply. ALWAYS.

Christina: OMG OMG IT'S MOTHERS DAY WEEKEND?!?!

Shit.

Sarcasm: wtf..shit didn't arrive yet?!

I'm sorry about that..I'll find out wtf is going on.

Kev: It does, right? Everything sounds worse when you use formal English.

Lady: I have to agree with you..that was totally random.

Sarah: *curtsies

Thomas: REALLY? Honestly, that's a little f'ing depressing, dude.

Dazee: It doesn't take bravery, my dear. It just takes some free time and dead brain cells. YOU CAN DO IT!

Eva: Lady, I always do myself.

jack mehoff said...

"Here you are and IRISH no less! Bonjour!"

i'm fuckin dyin over here....

jack mehoff said...

*not from breast cancer though

Mrsblogalot said...

OMG! I am crying out of both of my good eyes over here!

That was beyond hysterical! And thanks in advance for my new spam forwarding address.

A Vapid Blonde said...

You should totally open a fake bank account, then a fake paypal and then just tell that stinkin' irish ho bag to paypal you the money.

And sorry that you mom's a stinkin' irish ho bag.

Or her mom.

laughingmom said...

Must be my bad memory - but I don't remember releasing the rights to my life story...hmmm...

Emma_ps said...

You may cause me to die laughing! In which case could all donations please be sent to my poor motherless children and I think only fitting the donkey sanctuary that's run by the Irish Nigerian Pirate Nuns(they are small little known order). Thank you

vickilikesfrogs said...

Do you think Consuela's irish mom would send me some money to replace the computer screen I just spewed coffee all over?

notactuallygod said...

The funniest/saddest part of this (depending on how full you glass is) is that you know they wouldn't still be trying these scams if they weren't still getting people with them on a regular basis.

Judging by the wide support Palin still has (despite her best efforts) there's still enough dupe-able folks out there to make it worth while.

pattypunker said...

as if the library ever let you in.

also giving her maise was far too charitable.

Vinny C said...

You may be just the person I need. Apparently, even though I've never been to the US, the FBI is seeking me in connection with some inheritance I never claimed from someone I never heard of. I'm not too familiar with all of the bureau's operations so I was surprised this fell under their portfolio. Advice?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

You have no idea how much I enjoyed that. No idea. It was THIS much. Thank you. :)

Rachele said...

Brilliant. I have one from a guy in NY telling me not to believe all the scammers from other countries who are holding my money. He would like to give me info on how to get it(my money) because, afterall, he is American and knows that the others are scams. Want to reply to that one?

Cognitive Dissenter said...

I'm afraid you're too late. I got this email also. Lilly Patrick is *my* mother and I've already sent her all my bank account information including passwords. The $2 mil will be deposited into my account any day now.

Suck on that.

So. Cal. Gal said...

I'm gonna make a habit of going through my Spam filter now. I'll get back to you if I find something good.

Misfit Mommy said...

Dammit! I just got something like this from China, I think. I'll be sure to keep the next one just for you...

Jeremy from We Took The Bait said...

I had more or less the same email, but it came from a woman dying of cancer in the UK. She's a few years older (69... heh heh heh... 69), and she's prepared to fork over 10 million.

So, Lily Patrick's kind of a cheapskate. Only two million? Whatever.

So, if you want to respond to the other spam mail, I can give you the good doctor's hotmail address.

meleah rebeccah said...

Nobody writes better replies to Spam Emails than you! I'm laughing so much!

Opto-Mom said...

Maybe she should get the hell out of Ireland for her healthcare...

Fresh Garden said...

Absolutely fantastic!
Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the visit. :)

KT said...

You know that 'Spambaiting' book? Did you write that? Fucking genius.

Salina said...

Great info! I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment and I just have to say awesome comments.... Now Foods

Minka said...

Man, those pirates don't stand a chance against you! That is some seriously funny shit.

hansi said...

That was great. I too like to play with Spam. Wonder if your replies are read??

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Oooh I loved that! I have lots of spam email that would love a reply. Would do me the honor??

Stopping by from Studio 30+ Spotlight. And glad I did!

Related Posts with Thumbnails