GET FORCE FACTOR AND GET BIG MUSCLES AND ONE TEENY TINY NOGGIN. | Mental Poo

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

GET FORCE FACTOR AND GET BIG MUSCLES AND ONE TEENY TINY NOGGIN.

Sometimes when I'm checking my email I'll see these ads on the edge of the page which I typically ignore but I haven't figured out how to ignore the 'SHOCKING MUSCLE PICTURE' ones like this:

dude wtf
Good Christ.

Listen. I like going to the gym as much as the next guy (read: not at all) but if I take a supplement to get more muscles that has the distinct side effect of etching the Van Halen Logo into my head, I'll have to say 'thank you but NO THANK YOU.'

van halen muscles

Oh, wait.

There's another..

..um..

..advertisement.


Dude.

Gross.

The last time I saw something like that it was when Bugs Bunny fought 'The Crusher.'


Oh.

There's one more picture of this guy in the ad..


Nice bean there, buddy..

I can see the bumper sticker now:

"Got teeny tiny disproportionate head?"

Let's actually make this a little more accurate:


There.

I actually had to rescale this guy's head at 130% so it didn't look like that guy in the waiting room in the movie Beetlejuice.


Of course, being an avid weightlifter, I'm always interested in new products so I decided to see what I'd look like if I gave in and took "Force Factor" myself.


Gah.

I think I'll stick with Muscle Milk.

My head is small enough as it is.

That one's free.

23 comments:

Ed said...

That "nesting" bicep is abnormal. Looks like the tendon might have ruptured, allowing it to roll up like a window shade. You're familiar with that.

The last guy looks like he needs some stool softener.

Christy said...

So gross!! And I love muscle milk! Have you had the cake batter flavor?? SO GOOD!

Narm said...

I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you about my Van Halen tattoo on my head...

Unknown said...

The muscle men are gross!

Christina_the_wench said...

And this look is suppose to attract women? Is that the goal here or is it to make them run screaming in terror because that's what I would totally do. And why the hell does his belly button stick out like that in the first picture? Just. Ew.

Luda said...

You owe me a new keyboard because I just projectile vomited all over mine.

Knight said...

I laughed so hard at this post. It was the nesting dolls that really threw me over the edge. I think you just gave me a new fetish for skinny long haired men (aka women).

Unknown said...

TWSS.
thanks for the freebie.

Moooooog35 said...

Ed: Actually mine didn't roll anywhere. I miss 'Crusher.'

Christy: I have not, but I like the chocolate and vanilla creme and are we getting paid for this?

Narm: ..because 'everybody wants some?'

Eva: Except for me, right?

RIGHT?!

Christina: You couldn't run because you wouldn't be able to escape his gravity.

Luda: Yeah. I'll get right on that.

TWSS.

Knight: SEND VIDEO.

Stacie: I'm here for you.

THE SARCASM GODDESS said...

I just puked all over myself. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I actually like the way body builders look.
All the guys in the post look pretty good to me.

Bobbi said...

I agree with Ed, it looks like his bicep tendon tore and rolled up. I've seen that before.

They all look gross. Except for the one of you, you'd look hot all jacked up like that!

pattypunker said...

everybody wants some - bwhahahaha!

E.M. said...

Really, who doesn't want Russian nesting doll arms? It attracts the ladies. Case in point:

http://www.fitbuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/muscular-men-get-more-girls.gif

Anonymous said...

Bugs Bunny: "Name?" "Shropshire Slasher." "Occupation?" "Shropshire Slasher." Large Louie

Shirley Ewe-Jest said...

I always love a post that starts off with nice head. Oh, I think the 'roids make all the heads tiny. :)

J.J. in L.A. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
So. Cal. Gal said...

What's even scarier are female body builders. The bigger the bicep, the smaller the boob.

Ruby Wildflower said...

I'd probably still give him one.

Diva's Thoughts said...

OK these pics scared me. lol

The Wannabe Housewife said...

The fact that there are men and women in this world that find that sort of thing attractive saddens me.

With all of those rippling arm muscles, he looks like he might have had to sacrifice a bit of flexibility. I wonder if he is still capable of wiping his own ass...

Opto-Mom said...

That last dude is so RED! Perhaps he should take less Force Factor and more Dulcolax.

I would totally skip this "gun show" (and I'm from Texas!)

Alexandra said...

That just makes me want to throw up.

Yuk, moooog....YUK.

Who wants that?

NO BODY.

Find someone who wants that and then do a post on them.

Because, who would want that.

If that came at me? I"d go running and screaming out of the room.

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