This is probably why no one guest posts for me much | Mental Poo

Monday, November 07, 2011

This is probably why no one guest posts for me much

If you write blogs then I'm sure every once in a while you'll get canned offers from people who want to guest post on your site about things that have nothing to do with what the Hell you're writing about.

Case in point, I received TWO - count 'em - TWO of these emails within the span of a couple of days.

Letter #1:


Ah, yes.

Because I'm sure the creator of 'PsychologyDegree.com' would feel comfortable writing a post on a web site that from a guy who put a sand dollar Jesus fetus ultrasound on Craigslist.

Actually that kind of makes sense now that I'm thinking about it.

Letter #2:


Again, I'm not sure who is giving these people information on what kind of blog they'd be writing for but I'm sure this woman who fights against Nursing Home Abuse wouldn't be pushing the guest post offer if she knew I really don't like old people very much.

That said, I couldn't decide on how to respond to both of these so I just did the 'two birds, one stone' thing.

My reply:


I haven't heard back yet from either of them.

I can only assume they're busy training. Or smuggling in poison frogs.

This is gonna be good.

21 comments:

SarcasmInAction said...

Thank goodness I didn't have to fight to the death to be a guest poster for you.
Although I TOTALLY would.
You are *that* awesome to guest post for.

Matt Conlon said...

So rude of them to have not answered back.

Christina_the_wench said...

This is your attempt at some girl on girl action, isn't it?

TheNextMartha said...

But they're going to "research" and give you a "unique article" I'd totally let them. And then make fun of it.

Ed said...

Amy is the CLEAR winner.

bow-chica-wow-wow

Pat said...

Maybe you oughta rethink that psychology chick guest post, cause you are nucking futs. And I mean that in a nice way. Sooooo, what are the voices in your head telling you today?

Eva Gallant said...

Clearly these ladies will be dying to guest post on your blog. How could they say "no" to such a request?

* The MOM said...

Should've said "Jello wrestling" and I'd bet they would have gotten back to you by now. I know I would have.

Coffeypot said...

Amy...I'd do her (but since she will probably take out a restraining order today I guess I had better not try). And NOPE! No one has asked me to guest post on their blog and no one has asked to guest post on mine. I guess they figure, 'Leave well enough alone' is the best thing as far as I am concerned.

meleah rebeccah said...

I can't believe they haven't gotten back to you yet. How rude! I think if you had used 'The MOM's' suggestion and offered up Jello Wrestling you might have received a reply.

Because really, who turns down the opportunity to wrestle in jello?

Miss Yvonne said...

Dude. You should have asked for a naked jello wrestling death match instead.

Moooooog35 said...

Sarcasm: THERE'S STILL TIME!

Matt: I know. The least they could have done was send clearer pictures.

Christina: Everything I do is an attempt at some girl-on-girl action.

NextMartha: Well that's just plain cruel.

Ed: I agree. And we have the best imaginary sex ever.

Pat: Oh..you really don't want to know.

Eva: HOW COULD *ANY* WOMAN?!

MOM: Jell-O wrestling at 9:00 pm sharp at my place on Friday.* BE THERE.

*it will just be me

Coffey: I'll guest post on your blog.

What's the pay rate?

Meleah: You did. Last Saturday night. REMEMBER?!

Yvonne: That seems to be the consensus.

Hindsight sucks.

Chris said...

Is that the same @AmyShoe that follows me on Twitter?

Your solution is a wise one, but I feel the need for you to specifically reserve the right to have final say on any outfits your two gladiatorettes plan to wear. In this situation, full body armor would be bullshit.

I'd bet on Patty winning because she'd have the psychological edge.

karensomethingorother said...

freaks! Overambitious freaks, I say! Why don't they just say "hi, nobody will read me on my blog, but lotsa peeps read yours, so can I get in on that?"

Bah. Maybe I'm too cranky. Sinuses are wicked packed.

Doug Stephens said...

I think by "guest post" they meant "fuck." Any way you want.

Chicks don't ever offer to "guest post" me. Asshole.

Rebecca said...

That is so funny. I loved your response. I wonder if they will fight for you?

Steve Bailey said...

@ Doug Stephens.... hahaha!!! Why not a threeway post?

Shawn said...

I really had no intention of guest posting on your blog. But if it involves wrestling, I think I can take on Amy and Patricia.

lifeintheboomerlane said...

I think you have a real opportunity here. Depending on the physical attributes a person has, you can require either naked mud wrestling or just a large guest blogger fee. Or a really, really large guest blogger fee. I wish I had people who wanted to guest on my blog. I would tell them to buy me chocolate covered pretzels. I have a serious lack of imagination.

Pearl said...

I get these as well, and cannot believe that they're not sincere in their desire for my work.

:-)

Pearl

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

Oh man, I was just about to write a gladiator-style fight to the death survival strategies, tactics, sexual positions blog post. I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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