Your Call is Very Important to Us... Unless You Have an Accent | Mental Poo

Monday, February 27, 2012

Your Call is Very Important to Us... Unless You Have an Accent


A lot of people ask me what I actually do for work.

This, sadly, also includes my boss.

Although I don't do it any more, I was a Technical Support Representative in the Internet Security industry for years and years and, as such, have build a deep disdain for most bipedal things who can't read a goddamn manual.

I know a lot of you people out there hate calling Technical Support lines and I can pretty much assure you that we hate getting your calls just as much.

That said, I came up with a flowchart showing you the behind-the-scenes process of answering your stupid phone calls.

Enjoy.

(click to enlarge image in a new window)


Your goal as a customer is to get your shit fixed.

The tech support guy's goal is to get you off our damn phone because, in all likelihood, our friend just sent us another video.

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For more helpful work tips, click here.

You're welcome.

13 comments:

jack mehoff said...

so what you're saying is the next time i call you fuckers for help i need to sound like hank azaria doing apu?

Leauxra said...

Looks about right. I did tech support for years. They eventually figured out that I really shouldn't talk to anyone and gave me an email job.

Christina_the_wench said...

So not all tech support people are Indian? The hell you say! I call BS.

NellieVaughn said...

Sooooo, tech support hate the people, and the people hate tech support?

meleah rebeccah said...

crinkling a piece of paper and saying bad connection before hanging up is my favorite idea.

Brett Minor said...

I did tech support for a while at a cell phone company. Because I was efficient, made the customers happy and got them off the phone in record time, they funneled more calls my way. That was the last thing I wanted. I did it that way to get off the phone, not so I could take another call.

Carrie's Rambles said...

Can I print that flow chart and hang it on my desk, I would hate to help a customer by mistake.

Knight said...

I'm sorry I forgot to mention you! I'll make it up to you with a public love letter mmkay?

handflapper said...

I didn't realize helping the customer was even an option. I have not had that experience. Your boss should give you a raise. Or a parking spot with your name on it.

Britt said...

Funny.
I'd say that's exactly how it feels when I call for tech support... so I'm glad that you laid it out so nicely.

I'd also like to dispute that I work in customer service and the men are often the biggest dicks, while the women are more forgiving and patient.
It's sort of a give and take, though... I've decided that everyone pretty much fucking sucks.

Simone Says... said...

best chart possibly ever.

i'm a big fan of pawn it off on someone else.

Paula@lkg4sweetspot said...

I knew that bad connection thing was a ruse...

SarcasticTestGuy said...

That explains *so* much. Thanks for the guide!

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