How I Surmise My Employment Here Will End... | Mental Poo

Monday, April 09, 2012

How I Surmise My Employment Here Will End...

I was working on a post the other day which means I was doing it during "normal business hours" and, as typical, decided to create a picture for said post when I noticed this in the sidebar of my Microsoft Paint* program.

*used by amateurs to make shitty looking pictures since whenever it was invented


Yes.

There on my 'most recent pictures' list is a listing of pictures that I'd done for other posts that may or may not have even been posted yet.

Shout out here to the miracle of time travel.

My favorite drawing name, by far, is 'hysterical vibrator.'

Personally I don't even remember wtf that was but it sounds hilariously sexy.

Then I realized that OH SHIT I never really delete any of this crap after I make it ON MY WORK COMPUTER, WTF AM I THINKING...so I figured I'd take a look in the 'my blog' folder on my laptop just to um..

..see..




I love looking at these without the preview because I do so many of these I don't remember what they are.

Even though there are obviously self-explanatory ones like, "apartment pickles," "social worker possessed baby" and - my personal favorite - "sleestak whoopi goldberg urinal cake," there's almost something magical about seeing something named "vagina slipper picture," "Jesus the other white meat" and ""wtf is going on in my shower" because they take on a WHOLE new meaning when you can let your imagination run away with it.

I also love the fact that three of my pictures begin with "I HATE.."

I'm guessing it's those that are keeping the IT Department at arms' length because if you're on the fence about the mental stability of someone who has a file regarding a urinal cake that looks like a cross between a Sleestak from "Land of the Lost" and Whoopi Goldberg (redundant?)..then the multiple "I HATE.." pics will probably seal it for you.

Phew.

16 comments:

Random Girl said...

They may keep you around just to see what you come up with next...

Fadderly said...

LOL!!! my work PC looks very similar at times. i keep waiting for the "call into the office"...

GrandeMocha said...

I Googled pics of Bert & Ernie once at work and found out people like to make their Bert & Ernie dolls do things Sesame Street never intended. I thought that might be my last day.

jack mehoff said...

woodpecker looking at soul catcher....woodpeckers have souls?

Travis Sloat said...

Stumbleupon is actually probably going to be the reason I get fired. I just can't seem to make it quit popping up pictures of tattooed topless ladies. DON'T TELL ME HOW TO MAKE IT STOP!

chemgirljaime said...

now I really wanna see those pictures... I've only drawn one picture for my blog... Super Vagina.... basically a vagina with a cape... it's pretty awesomesauce.

Sweety Darlin said...

Well I am glad that I save all my personal stuff on that memory stick I take home nightly and have everything set to clear histories etc. nightly.

We all hope that your posting about your personal adventures on your work computer doesn't result in an unpleasant meeting.

www.sweetydarlin.blogspot.com

Big Mama Cass said...

I don't even know how to comment on your posts anymore. I can't formulate thoughts while I am laughing like a stoned hyena.

meleah rebeccah said...

too funny!

Steve Bailey said...

I totally know what you were looking for with "my arm resized!" Trying to get a smaller one to make holding certain things look bigger!! Am I right???
I searched it too...

Carey said...

I'm in tears here. I just got home from a grueling day at work, and I SO needed this laugh. You are hysterical. I'm particularly curious about 'garglegoyles' and 'my scar tasteful ladybugs'. So funny!

NellieVaughn said...

Please explain what 'red bull scooter asshole' is all about. :)

Eva Gallant said...

Again, I marvel that you are still employed.

Brett Minor said...

There were a lot of files in there that I would like to see the finished pictures of.

kathcom said...

I think you might have some splaining to do to H.R. On the bright side, they're probably not devious enough (or don't know how) to check. Although "Jesus the other white meat" makes me gnash my teeth that I didn't think of it myself, the one I'm most curious about is "my arm resized"--it's so poetic!

ClevelandPoet said...

I think you should pitch Gangsta Spider-Man to Marvel to be their next alternate universe title.

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