Red Bull Gives you (scene of unimaginable violence) | Mental Poo

Monday, September 03, 2012

Red Bull Gives you (scene of unimaginable violence)

Was in the cafeteria at work getting my fifth cup of hazelnut coffee with two Splenda and half-n-half when OMG I JUST REALIZED I'M GAY.

Sorry.

Was in the cafeteria getting my (insert manly type of coffee here) when I noticed this poster:

red bull scooter asshole
Red Bull: Recharge Wednesday!

Really?

This is supposed to get me to want to drink Red Bull so I recharge and then next thing I know I'm a 40-year old man riding a Razor scooter with my tie flung over my shoulder going "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" through the hallways while wearing an expression like I just got my report card and I DIDN'T flunk remedial English?

Because all I want to do when I see this poster is to run up and shank this guy in the kidney with a homemade shiv.


There. That's better.

Because, seriously....

If you're this happy at work, take the day off asshole because you're making the rest of us miserable people look bad.

Happy Monday.

7 comments:

Paula Wooters said...

Ah, Moooooog... you're always such a breath of fresh air!

Eva Gallant said...

You have a valid point; get those happy campers out of the workplace now!

Carrie Rambles said...

Happy workplace people should be shot. Everyone should be miserable.

TheNextMartha said...

And the guy who designed that poster has a JOB in this economy. That's what is wrong with America.

NellieVaughn said...

He's the boss. Of course he is happy. He doesn't actually have to work.

Knight said...

I have a shiv taped under my desk if you need it.

Simone DeBlasio said...

oh, you make me laugh. i love the land shark.

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