I'm Going to Kill my Daughter | Mental Poo

Thursday, September 19, 2013

I'm Going to Kill my Daughter

I love cookies.

I love my daughter.

My daughter loves cookies.

My daughter loves to torture me.

I know this because I opened my cabinet to get myself some delicious Oreo Cookies the other day.

Mmmmm. Oreos.

I LOVE OREOS.

Sadly, so does my daughter. But the big difference between the two of us is that while I love the entire delicious Oreo Cookie, my daughter likes pretty much just the creme part of it.

Which is why I opened the pack of Oreos to find this:

I'm going to kill her.

My daughter had deftly scraped all the insides out of the Oreos and THEN just put the tops and bottoms back, leaving me with 20 empty Oreo shells. It was Geraldo finding that safe and then opening it up and THERE WAS NOTHING IN IT so thanks for wasting my time, Geraldo.

I was not happy. I texted her:

Yep. She was getting braces in 3 days.

No more Oreos for her or, really, anything deliciously crunchy.

She can still eat the creme, though.

Sonofabitch.

7 comments:

Agent 54 said...

That's just not right.

Never mess with a man's Oreos.

Anonymous said...

If my kid did that, she'd be fatally killed!!

Jen said...

That's grounds for a beating.

Moonrayvenne said...

That is just so wrong!!! You must torture the child first...then kill her ;)

Unknown said...

Time to write up your will and cut her out of her inheritance. Unless, she replaces those Oreos ASAP!

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

This is why I lock up my cookies in a safe. It's better for everyone that way.

Unknown said...

Bahahahhaa...now that's funny shit

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