You know you wanna...

Before I get to writing my new post, just wanted to let you all know that the pre-sale for my upcoming book, "Romantic as Hell" will be going on VERY VERY shortly!!

If you're interested in getting an advanced copy of the PDF (unfinished) and would like to give it a review on your website/blog, you can sign up by clicking this link:

CLICK THIS LINK AND BECOME IMMORTAL*

*immortality totally not guaranteed, FYI

FYI, by going there and signing up, you'll get a sneak peek at the cover of the book and, I have to tell you, it's pretty fucking phenomenal. Probably because I didn't make it this time.

Hope to see you there! If you know anyone that does book reviews or would also like a copy for their blog, please share the link!

Stay tuned for an upcoming real post.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled whatever.

My First Book Signing and the worst moment in history

A couple of weeks ago, my kids and I attended my first-ever 'Author's Night' sponsored by a New England Publishing House.

I've never done a book signing or anything - mainly because all my books are sold via Amazon - but I signed up for this one because (a) it was local and (b) it was cheap and (c) I had some extra books lying around.

Long story short, here are some highlights of the night which are actually kind of like lowlights.

1) Not my Venue

If you've read either one of my books or - you know - even this blog, you understand that my humor is a bit, well, less-than-clean.

This is when we pulled up to the establishment for the book signing and I looked up and saw this:

Ah, shit.

The place is a winery and vineyard, and the entire building was lit up with ornate lighting and it was very classy looking.

I put the 'ass' in 'class' so I pretty much felt this was going to be a shitshow right from the first moment my front tires hit the parking lot.

2) SO MANY OLD PEOPLE

My kids and I arrived late, so we got a really shitty table, but set up as fast as we could and waited for the crowds to arrive.

Which they did. Via walkers and nurses aids and I'm pretty sure I saw the guy from "Weekend at Bernie's."

Yeah. My book will go over well here.

3) My kids, the salesmen

About halfway through the night I realized my 13-year old daughter had gone missing.

I found her canoodling at every single author's table. Sitting WITH them..talking to them..bothering them, etc.

She was excited and having a great time.

My son?

My son stayed with me trying to hock my books to elderly people who were scorning me. This, even though my boy had put on a fake mustached and was doing his best carnival voice of "STEP RIGHT UP" with a hint of Italian accent trying to get people to buy my crap.

Near the end of the night, I had them walking around the building holding signs like sandwich boards. I will stop at nothing to humiliate my children in the name of money.

4) One of the worst moments of my life

During the evening, people would stop by. Pick up the books, thumb through them..talk to me about them, etc. etc. The problem with this is that my books generally carry a PG-13 to R rating and maybe even sometimes NC-17 depending on the chapter.

So, as I was standing there with my son. Two little old women meandered over and grabbed up my first book, "Things Go Wrong for Me."

And there I stood, in horror, as they opened it RIGHT TO THIS PAGE in my 'spamming the spammers' chapter:

Yep.

I think they 'I will put this in your ass' caption was really going to hook them into fully funding my next book project.

I watched them open to this page - in slow-motion terror - and ultimately had to just, TURN AROUND. I couldn't bear the look on their face.

When I gathered enough muster, I turned back around.

They were gone.

Shocker.

Ha. Shocker.

Something else I'll put in your ass.

I'm like Wolfman Jack but less hairy and not dead

I've had some pretty awesome responses to my book thus far, but none more awesome than my first appearances on radio shows this past month.

SIN CITY

For my first radio appearance, I was invited to be a guest "The Curvaceous Bounty of Sin City" show after I asked them if I could come on.

So I guess it was less 'invited' and more 'forced entry.'

Actually, one of my LONG TIME readers is a co-host of the show (Sienna) and she booked me and then the rest was radio gold/history.

Here is YouTube video of one of my segments - I show up on or around the 34-minute mark:


If I ever get around to getting to Vegas I will TOTALLY be making a visit to the studios and am fearful/hopeful that I will become a plaything.

THE BRAWDS

A week later, I did a show with the women "Jenny K" and "Butt Rock Betty" (no idea) of "The Brawdcast."

The kept me on WAAAAY longer than they should have but we were having such a great frigging time doing the spot that I don't think any of us actually gave a shit.

There is no video of the show which is unfortunate because we were doing video Skype and I can tell you that the women are as hot as they are filthy...

...but there is THIS PODCAST that you can listen to. I come in at or around the 20-minute mark and stay well past my welcome.



But, if you can handle me talking about dildos and penis extenders and riding in the back of a dump truck, I think you'll enjoy it.

********************

PLEASE give these wonderful women some love and linkage by friending them and following them and liking them all over the place (especially THERE).

Sin City Bounty links:

- Website
- Facebook
- Twitter

The Brawdcast links:

- Website
- Podcasts
- Twitter
- Facebook Page 1 or Facebook Page 2

It's So Fuzzy! So behold the EMPRESS: The "Things Go Wrong for Me" Book Blogging Tour - Day 5

Before I start today, just some quotes taken from the back of my book:

Woo!

David Beach is an actor/comedian from LA, and Kevin Barbare is a VERY well-known Boston radio personality.

I'm humbled to have them both quoted on the cover of my book, and extremely pleased that they both loved it.

You will too!!

Well, my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" went on sale last Friday, December 14th.

As of right now, it has surpassed BOTH "The DaVinci Code" and "The King James Bible" in Amazon.com sales.

One of those two previous sentences is total bullshit.

To help celebrate the release of my book, several bloggers agreed to read, review and interview me to help get the ball rolling during my first full week of book sales. None of these people were compensated for this in any way, shape or form. They're just helping me out out of the kindness of their hearts.

They are probably pissed about this.

Book Blogging Tour - Day 5

Today's participants in the Blogging Tour are:

Good Day Regular People - let me tell you something about 'The Empress.' She is awesome AND it's people like her that keep me writing. True story.

It's So FUZZY! - You can't go wrong with a blog name like THAT.

Momma Mia, Mea Culpa - Meleah has, in true fan fashion, done a great review that includes my video book trailer!!

Go check out to see what they have to say about my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me!"

Also, make sure you check out all the OTHER participants in this week's book blogging tour!! I can't thank you guys enough!!

"Things Go Wrong for Me" Ordering Info:

"Things Go Wrong for Me" is available at:

Amazon: http://bit.ly/12o6h8N

Amazon (Kindle Version): http://bit.ly/ZpoiVk

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/UIgJBw

RCG Publishing: http://www.rcgpublishing.com

Going to RCG Publishing will give you links to all the books PLUS the option to get an AUTOGRAPHED copy!!

Mommy Memoirs, Keys, Jewels and a Cafe: The "Things Go Wrong for Me" Book Blogging Tour - Day 4

Before I start today, just a quote taken from the back of my book:

That's actress/comedienne Suzy Soro from the blog, "Where Hot Comes to Die" and ALSO now an author as well of "Celebrity Stalker," also released on Friday.

So, you know, after you read MY book, go get hers. In that order. Thanks in advance.

She is a friggin riot, though. You won't be disappointed.

Well, my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" went on sale last Friday, December 14th.

As of right now, it has surpassed BOTH "The DaVinci Code" and "The King James Bible" in Amazon.com sales.

One of those two previous sentences is total bullshit.

To help celebrate the release of my book, several bloggers agreed to read, review and interview me to help get the ball rolling during my first full week of book sales. None of these people were compensated for this in any way, shape or form. They're just helping me out out of the kindness of their hearts.

They are probably pissed about this.

Book Blogging Tour - Day 4

Today's participants in the Blogging Tour are:

Houston Keys - this guy always always gives as good as he gets, especially when it comes to commenting on my Facebook page.

Jewels at According to Jewels - Jewels and I have known each other a while from Studio 30 Plus, According to Jewels and also over at The IndieChicks.

Alura's Crossworld's Cafe - The second of Ms Darkstar's blogs with reviews and humor so this kind of fits right the fuck in. I'm doing an interview with her over there today!!

Mommy Memoirs - I met Nina while trying to woo her ex-husband, a Boston radio personality, who is actually quoted on the back of my book. Also? She's hot. So there's that.

Go check out to see what they have to say about my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me!"

DON'T FORGET to read the participants and great interviews from Monday, Tuesday and
Wednesday!

"Things Go Wrong for Me" Ordering Info:

"Things Go Wrong for Me" is available at:

Amazon: http://bit.ly/12o6h8N

Amazon (Kindle Version): http://bit.ly/ZpoiVk

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/UIgJBw

RCG Publishing: http://www.rcgpublishing.com

Going to RCG Publishing will give you links to all the books PLUS the option to get an AUTOGRAPHED copy!!

Adminderella and Going like Sixty as Carrie Rambles on Ed's Funny Pages: The "Things Go Wrong for Me" Book Blogging Tour - Day 3

Before I start today, just want to give you an actual quote taken from the back cover of my book:

Yep.

That's super popular blogger and writer, Margaret Andrews from "Nanny Goats in Panties".

Margaret actually participated in yesterday's Blog Tour by posting an awesome interview with me that you can find here.

Well, my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" went on sale last Friday, December 14th.

As of right now, it has surpassed BOTH "The DaVinci Code" and "The King James Bible" in Amazon.com sales.

One of those two previous sentences is total bullshit.

To help celebrate the release of my book, several bloggers agreed to read, review and interview me to help get the ball rolling during my first full week of book sales. None of these people were compensated for this in any way, shape or form. They're just helping me out out of the kindness of their hearts.

They are probably pissed about this.

Book Blogging Tour - Day 3

Today's participants in the Blogging Tour are:

Adminderella - a great interview with me that involves me talking about sex toys.

Chris DeVoss - FIRST, Chris did an amazing interview with me on Monday that involved me on a polo horse (just read it) and NOW he's doing an even more AMAZING book review.

Going Like Sixty - Mark has been a faithful follower and reader of mine for a looong time. He pulls through once again!

Carrie Rambles - Carrie is really cute and has been a great friend and staunch supporter of me, my blog, and the book. I constantly beat her at Words with Friends. Just throwing that out there.

Ed's Funny Pages - Ed is a good friend and kind of an arch-nemesis of mine. Of course, he skewers me all over the place on this one.

You can see Monday's blog tour and Tuesday's as well.

So go check out to see what they have to say about my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me!"

"Things Go Wrong for Me" Ordering Info:

"Things Go Wrong for Me" is available at:

Amazon: http://bit.ly/12o6h8N

Amazon (Kindle Version): http://bit.ly/ZpoiVk

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/UIgJBw

RCG Publishing: http://www.rcgpublishing.com

Going to RCG Publishing will give you links to all the books PLUS the option to get an AUTOGRAPHED copy!!

A Nanny Goat and a Surfer Wife read a Brutalism book: The "Things Go Wrong for Me" Book Blogging Tour - Day 2

Before I start today, just want to give you an actual quote taken from the back cover of my book:

Of course that is Jenny Lawson, aka, "The Bloggess."

Yes. The Bloggess thought my book was 'wonderfully hilarious.'

Also?

I received an email from her on Friday that she bought the hard copy of the book.

*passes out

That, people? That's some serious validation right there.

So, happy.

Well, my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" went on sale last Friday, December 14th.

As of right now, it has surpassed BOTH "The DaVinci Code" and "The King James Bible" in Amazon.com sales.

One of those two previous sentences is total bullshit.

To help celebrate the release of my book, several bloggers agreed to read, review and interview me to help get the ball rolling during my first full week of book sales. None of these people were compensated for this in any way, shape or form. They're just helping me out out of the kindness of their hearts.

They are probably pissed about this.

Book Blogging Tour - Day 2

Today's participants in the Blogging Tour are:

Margaret Andrews of "Nanny Goats in Panties" - I was VERY excited to have Margaret on board for this, and she seemed very excited to do it. Great, great lady.

Monique - aka, "A Day in the Life of SurferWife" - Monique is frigging AMAZING and SOLELY responsible for getting THE super hot and very funny Jenny McCarthy to put a quote on my book about how hilarious it is. I honestly have no words to thank her enough.

Brutalism - I LOVE this chick.

Go check out to see what they have to say about my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me!"

Don't forget to check out Day 1 of the Book Blogging Tour, as well!! Some GREAT interviews and reviews!!

"Things Go Wrong for Me" Ordering Info:

"Things Go Wrong for Me" is available at:

Amazon: http://bit.ly/12o6h8N

Amazon (Kindle Version): http://bit.ly/ZpoiVk

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/UIgJBw

RCG Publishing: http://www.rcgpublishing.com

Going to RCG Publishing will give you links to all the books PLUS the option to get an AUTOGRAPHED copy!!

A DeVoss walks into a Fadderly and a Mea Culpa breaks out: The "Things Go Wrong for Me" Book Blogging Tour - Day 1

Before I start today, let me give you a quote about my book taken right from the back:

Yes.

That's THE Jenny McCarthy.

Reading MY book.

And calling it 'hysterical.'

Holy crap.

Well, my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" went on sale last Friday, December 14th.

As of right now, it has surpassed BOTH "The DaVinci Code" and "The King James Bible" in Amazon.com sales.

One of those two previous sentences is total bullshit.

To help celebrate the release of my book, several bloggers agreed to read, review and interview me to help get the ball rolling during my first full week of book sales. None of these people were compensated for this in any way, shape or form. They're just helping me out out of the kindness of their hearts.

They are probably pissed about this.

Book Blogging Tour - Day 1

Today's participants in the Blogging Tour are:

Christopher DeVoss - not only did he read the proof of the book, but we did an 'on the fly' interview as well. It's not pretty.

Momma Mia, Mea Culpa - Meleah has been one of my most ardent fans from since forever ago and, once again, she ROCKS.

The Fadderly - Jesse posts a "discussion" of my book on his blog, so head on over and feel free to discuss his finer points in the review. Awesome!!

Go check out to see what they have to say about my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me!"

Ordering Info:

"Things Go Wrong for Me" is available at:

Amazon: http://bit.ly/12o6h8N

Amazon (Kindle Version): http://bit.ly/ZpoiVk

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/UIgJBw

RCG Publishing: http://www.rcgpublishing.com

Going to RCG Publishing will give you links to all the books PLUS the option to get an AUTOGRAPHED copy!!