Things I learned in Vegas

Just got back from my first-ever trip to Vegas with the new wife.

I'd never been before, so I thought I'd outline a couple of things that you may or may not know about the city.

Enjoy.

Everything is HUGE

So you're all, like, 'Oh. Let's just walk over to the MGM Grand. It's right there.'

Then you start walking over to the MGM Grand because it looks SO CLOSE and then find yourself, 3 hours later, wishing you'd taken a cab because the hotel is actually 14 miles away at the other end of the strip but LOOKS close because the sign for it is roughly the height of the Empire State Building and now you're crippled.

YAY! Prostitution Poker!

Outside in the streets are people wearing bright shirts that say "Orgasisms" (yes, spelled just like that) and handing out cards with hookers on them.

I've collected all 500 of them hoping they'll be worth money some day. I also plan on playing poker with them because this is probably the best flush I've ever had:

Hotels are cities

Saying, "Oh. Let's go into this hotel" is the same thing as saying, "Oh. Let's wander into the center of a gigantic city and come out 4 hours later" because every single hotel fits a country inside of it.

For example, this is INSIDE 'The Venetian' where you can take a friggin' half-hour long gondola ride through the canal that runs inside of it:

..and this is inside Paris where we stayed:

Crazy.

Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum is one of the funnest things ever

Especially when you can pose like this:

Gordon Ramsey Steak is expensive as fuck

We made reservations at Gordon Ramsey Steak in the Paris Hotel (where we stayed).

2 hours and $400 later (not kidding) we left.

But, yes..we would totally do it again. Fucking amazeballs.

Rich assholes drive asshole cars like this and make you want to key them because they are rubbing this shit right in your face

I can't wait to go back there again. Preferably, I'll drive there in my Lamborghini and not have to take out a mortgage to buy Beef Wellington because my books are selling so well.

That's your cue.

The Cock Block (NSFW)

For part of my book whoring, I've been shilling myself out to radio stations all across the globe (Vegas and Houston, TX) and basically begging for airtime.

I did guest spots 2 weeks apart on the Curvaceous Bounty of Sin City show, and then on The Brawdcast, respectively.

Radio chicks dig me.

Then..much to my surprise..the ladies over at Sin City Bounty asked me to become a REGULAR contributor to their show.

O_O

So, yes..on the third Sunday of every month, you can hear me call into the Sin City Bounty show and run my segment, affectionately known as "The Cock Block."*

*Trademark pending

Below is my very first segment that aired this past Sunday on May 19th.

You will want headphones because this shit is TOTALLY NSFW.

OH. And you'll need to have this picture for reference because I sent it to the ladies and we talk about it:

I TOLD YOU IT WAS NSFW.

Well, regardless...here is my debut segment on The Sin City Bounty radio show.

Enjoy!

I'm like Wolfman Jack but less hairy and not dead

I've had some pretty awesome responses to my book thus far, but none more awesome than my first appearances on radio shows this past month.

SIN CITY

For my first radio appearance, I was invited to be a guest "The Curvaceous Bounty of Sin City" show after I asked them if I could come on.

So I guess it was less 'invited' and more 'forced entry.'

Actually, one of my LONG TIME readers is a co-host of the show (Sienna) and she booked me and then the rest was radio gold/history.

Here is YouTube video of one of my segments - I show up on or around the 34-minute mark:


If I ever get around to getting to Vegas I will TOTALLY be making a visit to the studios and am fearful/hopeful that I will become a plaything.

THE BRAWDS

A week later, I did a show with the women "Jenny K" and "Butt Rock Betty" (no idea) of "The Brawdcast."

The kept me on WAAAAY longer than they should have but we were having such a great frigging time doing the spot that I don't think any of us actually gave a shit.

There is no video of the show which is unfortunate because we were doing video Skype and I can tell you that the women are as hot as they are filthy...

...but there is THIS PODCAST that you can listen to. I come in at or around the 20-minute mark and stay well past my welcome.



But, if you can handle me talking about dildos and penis extenders and riding in the back of a dump truck, I think you'll enjoy it.

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Sin City Bounty links:

- Website
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The Brawdcast links:

- Website
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