It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!!
Where I go see a movie...
...then wait three f*cking weeks to tell you what I thought of it.
Just in time for the DVD Release.
...if you're looking for Ebert & Roper...you're in the wrong place.
The gay bar is down the street on the right.
Let's get started.
Hold on...just got a boner.
(...3 seconds later...)
I took my four year old son to see Iron Man.
I hadn't been this excited to see a movie since "Where the Boys Aren't, Part 2" came out.
Ironically...that movie ALSO had a lot of mechanical parts in it.
I actually liked Iron Man so much that I went to see it TWICE.
The last time I went to see a movie twice at the theater was "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back."
It was 1980.
I was 11.
My friend and I left the theater, then turned around...
...and WENT RIGHT BACK IN to see it again.
Did I say I was 11?
Couple the fact that my mother had no idea where I was for two hours when I was supposed to be home...
...along with the oh-so-safe city I lived in (Lawrence, Massachusetts)...
...and you end up with a boy who was subjected to a fairly severe beating when he got home.
As such - you can see my trepidation in seeing a movie at the theater TWICE.
Regardless...comfortable in the feeling that neither my son (viewing #1) nor my brother-in-law (viewing #2) would kick my ass...I went.
I would have to say that the second viewing was even better than the first.
Robert Downey Jr.:
The only problem I had were the scenes where he was either beat up or near dying...
...and all I could think of was that this was how he looks when he's squatting in crack houses shooting up with transvestites.
(a quick "shout out" here to my mom)
For the first time EVER I thought: "Man...I'd hit that."
Although not has hot as the chicks in "Where the Boys Aren't, Part 2," she still looked totally do-able.
Did I already say that I had a boner?
(by the way...awkward walking out of the theater with wood when accompanied by either your son or brother-in-law...just sayin')
If you haven't seen it, go see it.
Ladies, if you have no desire to see it, let your husband/boyfriend/butch-dyke lover use your admission money and go TWICE.
Just don't kick their ass when they get home.
Moog's Movie Score:
Four Mooge Splats
(out of a possible four splats)
Next up: Indiana Jo..Jo.oh...Joohh..oohhh...
There I go with the boner again.
Be right back.
To see my other movie reviews, you can click here.
Monday, May 26, 2008