You Bruge, You Lose | Mental Poo

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

You Bruge, You Lose

Two things today, and then I'm out of your hair.

Like a mild case of head lice.

#1: In Brooges...In Bruggies...ah, F*CK IT.

My brother-in-law, Derek, has bestowed upon us yet another movie review over on "Moog's Movie Reviews".

This time, he reviews:

"In Bruges"

Starring Colin Farrell.

Derek also gives us the correct pronunciation of "Bruges"...

...unlike Colin Farrell...who gives us NO clue as to how to pronounce his first name.

As such, I always call him "Colon."

This pisses him off, and he no longer brings me homemade banana bread because of it.

But, whatever - I always thought his baking skills sucked almost as much as his acting skills.


#2: I think "Pico" means "Gay"

Practically Joe from Practically Wisdom has given me the following award for my ability to blow him without dragging my teeth.

Wait..wait..wrong Joe.

Regardless, Prac Joe gave me this:

It's called the:

"Arte Y Pico Award"

What. The. F*ck.

Although I appreciate awards as much as the next guy, I can find no actual motive for supplying me with an award that makes me feel like I should go sew something and then buy a dildo.

Since I DON'T want to be like f*cking Barack Obama and HAVE to learn f*cking Spanish, I decided to plug this into my Spanish-to-English translator.

She was mad at me until I decided to use lube.

HA! Kidding!

Lube is for quitters.

It turns out that:

"Arte Y Pico" = "Art and Tip"

Oh!! Thanks for clarifying!!

Of course, I'm just kidding - I appreciate that recognition...

...and I know Prac Joe had NO idea that this award was given out to members of the "Eating My Corn on the Cob the Long Way Club" ("EMCOCLWAY", for short).

But I bet Joe knows.

The other Joe.

When I go get my other award from him later, I'll ask him.

Thanks, PJ!

Moog out.


AngryMan said...

When you say "Mooog out", where exactly do you go? What do you do? (other than jerk off and crap at work)

Inquiring minds want to know.

FreeOscar said...

I never trust bean eaters.

Anonymous said...

Only 'sometimes'?

Simply Curious said...

Man, I missed this blog. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Unknown said...

I work very hard to keep my blog just this side of mediocre to avoid any such award nonsense.

Anonymous said...

what the? have no idea what on earth we are speaking about...I am so used to LOL at your antics...maybe I'm getting too old to "get it"?

Moooooog35 said...

Angry: Nope, you nailed it. "Moog out" means I poop and jerk off.

Mystery solved.

C.Rag: Wow..that's a LOT of mistrust.

Midleah: YOU CRACKED THE CODE!! Are you the only one?

Doggy: I actually shoot really low (as I have no choice) - so I'm not sure how these things keep coming.

Maunie: Where'd we lose ya? It was at the translation thing, wasn't it?

Malach the Merciless said...


Narm said...

How do I join the EMCOCLWAY? Is there some sort of initiation ritual?

Rahul said...

In other countries they call corn...maize.

Tip o' the day.

Moooooog35 said...

Malach: WHOA! Slow down on the typing!

Narm: I thought the initiation was self-explanatory. I'm NOT showing you.

rs27: I knew you were Indian..but I thought Gandhi Indian and not Kemosabe Indian. Good to know. HOW!

Anonymous said...

"my ability to blow him without dragging my teeth."

Damn it. You possess another skill I have yet to master!

congrats on your GAY award.

I am headed over to your movie review site. That site is crazy comical.

Raspootin said...

I usually just take my teeth out when I'm blowing. :)

Simply Curious said...

Why didn't you answer my comment out of all of them? :(

Mike said...

I've received a few awards, but none of them were for any gay skills.

I feel like I have been slighted somehow.

Moooooog35 said...

Meleah: Don't just Master it...BECOME it. The men will follow.

Raspootin: You sound hot.

Simply: I have NO idea...not sure why I didn't see it. Welcome back, woman.

Mike: I guess I have one up on you. Which, I suppose, is also a gay skill.

Practically Joe said...

First of all ... In the beginning of our relationship ... you hadn't yet mastered the lips over teeth move and I have scars to prove it.
Secondly ... The woman in the Award reminded me of the bitch you left me for, you carpet munching two-timer!
Lastly ... ... translates to "art and tip"???? ... I thought it translated to "fart and trip!"

But I still luv ya ... see ... I'm still giving you expensive gifts.

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