Uncle Jim and my Ginormous Bunghole | Mental Poo

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Uncle Jim and my Ginormous Bunghole


Like a giant, weeping hemorrhoid...

I'm back.

Now...

For the LOVE OF CHRIST, stop covering me in medicated pads!!

Thanks in advance.


I'll get into some of the details of the vacation shortly, but today I have some business to take care of.

First, I have a new movie review of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" over on "Moog's Movie Reviews."


For all you perverts...there's a hot picture of an animated Natalie Portman!!

Um...I guess I'm in that category.

Also while I was gone, 50 of you voted in my latest poll:

What is the most disturbing search term my site comes up in?


Here are the results in reverse order:

my winky is stinky - 1 vote (2%)

I wanna be a macchio man - 1 vote (2%)

kids eat scat - 9 votes (18%)

white see through fatty film after poop - 10 votes (20%)

fuck me uncle jim - 12 votes (24%)

open my ass up to 6 inches wide - 17 votes (34%)

Um...

How does "kids eat scat" come in almost last place?

Is this common? Does the fact that someone wants to see children eat poop not disturb you?


Drinking pee, fine.

But eating poo?!

I'm assuming it tastes similar to kissing Richard Simmons.


Also...

"Fuck me uncle jim" came in SECOND?!?!?

Maybe it's because I HAVE an "Uncle Jim" that I find this one a little worse than the "6 inch asshole" search.

I mean...really...

The MOST I've ever asked Uncle Jim to open my ass was, like, 3 inches.

6 inches is just overkill.


Also...

Catscratch Diva has bestowed upon me the following:


That's right...

According to Diva, you're looking at a 'Kickass Blogger.'

Thanks, Diva!! I've always wanted to be a kickass blogger...

...ever since just now.

With a giant, 6-inch wide kick-ass.

I love you, Uncle Jim.

22 comments:

AngryMan said...

This blog will be your downfall.

Becky..AMHW said...

It's considered uncouth to comb up your hemmorrhoids over your bald spot....mmmkay?

Knight said...

I voted for the fatty film. I figure kids eat all kinds of shit. That is why you shouldn't touch hem. Uncle Jim is looking good in his WalMart sack. That just might change my vote.

Midleah said...

Don't look at me...I voted for the scat.

Also, your new award looks a little like a penis.

Just sayin'...

Narm said...

I voted for the white filmy thing - because at what point are you searching that and decide to click on a blog for some reading material. FOCUS ON THE POOPY FILM.

Slick said...

a 6 inch ass??

I'll never be able to do anything for you Moooog.

This is gonna put a HUGE damper on our relationship...

Mike said...

It was the picture of richard simmons that did me in.

She's the ugliest most disgusting chick i've ever seen.

moooooog35 said...

Angry: Downfall? When did I get up?

Becky: Point taken (putting comb away)

Knight: Don't mock the Walmart overalls. They come in handy when trolling for young Vietnamese workers.

Midleah: Actually, my penis actually looks like a little penis as well. Coincidence? Probably.

Narm: I agree. Poopy film or not, you can't go wrong.

Slick: There's still hope. I can still clench pretty well.

Mike: Richard Simmons is the ugliest chick you've ever seen? Please, let me introduce you to Sarah Jessica Parker.

MsPuddin said...

I HAVE AN UNCLE JIM TOO! (technically he's my godfather)but now im ashamed and grossed out. lets pretend this never happened...

LBluca77 said...

I voted for open my ass up 6 inches. I thought it sounded catchy.

Christina_the_wench said...

Is there anyone gayer than Richard Simmons?

I am having horrible flashbacks of an anal porn flick I saw years ago. I blame you.

Chris Wood said...

Is that picture like your Uncle Jim?

rs27 said...

That picture of the kid will scar me for the rest of the day.

And most of the next day.

c.watson said...

That pic with the kid is rather disturbing when put in conjunction with your blog. But I'm sure it's nutricious and kind of like recycling so yeah for them.

catscratch said...

Absolutely no question about when I think about ass-kicking who pops in my mind.

I thought the scat one was sickest. Therefore it got my vote.

More disturbing is that picture of Richard Simmons. Why does he scare me so?

Mike said...

Are we related? Because that is my Uncle Jim.

Malach the Merciless said...

You had me at giant, weeping hemorrhoid.

The Doggy Did It said...

I am holding out for the kick in the nuts blogger award.

Evil Genius said...

Everytime I see Richard Simmons my gadar goes off so loud it makes my ears ring for a week.

So I probably wouldn't have even heard your daughter's echoed screams in the cave.

Huh?

kathcom said...

I can't stop laughing out loud at this.
I'm glad my husband isn't home. He would be so disappointed in me.

moooooog35 said...

MsPuddin: FYI - Uncle Jim is really your dad!! Sorry you had to hear it here first.

Lbluca: Voted for it? I figured you were the one searching for it.

Christina: You saw a porn flick with Richard Simmons? Was it "Sweatin' with my Homies?"

Chris Wood: Ha! Your name has wood in it. Just. Like. Uncle. Jim.

rs27: Glad I could help you plan your week.

c.watson: You know what they say: "Reduce, reuse, recycle, eat your own poo."

Catscratch: Thank you, woman. You're too kind. Richard Simmons scares everyone..you're not alone in your fear.

Mike: Maybe we ARE related. Can I borrow some money?

Malach: Also, that's a great name for a rock band.

Doggy: Sounds painful. I don't want it.

Evil: I'm guessing that Richard Simmons singing karaoke to Culture Club would probably kill you.

Kathcom: Where's your husband? Is he with Uncle Jim?

meleah rebeccah said...

I did't even know what Scat was until now. Now I am horrified.

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