I Got Nothin' but this Stubby Little Poll | Mental Poo

Friday, December 19, 2008

I Got Nothin' but this Stubby Little Poll

I've got nothin' today.

Storm's a'comin.

I live in New Hampshire and we're expecting 8 to 12 inches today.

That's what she said.

Actually, the only way a woman would get 8 to 12 inches from me is if I somehow pulled a "Grinch"...

"...and they say that his penis grew 3 sizes that day..."


Nope. Nothin'.

Except that I just went downstairs to the cafeteria at work and saw some guy walking around int a Santa hat.

Is it just me, or does seeing a person in a Santa hat make you want to punch them in the fucking throat?

Jolly asshole shitfuck.

Let's see how merry you are after choking on your own blood.

Other than that, I got nothing.

However - I've posted a new "What's the most disturbing search term" poll up there on the left.

I'll be on vacation for about two weeks starting next Tuesday, so the poll will be up there for a while.

Don't worry...don't worry...

You'll get two new posts next week before I bail.

But don't expect the posts to be anywhere near 8 to 12 inches long.

I'm not that excited.

Moog out.


Christina_the_wench said...

I'm getting 6-10 today. Wish me luck. Weeeee!

MJenks said...

I went to get some coffee this morning. Some chick was wearing a Santa hat. I didn't want to punch her in the throat, though. More like, I wanted to shove my 6-6.5 inches down her throat.

Let's see how she is after choking on my--well, you get the idea.

I'll stop there. Wouldn't want people to think that perverts read your blog.

Hungry Mother said...

So, no "Daily Show" and no you, too? That sucks.

LBluca77 said...

I hope to get 8-12 inches every Saturday night.

The Absent Minded Housewife said...

That's a difficult poll. Whatever do I choose? I'm so torn.

Stand out search term from yesterday (without a link, don't have a seizure) was, "my cat's menstrual cramps".

School's out early today and I got nothin' too.

Coffeypot said...

On my honeymoon my wife told me to give her 12" and make it hurt, so I screwed her twice and hit her in the head with a shoe.

Moooooog35 said...

Christina: I could probably pull off 6 on a really, really good day. But I mean I'm REALLY pulling there.

Hungry: Wow..to be thrown in with such company! Tell Jon Stewart about me...maybe I can guest host!

lbluca: well..you could if you'd just replace the batteries.

Becky: I just rechecked my stats and someone searched:

"eat woman's poo bitch"

I think that trumps a cat's menstrual cramps.

coffeepot: you crazy lovebirds!

rachaelgking said...

Make sure you get all that snow-storming out of the way before I head up next week. White Christmas, please, hold the blizzard.

Kellie said...

"...and they say that his penis grew 3 sizes that day..."

Hahahaahahaha! I love it. We are only supposed to get 3-7 inches. 8-12 sounds much better in my book. Lucky bastard.

Me said...

Where are you going on vacation? Back to Seattle?

Enjoy your time off and please don't punch out any Santas.

Anonymous said...

Your post about nothing is funnier than anything I could ever come up with!!

Malach the Merciless said...

Go about 16" down here

That is what my t-shirt says

Anonymous said...

I hate Santa hats. Jolly people piss me off.

Practically Joe said...

I suppose you'd take issue with the antlers and red ball I stuck on the hood of my car.

Malicious Intent said...

Damn, I thought my post about the holidays was negative...I left gifts of Santa's for all and a whole new version of wack-a-mole. Go give it a spin. Might make your cranky grinch ass smile. Maybe.

Blonde Goddess said...

Just so you know...some women don't care about size but those little bald spots in the back of the head can be VEEERRYYY exciting.

If you don't know what I'm talking about apparently your wife hasn't "discovered" the incredible thing she can do with that spot...


Merry Christmas!

Unknown said...

We're gonna get about 4 inches today. Like I can work with that.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

We got 14 inches!

I love the disturbing search terms... we get a lot of odd ones too. People are nuts.

Bon Don said...

I think you're my new idol! I love that you want to punch people in the throat! We haven't I've visited sooner???

*Bon Don*

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