Shaved for her Displeasure - Part Three (The Comic Strip) | Mental Poo

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Shaved for her Displeasure - Part Three (The Comic Strip)


So, I've now wasted two full days on this topic.

This is the third.

(for Part One click here...for Part Two click here...for English press 1..)

In these past few days, I've divulged to you the fact that my chest now resembles portions of the Mojave Desert.

Hold on...hold on...

Shit.

That tumbleweed just smiled up at me.

I'm guessing it's not a tumbleweed.

Never, ever, trust a hooker who just gives it away for free.

You're welcome.


Regardless...

Fully shaved and looking like just like Fabio except nothing remotely like Fabio, I came to work.

Now..I share a cube with my friend, Kristin.

This allows me to hear all of Kristin's fun-filled stories like:

1) How one of our older coworkers used to poo out her vagina

2) The time she shit herself in her own car while driving

3) The time she destroyed a gas station rest room with her explosive diarrhea

You know...I'm just thinking out loud here, but...

I really need to move to a different fucking cube.


Where was I?

Oh..yeah...the chest shaving story.

So, naturally, I come to work the next day after shaving my chest...

...and decide to tell Kristin.

Now, instead of telling you what happened, I have decided to create...

(wait for it)

MY FIRST EVER MENTAL POO COMIC STRIP!!

Why am I the only one clapping?

Whatever.

Here is how the simple conversation went:

(click to enlarge...that's what she said)



Seriously.

She was concerned that my chest stubble would be uncomfortable when I had sex.

Once I stopped laughing, this prompted me to ask:

1) Do you even KNOW me?

2) What the fuck kind of sex are YOU having where your husband's chest is rubbing all over you?

3) Wait...is that how I'm SUPPOSED to be having sex?! Rubbing my chest all over my wife's nether region?! No wonder I suck at it.

I don't remember that in Sex Ed, but whatever.

I remember 'put your back into it, boy!' but that was more of my uncle's suggestion.

Perhaps I've said too much.

But that's the last you'll hear - at least for now - about my newly bare chest.

Unless this tumbleweed has something to say.

Seriously...I think I just heard it say, "hola."

Free hooker stuff...fucking scam.

Moog out.

29 comments:

Olly said...

I'm guessing Kirsten is supplying you with some material for use here? Still, I'd ask to be moved far far away...

Christina_the_wench said...

Do you disinfect regularly? I mean, besides your crotch area?

The Peach Tart said...

'put your back into it, boy! - that's some good advice by your uncle

LiLu said...

"Never, ever, trust a hooker who just gives it away for free."

What about one who'll let you do her in the rib for $5?

Narm said...

Is it still considered free if I paid $25 for the roofie?

LiLu said...

Also? Your comic strips looks suspiciously like Cathy.

TAKE THAT.

moooooog35 said...

Olly: I can't move away. Sitting with Kristin is like seeing a train wreck with a great big rack.

Christina: Disin..wha?

Peach: Sure was. My farts haven't made a sound since.

LiLu: Great...there goes my appetite for a McRib.

Or is it even bigger?

Narm: You can deduct that on your taxes.

Don't worry...I work for ACORN.

Lilu: ...and yours looks like Family Circus..you know if you did a comic it would be like when Billy writes it when his dad is traveling and..

Shut up.

Ed Adams said...

Kristin sounds HOT!

Damn it! I was seriously working on some comic strips for my next couple posts, and now you guys ruined it. I hope you're happy.

Gauche said...

The little cartoon you looks like Buzz Lightyear.

cute.

Swirl Girl said...

If you had gone 'Brazilian' in addition to the shaved chest...well then, I could under the scratchiness thing.

shaved nipple fucking...the next best thing to being there.

Malicious Intent said...

You need to call that therapist and demand, DEMAND that you get your money back. That shit is NOT working for you at. Nope, not one fucking bit.

And the stubble is a problem when you go to sleep and you do that whole spooning thing. GAWD...horrible. I know this, cause I cannibalized my husbands chest hair that one time with the clippers.

I thought of you last night when he asked me to shave his neck. Ya know, so we could determine where his neck stopped and his back began. Always a special moment in the M.I. house.

Bamboo said...

for English press 1...LMFAO! I could barely read the rest of the story for laughing so hard.

The comic is great by the way! Funny stuff!

Un[Censored] said...

Kristin sounds like she really has a thing for poo...so...you might want to buy some of those keyboard disinfectant wipey thingeys...you know...just sayin'.

I hear amoebic dysentery is a real bitch...

LivingDeadNurse said...

lmao

Mike said...

Chest stubble rubbing is an easy way for her to remove those stubborn nipple hairs.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

The comic strip is great. And keep going to that "perhaps I've said too much" well . . . it's funny every time.

Gauche said...

I gotta respond to Mike's comment only cause I'm seriously horrified. "Nipple Hair?!?!?!" WTF?!!

moooooog35 said...

Ed Adams: EAT MY DUST, PEASANT!

I mean..um..

Good luck with your comics.

Gauche: I meant for it to look like Arnold Schwarzenneger.

COMIC FAIL.

Swirl: Apparently you don't know that I have gone Brazilian.

Is that what guys do? Go Brazilian?

Or is more like a Columbian...the penis being the 'necktie' and all..?

MI: You thought of me last night...wow...shocking.

Bamboo: My first comment from a panda!!

Yay!

Un[censored]: Yeah...Kristin is a real find, let me tell ya.

LivingDeadNurse: LOVE the name.

I will never listen to Rob Zombie the same way again.

Mike: You know my mom?

Chris: Thanks!

Perhaps I've said too much.

WAY-O!

Notsomuch right there.

Gauche: Pretending like you don't know...so cute.

Becky..AMHW said...

I guess I'd better get around to shaving my chest. I put it off for far too long.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Oh my goodness!!! lol

Kellie said...

So is your chest grown back in yet? You know I'm just asking for your wife. I at least want her to have that 1 thing she likes about you back.

M.J. said...

Is there really any such thing as a bad place for a blow job....

I like how your comic strip representation of you has bulging muscles and a trim waste...I guess anything is possible in a comic strip! lol

Kirsten said...

Doesn't it scratch when you blog now?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Your uncle didn't dispense that advice while you were WITH him did he? Forget it, I don't need to know.

I hate when the friction from my chest stubble sets my date on fire.

Susan said...

It's scratchy growing in for us too, you know? Um... and I'm not talking chest hair...

And for the record, I have not yet had to need to tweeze anything off my nipples.

I missed this place.

Steph said...

This Kristen sounds like my kind of gal. And is that what your uncle said wHILE he was doing something inappropriate that will most likely result in thousands of dollars in therapy?

moooooog35 said...

Becky: Don't forget to send pics!

Wait.

Scratch that.

Please don't.

Tee: Watch your language around here, woman. Family show.

Kellie: It's coming very slowly.

Complete opposite of my wiggly.

MJ: Aside from the ass dimple in my chin, I look just like that guy.

Even the height is actual size.

Kirsten: I'm assuming you think I write with my nipples.

Veggie: Thank you for somewhat getting my 'uncle' joke.

Also..

You sound hot.

Susan: Being apparently the only woman who comments here who DOESN'T need to tweeze her ariolas, we missed you too.

Steph: Yeah...Kristin's a peach. Also, you get one kewpie doll for getting the uncle joke.

And by 'kewpie doll' I mean 'tasteful nude picture of me.'

You're welcome.

ettarose said...

Poor Kirsten. Are you still teaching her dirty meanings to regular words? You know you will NOT ask to be moved. She has too much blog fodder in her.

Jill Pilgrim said...

Oh yeah, you're definitely doing it wrong.

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