Laying Pipe - First Grade Style | Mental Poo

Friday, February 12, 2010

Laying Pipe - First Grade Style

My 6 year old son is a playah.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Just so you know, I totally had a different post for today but something came up.

That's what she said. You hour or so after I took my Levitra.


I've digressed.


Regardless, I was bringing my kids to school this morning, and walked my son up to his class so he could drop off the Valentine's Day present for his teacher.

Honestly, a G-Spot vibrator seems a bit excessive for first grade, but it's what she asked for and I had one that I was no longer using and..

Perhaps I've said too much.

Outside the classroom was a bulletin-board with Valentine messages that each kid wrote to another.

That's when I see the one written to my son, Cam.

Here it is (click to enlarge):

"Dear Cameron,

I likes the way you are smrt and the way you. lay you write good too."

* blink


The ladies LOOOOOOOVE how smrt he is and how well he lay.

Of course, this chick is probably pretty easy since she's most likely the dumbest broad in the class..

(..seriously..even in first grade I'm pretty sure they allow you to reread your sentences and realize that your grammar, spelling and punctuation is just ridiculously fucked up..)

..but still...


Maybe I should have just let him keep his teacher's gift.

Sounds like he's gonna be able to get some use out of it.


I'm jealous.


Mike said...

And here I am waiting all the way till grade 7 before getting any action.

If I would have known grade 1 chicks were putting out, I would have started back then.

Yet another thing I'm jealous of, like XBOX's and Motorized kid cars.

Miss Spoken said...

Part-Time Luva, Full-Time Playa!!

SoccerMOM said...

What the heck? I'm not so sure being a playa at his age is a good thing. Can you see into the future and spell out TEEN pregnacy?????

I hear what your saying, my son is 15, and coming from a MOM, I am NOT ready for the "checking out girls" aspect of his age.
Must be easier being a dad?

bikramyogachick said...

Wait til the kid hits junior high. Chip off the 'ol block.

Anonymous said...

I am laughing so hard I almost can't type! Great post!

Lee said...

Isn't that sweet....he's laying with her...awwww....tell him not to forget a raincoat.

MommaKiss said...

Well, I wish +I+ was that teacher! What a fantastic gift idea!

Cam...he's gonna get a lot of lovin' - I can just tell.

Brutalism said...

Oh my God. Poor Angelina. She probably has daddy issues and is not receiving any sort of support at home and is just reaching out for a bit of affection and validation. I bet there is no one at home that goes over her spelling words with her, or lets her know that one does not put a period randomly in the middle of a sentence (like fingernails on the blackboard, that was...). Anyway, the poor little girl obviously has many issues and here you are heartlessly mocking her. I thought you were better than that.

Just kidding. She's a stupid whore.

Yankee Girl said...

It looks like you have taught him well.

I almost feel bad for all of the other girls he is going to lead on and then let go of in his life!


If he's that good you can't really blame him.

Elly Lou said...

Has it been longer than four hours? I don't want you putting anyone's eye out.

Matt said...

play on playa!!

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

That's a right nice card your son got, bad spelling and all. We should all be so lucky. Also, I hope you're saving your posts somewhere other than in cyberspace, because it's not that reliable for long-term storage and I think your kids will want to read what you wrote about them (and yourself) when they get older. Back everything up on a disc or something. Think about it, OK?

MrsBlogAlot said...

HAAA! Nothing like a proud papa!

Unknown said...

Will you still be all proud when he becomes a daddy in fourth grade?

Ben said...

I'm pro teaching life-long skills at an early age. EVEN IN THIS CASE.

Tgoette said...

Way to go, proud papa! Good to see your training in the art of seduction is paying off for Cam. He's gonna be one smooth operator by the time he hits jr. high. Score!

JenJen said...

It's okay soccermom.
And? Third grade daughter got a conversation heart that said: "Hey Babe" from a friend. A boytype friend.

Seriously folks, she's eight.

Ziva said...

Now that's a cool kid. Just make sure he knows not to get too attached to this chick. She doesn't appear to be too smart... The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead, if you know what I mean.

Maxie said...

Are you sure that he's yours?

Malach the Merciless said...

I hope he wore a condom for that trap, I already had her

Marlee's Movements said...

gotta love valentimes.brings out the odds in people

Me-Me King said...

Like father, like son! said...

Me-Me's right... definitely a chip off the old block.


at least she didn't say he was a lousy lay

now that would've been embarrassing

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Oh man. I thought "laying pipe" meant taking a really big shit. I'm cringing now. What have I been telling people??!

Phillipia said...

Not sure what I was doing Friday that I missed this...too funny:)

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.

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