And the mystery of "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!" continues.
Let me explain.
The latest rage for asshole lazy bloggers is to self-promote themselves by reposting some of their own Twitter Tweets as blog posts.
I am now stooping to this level.
Actually, I'm 5'-2" tall.
No stooping required. Already there.
Below are some of my very own Tweets that I've subjected my 12 followers to.
Click here for Volume One, Volume Two and Volume Three.
There's a skew on this one, though:
These Tweets are all ones that I look at myself and go:
I feel bad for Asians who order "The Clapper." Sure they can turn their lights on and off, but their houses must be disgusting.
I'm feeling randy today. He's really starting to get annoyed.
I wonder if Nazis were allowed to have half-and-half in their coffee.
Be considerate. Remember, for people with goiters, every day is "Hump Day."
I want to work for the marketing department of Aer Lingus just so I can work the word "Cunning" into an ad.
Citrus is supposed to have great cleaning powers, but rubbing this Orange Chicken around just seems to make more of a mess.
I can't even imagine how crowded Walmart would be if NASCAR wasn't invented.
You know you've matured when you're playing with your kid's hamster and it doesn't even cross your mind to shove it in your ass.
Told my kids that thunder is God bowling. And rain is what happens when angels cry because God can be a dick when he drinks.
A communist stole my seat once so I squirted Visine on him. It got the Red out.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and maybe some money for hookers
Saw a Tootsie Roll in the store and broke down crying. Gary Coleman, you left us too soon.
FYI, if I'm following you on Twitter please note that "Twitter" is the name of my moped and you're driving way too fast.
I thought I had an epiphany until I realized 'epiphany' didn't mean 'ass zit.'
I had the best sex dream last night. This morning, my dog won't come near me. I'm praying this is a coincidence.
I really wish people would stop preaching about gun control and just PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG LIKE I ASKED.
"Charlie Sheen going to Jail." Looks like "2-1/2 Men" is the answer to: "How many prisoners can fit in Charlie Sheen's asshole?"
"Violent video games touted as learning tool." Hear that son? Now stop questioning me and beat the shit out of that hooker.
You know it's going to be one of those days when you wake up naked and covered in feces.
Never order baby back ribs from a restaurant attached to an orphanage.
I want to live in a world where "WFH" means less "Working from Home" and more "Wrestling Fifteen Hermaphrodites."
There comes a time in every man's life when he must decide whether or not to release the woman in his crawlspace.
Spam: "Grow your penis as long as the Great Wall of China." I don't know. Seems kind of unmanageable. Plus, all the tourists.
If you're linked to me on Facebook, you may have seen these as well.
If you want to find me in either place, click here.
Twitter at: http://twitter.com/moooooog35 or you can just click this button:
Find me at Facebook by clicking here:
You've been warned.