Do Ya Feel Lucky, Google? Well Do Ya...Punk? | Mental Poo

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Do Ya Feel Lucky, Google? Well Do Ya...Punk?

I'm on Google the other day and searching "Typhoid Fever" (don't ask) when I notice...


I'm feeling lucky?

Color me crazy but if you're Googling 'Typhoid Fever' it's either because you know someone who has typhoid fever or YOU have typhoid fever from that crusty girl you sat next to on the airplane or you have to do a report on typhoid fever and unless you stand to inherit a shitload of money from the person dying of typhoid fever then I'm pretty sure you're NOT FEELING LUCKY.

Then I started thinking about other things you'd Google when this wouldn't be appropriate.

I think this is a hands-down case of 'not feeling lucky, Google, you asshole. I have AIDS you prick.'

Jesus, Google.

Could you be a little more cruel?


The morning after 'Google of shame.'

But on the flip side:

Forget Google, dude.

You update your Facebook status and Tweet that crap.


FYI, I also tried Googling 'My vagina' here but nothing comes up and OH GUESS WHAT apparently our IT Department checks our history so now all those geeks think I have a vagina.

Which is okay because I'm getting MUCH better tech support now.


And then I closed my browser after Googling "I was used by a guy" and "I have aids" and "typhoid fever" and "my bum is" and "I need to quit gambling" and "my balls" and went back to work.

And didn't get fired.

I guess I am feeling lucky after all.



you sound hot

take that you rat bastard

oh wait, wait, here's another one

Al Qaeda will stop at nothing

and one more

so the chicken says, I DON'T EAT WINGS


now I feel much better

Jessica said...

Don't try to hide the fact you wrote the 41+ chapters on your balls.

JaneneMurphy said...

Oh, man. This is way too funny. Thanks for making my day!

Jeremy from We Took The Bait said...

"My bum is on the Swedish" is a line from a Tom Green ditty entitled "The Bum-Bum song." Though, for the most part, the humor is completely miss (even by those, like me, who found the Tom Green show uproariously funny), the Swedish line was great.... and even better in the video.

vickilikesfrogs said...

I can't believe you didn't mention the "my ball itch" result!

Funny as hell, btw!

Big Fat Gini said...

Oh my God. I'm crying over here.

Anonymous said...


This was hilarious. But I happen to know why you were googling Typhoid Fever.

You're lookin' for Mary, aren'tcha?


AgapiStudios said...

maybe I'm feeling lucky is the catch phrase that needs to go ....

Unknown said...

Man, you have way to much time on your hands! lol

Miss Yvonne said...

I'm scared for whoever isn't sure if having AIDS is a problem. Nah,'s cool. Don't worry about it.

Hills said...

He did tweet it.

I was going to reply, "you weren't that useful, kiddo", but opted instead for, "you're welcome".

Cuz I'm polite.

- B x

Anonymous said...

I think you get Typhoid Fever from those dirty little dish dolly's you sell! Especially the encrusted kind! Buyer Beware!

Thanks for keeping the laughs rolling in!

Anonymous said...

A book on balls!! LMAO!!
Love this Google stuff.

Christina Harper said...

Google definitely needs to change their wording a bit on that. Lmao.

My bum is all alone...


What's even worse is that apparently these things are common searches. I mean, come on...

Brutalism said...

Great. Now I'm all thirsty for a typhoid fever smoothie.

Just kidding. I don't really have typhoid fever. I have AIDS. LOL!!!

Dr. Cynicism said...

God bless Google autocomplete. The single most awesome fun you can have on any computer (well, maybe like 20th most fun thing to do, but you know what I'm sayin).

Ed said...

My Balls wiki? WTF Google?

If you have balls, and you need to google/wiki that shit, you have serious learning issues.

Malach the Merciless said...

Google rocks and don't even know it

meleah rebeccah said...

Seriously, I'm crying laughing over here. HOLY SHIT these are sofa king funny. I can't stand it!

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Come on. Make nice with google. If you type "Midget Man" you are the 4th one they suggest after Midget Mansion (?), Midget Manifesto (??!), Midget Man Lyrics (? Didn't know you made a song!)

Grace Matthews said...

You should have tried "I have diarhhea all the time" ...I Feel Lucky

Moooooog35 said...

Speaking: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Jessica: It's a pop-up book!

Janene: You're welcome.

Jeremy: Just so you know, I hate when people explain shit.

Cut it out.

Vicki: But you mentioned it..doesn't that count?

Gini: Great. I made another woman cry.

Mrsblogalot: I shall guard my vagina with my life!

Quirky: Oh..stay tuned for THAT story.

Agapi: ya think?

Eva: Do you just copy and paste that comment?

Miss Yvonne: *breathes sigh of relief

Barreness: The more you know.


Midwestern: I know. WHO KNEW?

Christina: My bum is all alone, too.

Maybe they should be on

Brutalism: Greatest. Comment. Ever.

Cynicism: Trust me. I've had way more funnnnnn.

Sorry. Keys got stuck there.

Ed: Stop looking at me when you say that.

Malach: Where does that leave BING?

Meleah: Awww. *blushes

Absence: FOURTH?!?!?!?!? BLASPHEME!!

Grace: I think you've said too much.

SisterMerryHellish said...

Imagine how far off the right path it would throw the detectives investigating your murder when the tech guy gives them the results from scanning your computer for clues!

Not that I'm planning anything. I swear.

Suzy said...

Is it wrong that I laughed at I have AIDS lol?


Sunny said...

I'm sick today, so I just Goggled "I'm sick" and the #1 autocomplete is "I'm sick of being fat."

Fuck you Google, I'm fluffy.

Diva's Thoughts said...

Sometimes...I really wonder about Google. lol

Anonymous said...

Try "Nazi" -- Nazi Zombies will come up before Nazi Germany. Which I feel, really, is Google trying to tell us something.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I like how your balls can either be "itchy" or "really itchy", your choice. Depending on how lucky you are. Love your brilliant mind on this one. :)

A Vapid Blonde said...

My Balls Stink.

I am sorry to share that here, you know the fact that I have balls.

Unknown said...


Google brings up some weird stuff. I am often creeped out -- and sometimes flattered, actually -- by the keywords that bring people to my blog. Is that good or bad?

JD at I Do Things said...

I just had to Google "I have aids lol" and the first hit are the forums to a site called Jesus Has Aids, LOL.

So I guess all I'm saying is, if it's OK to laugh out loud at Jesus's AIDS, then everyone else is fair game.

Jill Hamilton said...

I kept seeing your blog on other people's "favorites" lists and finally decided to see what the hubbub was about.
Now I know.

"Typhoid fever smoothie"!

My day has been made.
in bed with married women

Octo-Dolls said...

i have aids lol - wow, do you realize how often someone has to actually search a keyphrase for it to pop up like that? LMAO!

Ian C - My Twist News said...

Thanks, I truly enjoyed that.

1) I tried googling my balls and got "my balls hurt after making out" in place of "chapter 41"

2) Nothing could be worse than "my balls chapter 11 - bankrupt balls"

LJP said...

My bum is on the cheese!?!?!

Mmmm. Tasty. Google is an enabler for weirdos!

Looked up "bum crack" just to be juvenile, and found:

"bum crack bandit"

Apparently it's a notorious armed robber somewhere on the Gold Coast. I'm sorry I asked.

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