Mr Sana Kabore and the Offer I Can't Refuse | Mental Poo

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Mr Sana Kabore and the Offer I Can't Refuse


Another day, another spam.

I got this the other day:

***********************

From: "sanakabore@sify.com"
Sent: Thu, June 17, 2010 9:00:12 AM
Subject: CAN WE WORK TOGETHER?.


CAN WE WORK TOGETHER?.

Let me start by introducing myself,I am Mr Sana Kabore,an ACCOUNTS OFFICER with the Bank of Africa Burkina Faso.

I am writing you this letter based on the latest development at my Department which I will like to bring to your personal edification of (US $15 million transfer claims).

This is a legitimate transaction and I agreed to offer you 40% of this money as my foreign partner after confirmation of the fund in your bank account: get back to me with the listed below and yours comment.

Your Full Name:.............
Your Country:.......... ....
Your Direct Phone N°........

Best Regard,
Mr Sana Kabore
God bless you


********************


Well...fresh off of getting STOOD THE HELL UP from Ms. Sharon Wilfred, I replied to Mr. Sana Kabore with the following:

********************

Hola, Mr. Sana Kabore!

Or, as they say in your native African tongue, nik nuk (popping sound) muckaluck nip (popping sound) paddywack.

I know that's translated right because I once watched something on the Discovery Channel about Africa but - to be honest with you - I only watched for, like, 20 minutes to see if they'd show pygmy boobs.

I like boobs. Do you like boobs, Mr. Sana Kabore? I sure do.

I'm pinching my nipples right now.


TOLD you I loved boobs.

Regardless, I would love to get involved in this transaction but I'm already working on the sweet sweet love of one Ms Sharon Wilfred who has offered me the sum of over 2 million dollars.

Sharon is from Senegal. I'm pretty sure that's either Africa or a suburb of Chicago. Oprah's in Chicago AND is African American so I'm pretty sure they're the same thing.

Joke for you:

Q: Why isn't Chicago in Africa?

A: Because we don't have ebola in Chicago!

HAHAHAHAHA.

Do you know Ms Sharon Wilfred? You can call her 'Shar.' I do.

Here..I'm attaching a picture of her to see if maybe you know her:


HOT, RIGHT?

Well..I'm busy at work trying to nail that fine, fine piece. So the next time you see her, it will be like this:


Still pinching my nipples.

But now I'm all bullshit because she only offered me, like, HALF of what you're offering me (way to prove your undying devotion to me, Shar. Women. Am I right, Mr. Kabore or am I right?!) and even though I'm TOTALLY NOT GAY I am willing to totally bail on my lovely Sharon and allow you the privilege of wooing me with your 40% of fifteen million dollars which involves math and maybe some sort of geometry.

DAMN YOU, ADHD!
You have ruined me for..OOOOH! Shiny penny!

Where was I? Oh...doing this transaction with you instead of Shar for some gay sex.*

* you must be Ebola-free for this offer to be valid

If that's acceptable to you, I can give you all the information below. Let me know.

In case you're still on the fence (or, in Africa, dried out oasis), here is a picture of my nipple to seal the deal.


Mmmm. Boobs.

Nik nuk pokalok (popping sound and weird clicky thing) nikky nack kalamazooo! (Can't wait to see your penis even though I'm totally not gay and get money!)

Your Fellow Jesuit Priest,

midgetmanofsteel


******************

And then I sent it...

...hoping and praying the Mr. Sana Kabore returns my offer.

You have only yourself to blame, Ms Sharon Wilfred.

I hope you're happy now.

26 comments:

pattypunker said...

i love how paddywack and kalamazoo are parts of the african tongue. of course, the popping sounds, too!

also is there some kind of lounge where one can smoke from that long tree thingy in the pic? partay!

vickilikesfrogs said...

That picture of your nipple is now burned into my retina and I see it every time I close my eyes. Why? Why did you do that, Oh Midget Man of Steel? Whyyyyy???

Dazee Dreamer said...

ok, spit my coffee out when I saw the hairy nipple.

Can't wait for him to reply

Eva Gallant said...

You are hysterical! I love when somebody messes with the spammers. Have you ever been to Skunkfeathers' blog? He's the master at scamming the samming spammers!

MJenks said...

That IS some seriously hot librarian action right there.

But, if that picture of her is accurate, shouldn't there be more turds and dead bodies floating in that water behind her?

Coffeypot said...

That's your nipple? Good! I thought you were giving him your penis picture.

Christina_the_wench said...

LOL@Coffeypot. You beat me to it. Damn you.

Didactic Pirate said...

Poor Ms. Sharon Wilfred. Do you not feel even a little ashamed for toying with her affections like that? She was so clearly loving you long time and now you go and do this to her and now she will remain heartbroken and unloved and have to email someone else who can satisfy her in the bum area.

And do not tell me that you plan on remaining loyal to Mr. Sana Kabore. Oh no, you Mr. Lothario, with your ways. You will string him along, and string him along, and just when he decides that maybe he would like you to satisfy him in HIS bum area in exchange for millions of dollars, you will decide to move on to greener pastures.

I don't know how you sleep at night. Good day, Sir.

I said, good day.

*slaps Moooog's face with white glove*

Ann said...

So here I am just eating my lunch and BAM! hairy man boob. So... no more lunch for me today.

I really only have myself to blame.

Good luck with your new "connection".

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I so wish I could get my brain to work like yours.

I'm okay with the male slant since I like boobs too.

Though I think I would have used a little more "whadawhada bang bang" with your new friend. It goes a long way.

Moooooog35 said...

I'm too lazy today to respond to everyone's comments individually so feel free to just insert your own witticism here in reply to yourself.

Thanks in advance.

The Management

LiLu said...

That last picture is payback for all the period TMI Thursdays, isn't it?

Well played.

The Sweetest said...

Unfortunately, your images were so clear that I could actually feel the nipple hairs as if they were in my mouth. I might not need any dinner. That said, best laugh I've had all day.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Thank you, hon. That last picture is nauseating...and I was getting ready for dinner.

Not anymore!!! : P*** lol!

Malach the Merciless said...

Your a lucky man

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I am fucking speechless. I may have already said that I love you just for your sense of humour. Now don't get all stalky with me, cause I will kick your ass.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Sana Kabore is not his real name. The man is a gay pimp in Brazzaville who recruits random guys by email. He's probably jerking off right now to that picture of your nipple.

Brutalism said...

So, let me get this straight (heh)...

Tiffany lamp = does not make you gay

Promise of $15 million = does make you gay

Picture of that hairy man nipple = makes ME gay

Wicked Shawn said...

It's just as well, Shar has been hitting on me for ages. Might as well move on to the King of Burkina Faso. Also, you are aware they can wax a man, right? Just throwing that out there. I heard "Welcome to the Jungle" the minute I scrolled.

Grace Matthews said...

After that appealing offer Shar just might up the anty...that's a pretty sexy nipple you go there.

Anonymous said...

OMG (and lucky you!) there IS actually a website for said bank!

"BANK OF AFRICA - BURKINA FASO
Set up in 1998, BOA-BURKINA FASO was the fifth BANK OF AFRICA to open in the WAEMU zone. "

Better check out the annual report before you continue this "romance"!

Kernut the Blond said...

Too funny! Can you respond to my spammers for me?

BTW - You look hot in those speedos. ;)

And Sharon's hot! And you're soon to be single. Don't give up on her just yet.

MommaKiss said...

I was allll on board with the boobs and nipples until that hairy motherfucker showed up. Bleach. For the eyeballs. Jerk.

Canadianbloggergirl said...

that is some funny shit!

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

Jenny DB said...

oh geez, that's amazing. Please share your response!!!! :-)

meleah rebeccah said...

Im DYING laughing! I seriously can't wait for him to reply!

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