Sorry, ladies.
But I'm off the market.
Like they say:
"You snooze, you'll probably be felt up by the weird guy on the train."
Here's a little bit of what you're missing out by not being my girlfriend.
*******************
I was in the store waiting around for a prescription (boing) and was killing time by wandering around when I stumbled upon something that immediately made me stop and reflect on our new relationship and mutual admiration and respect for each other.
Seizing the moment, I immediately sent her this picture message:
Aww.
It's like having roses delivered but instead of roses actually being bought and delivered it's just a text message of a big pink spiky dildo-ish type thing with googly eyes.
This is exactly how Tiger Woods must have felt.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Who Says Romance is Dead? - Giant Dildo-Type-Thing Edition
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17 comments:
So sweet. So touching.
Which reminds me - I have taken night trains twice in my life and WILL NEVER DO SO AGAIN: the first time, I had to share a sleeper car with 5 BELGIAN SOLDIERS (what kind of train company puts a 21-year-old girl travelling alone in with 5 male soldiers? The French one, that's what), and the second time (Zürich to Paris) I fell asleep only to be awoken when a RABBI (yup, a motherfucking RABBI) tried to lie down ON TOP OF ME. WTF?
So, yeah, no more night trains and you're quite right: you sleep, you get felt up by the freak on the train.
*sigh*
And that guy is NEVER - repeat, NEVER - Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. Trust me on this.
Goddamit you owe me a keyboard!!!
LMAO :)
i would be stoked to get that text rather than the typical *what's for dinner* bullshit i get... besides pink dildo-y guys rock :)
Does it vibrate? Asking for a friend, of course. *ahem*
Love it!
I see those in the kids' toy section in the dollar store and always think.. what are THEY doing there?! Ahem.
They're a bit flaccid though;
enjoy your medication.
Damn! You left out the most important information! WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE STORE WHERE YOU WERE AT?
Oh yeah. And your comment? "You snooze, you'll probably be felt up by the weird guy on the train."
Thanks. A little to late.
If you've read any of my recent posts you'd know that I took a train to Chicago. Yeah. I could have got lucky if I fell asleep on the train. Except that a) I was with my husband and b) I snore and I would have gotten kicked off the train because I was sitting in the "quiet" car. But still. A friend would share this advice. Really.
Well, it IS nice to be thought of I guess... even if it involved a pink spiky dildo-y type thing picture.
If that is the size dildo she uses you have a lot to live up to sir.
I hope she knows you didn't mean to suggest she looks like that thing.
That's hot! I want a guy who grows eyeballs & weird hair on his johnson when he thinks of me.
I'm not impressed unless you actually bought it for her!
I can't believe you're taken. I was counting on you as my back up to my back up husband. Damn it.
You might want to have that thing looked at.
haha......she really really enjoys those..... I.... uh..... hear?
And what was the return comment?
y'all are my favorite couple. ever.
Now that's just awesome!
Wouldn't it have been better if you'd actually bought it for her? What? Didn't want the competition? ; )
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