Who Says Romance is Dead? - Giant Dildo-Type-Thing Edition | Mental Poo

Friday, September 30, 2011

Who Says Romance is Dead? - Giant Dildo-Type-Thing Edition

Sorry, ladies.

But I'm off the market.

Like they say:

"You snooze, you'll probably be felt up by the weird guy on the train."

Here's a little bit of what you're missing out by not being my girlfriend.

*******************

I was in the store waiting around for a prescription (boing) and was killing time by wandering around when I stumbled upon something that immediately made me stop and reflect on our new relationship and mutual admiration and respect for each other.

Seizing the moment, I immediately sent her this picture message:



Aww.

It's like having roses delivered but instead of roses actually being bought and delivered it's just a text message of a big pink spiky dildo-ish type thing with googly eyes.

This is exactly how Tiger Woods must have felt.

17 comments:

Magic27 said...

So sweet. So touching.

Which reminds me - I have taken night trains twice in my life and WILL NEVER DO SO AGAIN: the first time, I had to share a sleeper car with 5 BELGIAN SOLDIERS (what kind of train company puts a 21-year-old girl travelling alone in with 5 male soldiers? The French one, that's what), and the second time (Z├╝rich to Paris) I fell asleep only to be awoken when a RABBI (yup, a motherfucking RABBI) tried to lie down ON TOP OF ME. WTF?
So, yeah, no more night trains and you're quite right: you sleep, you get felt up by the freak on the train.
*sigh*
And that guy is NEVER - repeat, NEVER - Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. Trust me on this.

PISSED said...

Goddamit you owe me a keyboard!!!

LMAO :)

Cyn said...

i would be stoked to get that text rather than the typical *what's for dinner* bullshit i get... besides pink dildo-y guys rock :)

Christina_the_wench said...

Does it vibrate? Asking for a friend, of course. *ahem*

Lady Estrogen said...

Love it!
I see those in the kids' toy section in the dollar store and always think.. what are THEY doing there?! Ahem.

They're a bit flaccid though;
enjoy your medication.

Pat said...

Damn! You left out the most important information! WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE STORE WHERE YOU WERE AT?

Oh yeah. And your comment? "You snooze, you'll probably be felt up by the weird guy on the train."

Thanks. A little to late.

If you've read any of my recent posts you'd know that I took a train to Chicago. Yeah. I could have got lucky if I fell asleep on the train. Except that a) I was with my husband and b) I snore and I would have gotten kicked off the train because I was sitting in the "quiet" car. But still. A friend would share this advice. Really.

Random Girl said...

Well, it IS nice to be thought of I guess... even if it involved a pink spiky dildo-y type thing picture.

Knight said...

If that is the size dildo she uses you have a lot to live up to sir.

I hope she knows you didn't mean to suggest she looks like that thing.

LilPixi said...

That's hot! I want a guy who grows eyeballs & weird hair on his johnson when he thinks of me.

Eva Gallant said...

I'm not impressed unless you actually bought it for her!

Miss Yvonne said...

I can't believe you're taken. I was counting on you as my back up to my back up husband. Damn it.

Ed said...

You might want to have that thing looked at.

Steve Bailey said...

haha......she really really enjoys those..... I.... uh..... hear?

P.J. said...

And what was the return comment?

meleah rebeccah said...

y'all are my favorite couple. ever.

Paula said...

Now that's just awesome!

So. Cal. Gal said...

Wouldn't it have been better if you'd actually bought it for her? What? Didn't want the competition? ; )

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