Sears chat is great at Christmas Tree recommendations | Mental Poo

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Sears chat is great at Christmas Tree recommendations

Last year the kids and I got our very first REAL Christmas tree because nothing says 'I have the Spirit of Christmas' like having to vacuum up pine needles out of your carpeting every 5 minutes.

This year, though, my daughter wanted a fake tree and who am I to deny her the thrill of shopping for a $200 pre-lit crappy looking Douglas Fir?

Suffice it to say we spent nearly an entire day going from store to store trying to find a tree that (a) wasn't $300 and (b) didn't look like it belonged in a shelter for homeless trees if it WAS under $300.

Eventually I turned to online shopping where for some reason I decided to chat with Sears support for their recommendations...but for some reason took on the role of some Jewish guy who had no idea how to shop for a tree.

I know. I don't know either sometimes.

I apologize to my Jewish readers for the grammar but even though I have a ton of Jewish friends (2), my only experience in texting/chatting with one is with my buddy, Rob, and he is terrible at using grammar in any form that looks even a slightly correct.

Sadly, Barker didn't comment on my "Jesus is from Oz" comment which I thought tied in to the whole 'gold' concept since there was a 'yellow brick road' and this was all about Christmas.

Just roll with it. It made sense in my head at the time.

Regardless, still needing a tree, I click on the link that Barker sent me.

This is what Barker sent me:


Because I can't think of any Christmas holiday that isn't complete without a $600 tree that looks like it was dipped in 100 gallons of liquid gold bullion.

..and then Barker and I parted ways and later that evening I ended up going to Target and getting a $200 tree that was kind of skinny and crappy and wasn't even gold.

I should have listened to Barker.


Rebecca said...

I've never received a good true response from those people on those chats. I think it's all computer generated and not honestly a real live person.

Unknown said...

I'm impressed. I can't believe you took the time to do a Sears chat about trees.

Christina_the_wench said...

All of those chats on the porn sites has finally paid off. Good job!!

meleah rebeccah said...


599.00 for an xmas tree? NO WAY.

And, now you can say you have THREE Jewish friends. [Me.]

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

You're shopping for a tree and they give you a sales person named Barker? Damn that Sears sale's team is eerily good.

Stasha said...

You spent $200 on a FAKE CHRISTMAS tree?


I am LMFAO at the $100 tree that looks like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.


Sears is trying to rob people. Seriously.

Shawn O'Hara said...

oy gevalt! du bist meshuge.

Anonymous said...

You as a Jew? Mashugana is right. Maybe a Jew should have a yew instead which is maybe what that $14.99 number was...Yeah, a Jew wants gold. How stereotypical! I'm considering suing you. Large Louie

The Onion said...

Barker doesn't have a sense of humor, but her parents must have to have named her something you a) a carnival worker, or b) a girl who is loud during sex. Happy Hanukkah Barker, Bark! Bark!

Mike said...

As a jewish person, I was not offended by the content of this post.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to get my mother to make you some chicken soup with EXTRA kreplach.


Annie said...

That was brilliant. Glad you will have a tree, but $200 hundred at Target? That's a little rough. Speaking of rough...who names their kid Barker? We had a dog named Bob Barker. The thing wouldn't shut up. But a Barker girl? Nevertheless, she was sweet and hung in there. Hope your two jewish friends are still on speaking terms.

Unknown said...

Love the idea of the homeless tree shelter. I may have to go there.

Yours truly,

Nona said...

You should have bought the one photographed on the blue background for $209.99. After the holidays is would make a nice clothes/hat rack.

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