The Jimmy Dean Birthday Masquerade

One of our friends had her 40th birthday recently.

Normally this would put her out of my list of 'people I want to bang' but she's pretty and has great big boobs and probably a vagina. In reality, all I'm interested in is the last thing.

I forgot where I was going with this.

OH.

She decided to have her birthday party as a "Gothic Masquerade" party in the middle of downtown Salem, Massachusetts in the middle of October. Here's a picture of me and my fiancee, Kerri, at the party:

ROWR!

I'm, like, either a sexy tiny Zorro or a Robin gone emo.

As you can imagine, the party was..um...interesting.

Here are a couple of things we saw:

1) A very tall quite-obviously-gay man, dressed as a Nazi/German soldier dancing by himself with his John Lennon glasses pulled down to the tip of his nose as he looked at everyone over them.

I'm not saying John Lennon was a gay Nazi. I'm just saying that they wear the same shades.

2) A small bald man with a mask only covering his mouth, doing Tai Chi in the middle of the dance floor.

3) Batman

I was sad about seeing Batman because that was my original costume idea. I figured I could just tell the birthday girl I thought she said "Gotham Masquerade" party.

Although, we all felt safer with him there.

4) The Jimmy Dean commercial sun guy. See?

He's standing right behind me in this picture:

Although you can't see the rest of his ensemble, I can tell you that it included sandals and socks, and a dress.

Not a kilt. A dress.

As we were leaving I made it a point to tell him how much I enjoy his breakfast sandwiches, but did so well outside of earshot of Nazi erotic dancing guy with John Lennon sunglasses because you never know what will set those guys off.

I can only Imagine.