My laptop here at work is literally 7 years old and is pretty dog slow. This is mainly because of my excessive porn collection that has been encrypted and takes up all of my disk space, but whatever.
So I put in a request for a new one recently and have been waiting patiently while simultaneously increasing my encrypted porn collection.
That was, until this morning when I received this from IT:
I'm not about to go resetting all my passwords for all my work applications, but I'm also a bit hesitant to give this guy my password because, well, it's filthy.
Like, 'sex toy' filthy. But it has special characters and shit in it but the special characters make it look like the sex toy is having relations.
I'm nothing if not creative.
But short of having this guy sign a non-disclosure agreement and submitting himself to a lie detector test, the easier option was to just tell him what the password was. But first I needed to make sure that my password would not find it's way to the hot chick from Human Resources.
By the way, having a hot chick work in HR that you can't hit on is one of the Circles of Hell, I'm pretty sure.
I got this back and then, putting all my trust in Don, replied:
Then I started packing up my stuff because I was pretty sure I was going to be either walked out at any moment, or the HR woman would come and drag me to the lactation room where we would have wild relations.
I live in my own mind.
But, instead, I got this:
That's a sex toy, too.