2012: A Tattoo Odyssey

Alternate title of this post:

"I got another tattoo and owie owie owie owie mother hell crap shit that hurts"

WARNING: This post contains photos of my naked upper body so please make sure you are reading this somewhere that you can run off and "take care of yourself" without getting Human Resources all up in your shit.

Onward.

When we last left our hero (me), the decision to have a tattoo that would incorporate my kids' initials of "C" and "P" was in full swing.

And now?

IT'S DONE.

The final design we decided on that would incorporate both my kids' initials of "C" and "P" into something cool that didn't look like crap was this:


You can see the left dragon head and flame curling up making the "C" for "Cameron," and the body and right side of the dragon (and flame) making a "P" for "Payton."

Also? A two-headed fire-breathing dragon pretty much sums up my two children perfectly.

So I made the appointment with my tattoo witch, Lisa, over at Good Mojo Tattoos in Beverly, MA and brought my girlfriend Kerri along because I assumed that I needed something or someone to bite down on and it began.

THE STENCIL

The first part of the ordeal - I mean, 'getting a tattoo' is creating a stencil of it and putting it where you want it to go.


This took 3 tries and is not as easy as it sounds because this tattoo was on my back which required me to look into a mirror reflecting in another mirror and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY BALD SPOT ugh I should really start using Rogaine again and then I should probably lose 5 pounds because I have a bit of a muffin top and..

Lisa: "Jesus Christ will you just tell me if it's okay?"

It was okay.

Here's what the stencil looked like.


Next.

JUST A LITTLE PRICK

The title of this section also describes my personality in general but I'm referring to the starting of the tattoo here.

This begins with Lisa outlining the thing for half-an-hour and then saying, "Okay...that was just a run-through. I'm going to use ink now" and me shitting my pants and then her laughing and saying, "Just kidding. Outline is done."

Witches. Such cards.


Several times during the process my girlfriend would wipe my brow because I was sweating. She did this using a wet paper towel with the hand that I didn't break from squeezing.

Overall it wasn't that painful, as can be seen in this shot of my nonplussed expression:


Other captions include:

"Thank you sir, may I have another!"

"MORE LUBE!"

"This is what it sounds like when doves cry."

"Here we see the opposite of McDonald's 'I'm lovin' it!' slogan."

I'm considering turning this into a caption contest. Have at it in the comments.

INTERMISSION

I had to reverse-cowgirl the tattooing chair to have this done which gave me a wonderful glimpse at my arms so why should I let you guys lose out on that view?

RIGHT.


You almost can't tell that I'm sobbing just off-mirror.

THE FINAL PRODUCT

After about an hour and 15 minutes, Lisa finished.

Here's what it looked like fresh out of the chair:


Perfect.

I sent the pic to my kids via text and they were flipping out about how awesome it was. I can't wait for their reactions when they see it in person later today and their initials are forever emblazoned on my back.

So the pain? Totally worth it.

Would I do it again?

Fuck. No.

But if you want one, and are in the Beverly, Massachusetts area, I suggest you click on the link at the bottom of the page.

Tattooed Moooooog out.

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If you want a tattoo done by some wicked talented people and you're in the Massachusetts area, make sure you check out Good Mojo Tattoos and tell them the Midget Man sent ya:

Fire-Breathing Double-headed Pain - Part 3

When we last left our hero (me), the decision to have a tattoo that would incorporate my kids' initials of "C" and "P" was in full swing.

If you read the last chapter then you know I started heading the way of incorporating my kids "C" and "P" initials into some sort of dragon tattoo but still the concept of what I was looking for escaped me...until...

I took a shower.

I do a large number of things while I'm taking a steamy shower - some of which surprisingly do not include bodily fluids. One of these things I tend to do is draw and doodle on the shower doors or mirror when it's all steamed up.

Typically this just involves me drawing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and flying saucers and Ninja Turtles in flying saucers and sometimes Kama Sutra stuff (or a combo of all 3 things which gets REALLY freaky) but this time my thoughts turned to my tattoo and I somehow came up with this:


BAM.

You can see the left dragon head and flame curling up making the "C" for "Cameron," and the body and right side of the dragon (and flame) making a "P" for "Payton."

Also? A two-headed fire-breathing dragon pretty much sums up my two children perfectly.

I sent this off to my tattoo witch, Lisa, over at Good Mojo Tattoos and she gussied it up and added color and, well:



So, yeah. As I'm writing this, we're making the appointment to get this guy needled into my delicate yet manly skin within the next week or so.

By the time you read it, it will probably already be done and this may be a posthumous blog article you're reading because I'm a giant pussy and will probably die during the thing.

At least I'll have a cool tattoo on my corpse, though.

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UPDATE:

IT'S DONE.

I somehow survived. But it was not pretty. Me = giant wuss.

I have pics of the process and the final result up on my Facebook page... but will have a new post ready tomorrow that may or may not include a caption contest.

Also? It came out AWESOME.

Also also?

Ow.

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If you want a tattoo done by some wicked talented people and you're in the Massachusetts area, make sure you check out Good Mojo Tattoos and tell them the Midget Man sent ya: