So this is the one where I get followed on Twitter by all the celebrities after they read this.
Except Jessica Alba..she already follows me.
I SEE YOU IN THE BUSHES, JESS!
She be sneaky.
The latest rage for asshole lazy bloggers is to self-promote themselves by reposting some of their own Twitter Tweets as blog posts.
I am now stooping to this level.
Actually, I'm 5'-2" tall.
No stooping required. Already there.
Below are some of my very own Tweets that I've subjected my 12 followers to.
Click here for Volume One, Volume Two and Volume Three.
There's a skew on this one, though:
These Tweets all involve celebrity mentions.
Easter at Octomom's house: The worst. Egg hunt. Ever.
Do chicks really find Robert Pattinson attractive? He's like the bastard child of Crispin Glover and Jimmy Neutron
"Stallone and Schwarzenneger to co-star in "The Expendables."" I'm thinking they should rename it to "The Unintelligibles."
Bumsex is like Jada Pinkett Smith...so dark...so mysterious.
"Ricky Martin announces online that he's gay." In other shocking news: water is wet.
I know chicks dig Ty Pennington..but every time I see him I just want to knock him unconscious and then wet his stupid hair down.
Did anyone see Kate Gosselin dance horribly on DWTS? Like mom always said: A floppy labia = bad tango. We had horrible conversations.
Just tried making cookies with my daughter. They deflated horribly. So it's like I just made 5 batches of Geena Davis' breasts.
Happy Birthday, Sarah Jessica Parker. Or, as they say in your native tongue: "Naayyyy! Naaayy!" (stomp 4 times)
I'm just going to assume that Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite type of pasta was elbows.
Has NO one thought of "Ghost Hunters" with this health bill? More health care = less dead people. Less dead = LESS GHOSTS. Nice job, Obama.
Someday we're gonna die and find out that God is actually CarrotTop and then we'll have to apologize for being SO MEAN. Sucks.
"Oprah Winfrey must defend ex-headmistress's suit." Even Oprah is in on this Tiger Wood's thing. Oops. Sorry. Wrong type of head mistress.
Watching 'The Incredible Hulk.' Liv Tyler..wtf. Her lips say 'great BJ' but the overbite screams 'carrot peeler.' I'm on the fence.
Watching 'Fargo.' It's nice to know that even on those days you feel really really ugly, Steve Buscemi is there to make you feel like Fabio.
"Scientists discover 170 species of bacteria live in the avg person's digestive tract." This is half of Tara Reid's total on Sunday morning.
Kate Gosselin on People Magazine's 'Most Intriguing' list. I buy this only if "intriguing" means "bitchy with giant vagina."
News: "Men envy Tom Brady for his hair more than for his wife,Gisele." In related news, most surveys answered by bald gay men.
If you're linked to me on Facebook, you may have seen these as well.
If you want to find me in either place, click here.
Twitter at: http://twitter.com/moooooog35 or you can just click this button:
Find me at Facebook by clicking here:
You've been warned.