What's the answer to the title of this post?
Hint: It had nothing to do with paying attention to Child Impact Class.
Let me explain.
As part of the divorce decree, my ex-wife and I had to attend a MANDATORY seminar called the "Child Impact Program" which had more to do about how to treat your kids during and after a divorce and much less to do with how hard you can hit them before they cry.
I was thinking, like, a medium speed closed-fist punch and/or a 5 mph bump with a subcompact sedan but then the teacher was all "Are you serious?" and I'm all, "Ha. Um. No." and then he turned all red and was pretty adamant about being serious here because this was, after all, about the mental health of the children during this very difficult time.
THAT kind of "impact."
So..noting the seriousness of this class, here is how I spent my 3-1/2 hours when the ex-wife (OOPS..my "Co-Parent") and I weren't making fun of other people or getting yelled at for "disrupting the class."
Teacher = ASSHOLE.
Anyway...here's what my 3-1/2 hours of fucking around consisted of:
(click to enlarge images)
So, basically I started doodling as I'm wont to do when I'm bored or at work (redundant).
Once again, my fascination with fangs comes out and I'm not sure where that comes from because I'm totally Team Jacob but I have to tell you the picture of the teacher is pretty much spot-on except in this sketch he's not expressing his disappointment in me.
My ex-wife didn't think the "raising kids" thing was funny so I took the time to write next to it, "not funny" with an arrow just so I could apparently remind myself that - sometimes - she still doesn't get me.
So it was during the above doodle (SUCK IT, PICASSO) that my ex-wife and I were laughing at something and I wasn't even looking up because HAVE YOU SEEN HOW AWESOME THIS DOODLE IS?! and the teacher yelled at us for not paying attention.
Teacher = ASSHOLE.
So, by the time I was putting the finishing touches on my tornado/muppet scene on the back cover the teacher was wrapping up and we left class learning one valuable lesson:
Getting divorced is a PAIN IN THE ASS.
Next time, I'm bringing a sketch pad.