Doodler Dandy | Mental Poo

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Doodler Dandy


I have a confession to make to you all.

I can't..

I can't seem to stop myself.

It's a..COMPULSION.

I HAVE to do it.

I don't feel like a whole person unless I'm doing it.

Making the swirls...

..the..mmmm...the circles...

..the smooth strokes...

Yes, folks.

I'm a doodler.

No..no..

Not a DIDDLER.

That would be my dad and, honestly, I'd rather keep that part of my life a secret.

Oh.

Um.

Oops.


No, I'm just a doodler.

When I'm in a meeting, I doodle.

It's not like I'm not listening (it's EXACTLY like that), it's just that I can't stop drawing stupid shit on my notebook when other people are talking about something that I should probably be listening to because it might be important and relevant to my job, OH LOOK A LADYBUG, and oh shit I have to really get an oil change for my motorcycle soon and you know what? I think I'm gonna draw me a scary octopus.

I probably shouldn't go to meetings.


What the fuck was I talking about?

Oh.

Doodling.

So, normally there aren't pet ladybugs walking around in meetings craving my affection...

..so I end up drawing shit.

What do I draw?


Your guess is as good as mine.

Let's take a look at some of the ACTUAL shit I've drawn in my notebook during meetings:

(click to enlarge the images)




Apparently, I have some type of fetish with comets and shit that's flying at you.

Don't judge.

NEXT!


Um.

* cricket

Not a clue, there.

The best I can guess with this thing is it's some sort of crazed octo-squid-alien. I really have no fucking idea where I was going with that.

NEXT!


Oh..look. I actually know what this one is.

We were talking about one of our software agents that installs on a computer.

So, of course, I drew an agent.

Like, you know, a secret agent.

With creepy trenchcoat and everything.

Then I went to the trouble of writing 'Agent' just in case maybe someday archaeologists find this notebook and are all like, 'What do you think? Hieroglyphic symbol of their leader?' and the other guy would go, 'No..it's just an agent.'

Then to clarify this brilliant art even more, I wrote the word 'DOODLE' over my fucking doodle so now the archaeologists are all thinking, 'Oh this is just shit' and throwing their notebooks down and then going to check out naked pictures of Laura Dern.


NEXT!


This is an alien that was obviously ripped off from 'Toy Story' except I was all like, 'oh shit, Copyright infringement' and added 10 more eyes. SUCK IT, PIXAR!

NEXT!


I got nothin.'

So, that's just a few snippets of shit that's sitting in my notebook.

Comets and aliens and agents and octo-squids and flying boxes and faceless men riding giant dildos and shit.

Welcome to my head.

Scary shit, isn't it?

Hi. My name is Rodney.

And I'm a doodler.

I wonder what the archaelogists will think.

Moog out.

51 comments:

TJ Lubrano said...

Woohoo! Well I think it's cool to doodle! Yours look cool. I like the agent and it really helped to doodle 'doodle' in your notebook. You never know what thoughts come to mind when you look back to it! Mabe you would think it's a secret code from the FBI and that you need to go on a mission...on second thought. Maybe IT IS a secret code and you are assigned to a mission....

I doodle a lot myself ^_^. Usually eyes, small landscapes, or little characters. It depends on how bored I am.

Keep on doodling!!

The Peach Tart said...

OK its official now you are a nutcase and your doodling confirms it, but a lovable goofball nutcase.

adrienzgirl said...

It's called a creative outlet. You can't keep it all in. You try to share it via words, and your made up posters, but sometimes that just isn't enough. When you're in a meeting, you can't just say leave to go create so you have to create with what you have.

Oh yeah, the other part of it, ADD.

YOU NEED MEDS!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I tend to draw lots of monkeys in lab coats. One time I drew a monkey smoking a cigarette. I drew a dead monkey next to a hamster wheel and wrote "The day the server died..." next to it.

Yep. Monkeys are fucking funny.

Michael Rivers said...

I doodle the entire time. I can't help myself. It seems to help me focus on the meeting. My agenda is always filled with ink before the end of a meeting.

nothingprofound said...

It's either pull out a gun and start shooting or doodle. Doddling seems the preferable of the two.

JenJen said...

They'll think you are weird.

LBluca77 said...

I do the circle doodles too. I love that people think you are taking notes and very interested in the stupid shit they are telling you during a meeting, but you are just drawing a bunch of little circles.

Oh p.s. I deleted my blog. But don't be too sad I might be back with an entire new one.

Kaydee said...

your doodles are fantastic. archaeologists would be lucky to find such "art."

ass kissing complete.

that is all.

Mike said...

You sir, are designing my next tattoo.

Toe said...

I'm sad there were no doodles of unicorns and dragons. That's what I doodle in meetings and I label them with fancy names like Rinicor and Umblindor and they fight in battles on my note paper.

BTW: I like your agent. "Secret Agent Man, Secret Agent man" Totally went through my head when I saw him.

Ed Adams said...

Are those comets or are the really sperm?

Cause there's a difference.

I do find it a bit ironic, that you weren't paying attention in the meeting because you were doodling, but you also can't tell what you were doodling, because you weren't paying attention to that either.

Were you staring at Kristen's breasts again?

KIKI said...

I am going to have to agree with adrienzgirl - ADD and you need meds.

The drawings are great though, but seriously dude, seek help.

Moooooog35 said...

TJ: Thanks for narc'ing me out, woman.

Peach: Could be worse...

I could be doodling penises in my notebook.

Adrienz: I need meds?

Quite a revelation, there.

Mjenks:

* blink

Michael Rivers: You have an agenda?!

It sounds important. What is it? Is it tasty?

nothingprofound: preferable to WHO?

JenJen: That ship has sailed, woman.

Ship. Has. Sailed.

Lbluca: YOU LIVE?!?! Good to know.

Think you can buy a mug or something now? I can't give these fucking things away.

Kaydee: Ass kissing isn't complete until I say it is.

You were fine.

NEXT!

Mike: Awesome. I'm doodling a man eating a penis right now. It's all yours.

Toe: I can TOTALLY rock a dragon doodle but horses escape me.

Literally. Last one got killed on 93 South.

I cried.

Ed: Sperm..comet..what's the difference?

My sperm is just like a comet.

And just like Haley's, it comes once every 75 years.

KIKI: Don't deny it.

Chicks dig the doodles. I can tell.

Meds would just temper my creative mojo and you know you don't want that.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

Holy Shit! When did Hilary Duff become a vampire....check out those teef!

TJ Lubrano said...

Hehehe I was making a vague suggestion...and you telling me that I was narcing you out...just confirmed it. You did it yourself Moog ^_^.

Mike said...

Moooog: If you insist on pushing these homo erotic fantasies on me, I'm going to have to find me a new artist.

No matter how good a doodler you are.

Sorry man.

Lauren said...

nice box.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I'm a doodler. I find that huge doses of xanax with versed seem to stop the doodling...then you will be a drooler.

Malicious Intent said...

All this time....I have been so wrong about you.

You do not have the mentality of a 1st grader.

And I apologize for that mistake.

You have the mentality of a 3rd grader. Much more creativity there than I have give you credit for before.

My bad.

Coffeypot said...

I'm beginning to doodle a lot here recently. I guess I need to look into Depends or something.

Moooooog35 said...

Bird Shit: Mmmm...Hilary Duff.

Wait..how old is she? If she's not legal, please change that to "Mmmm...Miley Cyrus."

I'm not sure if that's any better.

TJ: You're crafty.

Mike: Yeah. That was a big push.

* rolls eyes

Lauren: I would like to say the same to you but Walgreens won't develop the pictures you sent claiming they're 'pornography.'

Asshats.

Lee: HA! I drool WITHOUT all that medication!

I'm not sure that's any better.

MI: YAY ME! Does this mean my Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus comments are okay?

Probably not.

Coffee: Dude..Depends is looking into YOU.

If, at some point, you figure out what I mean by that, please let me know.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I think those comets look a lot like sperm and they're heading for the sideways vagina. But maybe that's just because I read this blog too much. Maybe they're just sperm and the other thing is a sideways vagina. I'm pretty sure it's a sideways vagina.

Don said...

Is this like Yankee Doodle Dandy? Hell, if you have to doodle, doodle the noodle. At least you'll get something out of it.

bikramyogachick said...

Thanks for the glimpse into your head. I'm going to go turn all of the lights on now...

Knucklehead said...

Comets and aliens? I'm a cube and pyramid man myself.

Malach the Merciless said...

Your drawing creatures from Los Carcosa I tell you

Funnyrunner said...

LLOL. I actually admire your propensity to doodle. I've never been a doodler. One of those annoying over-achievers who has to pay attention, contribute, and brown nose.

I like your doodlers, and I'm sure archaelogists will like them, too.

The real question is: what will archaelogists think of your blog someday? hee hee.

Joshua said...

I used to do this. Actually did it all the way through high school. Never a problem then. Got written up for it at work recently. I love it when co-workers can't mind their own fucking business.

-Joshua

kys said...

You sure are better at it than I am. All I do are squiggles and circles. Bo-ring.

Janna said...

I found some sites that claim to analyze what's really going through your mind when you do certain kinds of doodles.
I found this and this.

Sadly, neither one mentioned octo-squid-aliens and sideways vaginas.

Still, I have my theories.

L'uragano (The Hurricane) said...

It's a sideways VULVA -- not a vagina and those "comets" look like deformed penises or sperms on steroids. Your call.

surveygirl46 said...

Basically by your doodling totally random shit (except for the man riding the giant OBVIOUS penis, and the creepy child - i see a connection there..) what you're telling the world is that you find your staff meetings a horribly long and stiflingly boring preveiw into what an eternity in hell might be like. I understand. I wish they'd just video tape their "meetings" and let us "be there" at our leisure. I for one tend to absorb a lot more info if it's playing in the background while i'm filing my nails or shooting up some heroin - then if it's forced on me.

Moooooog35 said...

MikeWJ: Are you saying I'm a sideways vagina artisan?

"Sideways Vagina Artisans" would be a great name for a rock band.

Don: See my reply to Peach above. You're welcome.

bikramyogachick: Whoa..you know it's scarier in here in the dark, right?

Knucklehead: Amateur.

Malach: Once..just once...I'd like you to leave a comment that I didn't have to Google to figure out wtf you were talking about.

Thanks in advance!

Funnyrunner: I'm hopeful that they'll find my blog amidst a pile of my best seller books and a giant wad of cash and Playboy bunnies.

Joshua: You got written up AT WORK?! Dude..that has 'revenge keyboard sneeze' written all over it.

Kys: Squiggles and circles is my finishing move. Wait..what are we talking about?

Janna: Here's what's going through my mind when I doodle:

"..uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh...."

* drools

L'uragano: Isn't the vulva part of the vagina? Have I been doing it wrong all these years?!?

Figures.

Surveygirl: If Hell has a notebook and a Bic, I'm good to go.

Brndoutw8ress said...

You crack me up! Check my spot out I left a little something there for you!

Me-Me King said...

Is everyone that's been here blind! Those aren't comets, that's sperm!

JD at I Do Things said...

I'm impressed with your sideways vagina (and that's not even the first time today I've typed that sentence).

When I doooooodle, it's usually smiling suns with sunglasses or a friendly turtle wearing a top hat. I do love the occasional 3-D box, tho.

Matt said...

Wow. You're like a fucking professional. Those are very nice doodles.

I doodle a little myself. Not alot, but from time to time- I dabble.

They say geniuses doodle. Obviously thats true.

JenJen said...

revenge sneeze??

totally gnarly.

w00t

Joshua said...

Revenge sneeze, no. I did her one better. See, I could stand on the desk in my office, push aside the ceiling tile, move a second tile just the other side of the wall, and see into her office. This was not as easy as it sounds, as I had to put a chair on my desk. Luckily, I had my own office. And even better that her office was right next to mine. So, I went in on a Saturday that my wife was out of town and spent the entire day filling balloons with months worth of hole punch circles from our electric hole punching machine. I then proceeded to blow up enough confetti-filled balloons and drop them into her office until it was full. Literally. Floor to ceiling balloons. The best part was that she had to let the air out somehow and wasn't that bright. Imagine the mess left by 350 confetti-filled balloons. Probably the best prank I ever pulled in my 3.5 years at that place.

-Joshua

Jay Ferris said...

I'm a nonstop meeting doodler as well. And curiously enough, I too draw comet-like objects all the time. Although they usually look a lot more like flaming baseballs about to make contact with the head of whoever is running said meeting.

meleah rebeccah said...

I think I am in love with your secret agent ESPECIALLY because of his creepy trenchcoat!

A said...

I just cried. Love the "doodle/agent" page.

surveygirl46 said...

@MEME - I KNEW they were sperm, but isn't it illegal to say SPERM on the internet>?

Vodka Logic said...

doodlers actually learn more when distracted...I read that somewhere I am sure.

I usually doodle the cursive L...go figure

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

i am listening to my 7 year old read while i am reading this post

i don't know which is more painful

doodle freak

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i doodle like you rows of circles all the time.

over and over and over again on my notepads.

it was a lot worse before the internet was invented and became portable.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I play backup guitar. If you've can sing, drum, play lead or bass, I think we're halfway there. Move over U2 and Pearl Jam -- Sideways Vagina Artisans is coming up!

Moooooog35 said...

Brndout: Thanks, woman! I shall put it on my awards page post haste!

And by 'post haste' I mean 'when I get around to it.'

Me-Me: Again...chicks and sperm...it's like you women are obsessed.

JD: The turtle in a top hat...you sure that's not a penis?

Matt: I knew you were going to say that because I'm a genius.

MY GOD. YOU'RE RIGHT!

JenJen: Yes. W00t..what? Oops. Wh@t?

Joshua: You need a hobby.

Jay Ferris: We may be related. Do you also draw sideways vaginas, because that would cement it.

Meleah: Chicks LOOOOOOVE the secret agent types.

A: I just cried, too. Lion King is SO sad in the middle.

Wait. What?

surveygirl: Yes it is illegal. Don't answer your door.

Vodka: Does that mean you're obsessed with Laverne & Shirley?

Speaking: I've listened to 7 year olds read. THAT is more painful.

Alexa: The Internet is portable? I can take the entire thing with me?

Do you know if it's acceptable as carry-on luggage?

MikeWJ: I can sing AND drum and juggle. I say we use all three.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

in all honesty, i could be here forever with all the crap you've got going on at this blog, i love reading it all, but i just don't have the time

you should totally be famous

it's probably your i-used-to-be-fat paired with the short man's mentality that's keeping you back

sigh

Daffy said...

I'm totally late to this party but its cool because I'm fashionably late.... I didn't read any of the other comments so if I duplicate someone its because I thought of it first and they just poached the brain waves of a smart girl...

Archaelogists would this you wasted a gross amount of productivity time but applaude you for your skill in luring your employer to believe you were earning your paycheck that day. Archaelogists would also know that you aren't a professional drawer cuz those pics sux

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