Midget Porn, Yahoo and the Crazy European Serial Killer Tutor | Mental Poo

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Midget Porn, Yahoo and the Crazy European Serial Killer Tutor

Sometimes life hands you lemons.

I know I'm supposed to make lemonade but, SCREW YOU, LIFE..seriously? LEMONS?!

Life can be an ASSHOLE.

And then sometimes life hands you strange European guys who send you Yahoo Messenger Friend Requests out of the blue...

..and then you accept said European guy's friend request because even though you've seen the movie "Hostel" and are now scared of everything European you're pretty sure this is legit.

Well..

You get THIS:



I have not a clue who this guy is.

So I click on the link and it's this picture:



Ironically, this is a picture from another post I did forever ago about messed up Yahoo Messenger messages.

God makes me laugh sometimes.

We continue...



In yet ANOTHER strange twist...

This is NOT the first time I've been IM'd randomly out of the blue regarding midgets and sex.

You want my life, don't you?

Onward..



Here is the picture I found:


SEXY ASIAN BOY!

*cricket



So then European serial killer midget porn guy signs out and I'm just sitting here staring at this entire conversation thinking "THANK YOU, GOD - THIS MADE MY WHOLE DAY" when I look over at the guy's Yahoo avatar:



Yep.

Total European midget porn watching serial killer tutor.

SO GLAD HE'S ON MY BUDDY LIST!!

Stay tuned.

30 comments:

Knight said...

GOD DAMN YOU! I'm laughing so hard at work I fell off my chair and everyone is staring at me. I choked up the words midget porn and I'm sure this will be my last day now. Thanks asshole.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

You are seriously rocking the net these days dude!!! You know the google search I sent you with your name and now this?? Hmmm.. wonder if it's the same person??

SO HOTT!

Opto-Mom said...

If he wants to be in gay midget porn, he's gonna need about a gallon of hot wax on that bush coming out of his banana hammock.

Never mind, he wouldn't know what a gallon was. Communists!

meleah rebeccah said...

"Just send a smurf in to check it out" ..... is cracking me up.

And so does "Jackie Chan in a banana hammock".

But mostly, I think it's HYSTERICAL ] you are now buddies with said, European midget porn watching serial killer tutor.

SisterMerryHellish said...

Damn that's messed up and hilarious!

Is it possible bente is really your long lost, midget porn loving, mutant penis cat owning, half brother and he's, you know, trying to test the waters as to whether or not you'd be open to a little family reunion/"Hostel" reenactment?

If he doesn't kill you imagine what the Christmas cards wil look like!

Awesome.

Now, stop badmouthing IHOP.

Eva Gallant said...

(Just sitting here shaking my head in disbelief!)

Dr. Cynicism said...

You're dedication to training this guy to be even MORE creepy is the sign of a true mentor and scholar - I commend you good sir.

Justus Steel said...

well done. i'm new to your blog, but i'm looking forward to reading more.

Jeremy from We Took The Bait said...

I'm with SisterMerryHellish.

To paraphrase Will Ferrell as James Lipton, eating an IHoP steak omelette is like staring into the face of God, and having him smile back and say "This is my most wonderful creation."

Elly Lou said...

I hate it when Jackie Chan looks better in my underwear than I do. *sigh*

Kris said...

ahahah oh man this was hilarious! I do not even know where to begin!

Kage said...

ugh. i dunno what's creepier, the cat or the killer.

Big Fat Gini said...

I realized a long time ago (like, circa 2000) that every creeper in the world has a Yahoo! account. It's like the Mecca for weirdos. Especially weirdos with creepy cat tail/penis avatars.

pattypunker said...

that giant furry cat penis is way too international for me. fucking hilarious!

Moooooog35 said...

Knight: You're welcome.

Midwestern: Jesus, woman. Hide your lust at least a little!!

Opto: I know. They can't even spell 'liter' right.

Meleah: You so want me.

Sister: I LOVE IHOP.

Everything I say, I say out of love.

Eva: You should have seen me.

Dr.Cynicism: I'm really quite the role model, you're correct.

Justus: Christ. You want MORE?!

No pressure, though, dude. The fuck.

Jeremy: I often think the same thing about Scarlett Johansson.

Elly: You sound hot.

Kris: Welcome to my life.

Kage: Why..do we have to choose?

Gini: Um..you realize he got ME on Yahoo, right?

Of course you do.

Patty: Come on. You know you love the furry cat penis.

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

Just think, to your new friend, you are America.

Vodka Logic said...

Awww wish I was a yahoo friend of yours... maybe.

DOG3OY said...

if you become close friends he might stuff a live midget in a box and fedex it over to you.... crazy EU dwellers

Rhetoric Camel said...

I never came across your page by googling midget porn, or tranny midget porn.

Malach the Merciless said...

He's right, blogger sucks

MommaKiss said...

i'm just pissed you don't IM me.

seriously.

such an asshole.

even after i porned you.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Yeah, that cat avatar is just wrong. But admit it, you're kinda pissed that you didn't think of it first, aren't you?

Fragrant Liar said...

Um, yeah. The first thing, the VERY first thing I noticed about your post with the midget porn fetish guy was his pussy.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I am not sure what is most disturbing, the images of midget penis or bente dude's avatar which to me looks like cat with a furry penis or am I just really really tired.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I don't know what to say about your exchange with little Jackie Chan. I'm at a loss for words. That's one weird conversation, Mr. Poo. I hope you're not killed by a Kung-Fu midget's hard-on a week from now.

Steyny said...

hahaaa...funny shit.

moooog; you are not alone, i guess YIM is full of crazy people cause i got IMed out of blue too by a crazy chick yesterday. Its not funny as yours but it made my day. Have a look

http://steyny.blogspot.com/2010/11/craziest-chick-ive-ever-seen-ims-me-out.html

PS: i hope that won't count as advertising, i want u to read that shit ehehee

The Absence of Alternatives said...

I knew I did the right thing of uninstalling Yahoo altogether when we got a computer for the kids!

Awww you made a new friend. Good for you! You are like the Ambassador to the European Union now. You know people in the embassy get away with murder right? So yeah practicing midget porn definitely falls within the guidelines. By the way the whole crawling into a penis to detect illness thing reminded me of David Sedari's new story "The Grieving Owl".

FINALLY, the guy's totally a fake European. I am 1.68 meter and I know I am 5'7". I am so happy you are still alive: He's most likely a Euro Serial killer.

Kat Cannon said...

European cats are clearly as suspicious as their European owners ;)

(P.S ~ Just found this blog & very much enjoying myself here! Thanks!)

A Vapid Blonde said...

That cat has a really furry cock.

lex [lexinthecity] said...

Can I first reword what A Vapid Blonde said to "That pussy has a really furry cock." Might be the last time I can ever say that. Sigh.
Now, the first thing I thought was "YOU OPENED THE LINK!?!? Have you gone MAD?" But, you did. You opened the link from the midget-porn-crazed serial killer who now probably has complete access to your life. If I could pay a doctor to say "We'll just send a smurf on up there," my life would be complete.

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