I'm taking a Thanksgiving break.
So, to keep you entertained and busy while I'm gone...
I'm giving you some homework to do.
But first...a little cross-promotion here.
1) The Midget Man Gets Fashionable
On Thursday, December 3rd, I'll be at Jillian's in Manchester, NH for The Whiskey Girls Finalist Fashion Show.
No, I'm not in it.
Not like I wouldn't take home the friggin' gold, but whatever.
No - I'm covering the show for The Whiskey Girls - a bunch of hot, Harley chicks who raise money for charitable causes. If you have a charitable cause, give 'em a ring - because they travel.
If you're in the vicinity of Manchester, NH on December 3rd - come by and meet me and The Whiskey Girls.
My friend Kristin will be there, too...but knowing her, she'll be in the bathroom for most of the night pooping.
2) Thanksgiving, and the Question-and-Answer Period
Let me just wish all of you a great Thanksgiving (for you in the States), and I'll see you back here on Monday.
If you're a Native American reader, though, let me offer my condolences and wish you a joyous 'Backstabber Massacre Day' or whatever your medicine man calls it.
Whatever. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm hoping mine is better than last year's, as I'm not following Alton Brown's recipe for salmonella poisoning.
What an asshole.
Although, aside from massive runs, it DID give me a great idea for my first ever contest.
So, I guess I have him to to thank.
Doesn't change the fact that he's still an asshat, but whatever.
Why am I so damn sexy?
Why is my penis so friggin' LARGE?
Why do I lie about my crazy sexiness and penis size?
You want the answers?
Then ask the questions.
Yes - I'm introducing a new bit today called:
Q&A with the Moog!
It doesn't have quite the ring of "Ask Jeeves," but screw Jeeves and the horse he rode in on.
That's not an insult.
That's actually what we do here in New Hampshire.
Regardless...I got this idea from OHMommy over at Classy Chaos.
Just so you know, "OHMommy" stands for "Ohio Mommy" and not:
"Oh...mommy....oh mommy...oh, oh...oh mommy..."
Man...that brings back some memories of my childhood.
If I ever meet a blogger named "OHDaddy," I'm going to need some serious therapy to handle THOSE flashbacks.
"I'm going to use lube,"he says.
Regardless, OHMommy introduced a section where people can ask her questions about herself, her family, job, whatever...and she answers them.
I thought it would be cool to do here...as most people know only the following things about me from this blog:
1) I shave my junk (a.k.a., "moogscaping")
2) I'm short
3) I like to go poo recreationally or - in certain parts of the red light district - sometimes I'll do it for money
Other than that, I'm a pretty closed book.
So, if you want to know something about me, go nuts.
You can ask in the comments section, click the picture below, or just email me here: and title the email "Q&A".
I'm not looking for 'Dear Moog' letters (although you're always encouraged to write one), but it's the only graphic I had..so suck it.
These should be questions you want to ask about ME.
Who I am. What I do. What makes me tick. Why I have that tic (kids). Etc., etc., etc.
...excuse me while I go shave my giant sexy penis.