Let's Rewind the Tape!! | Mental Poo

Monday, November 01, 2010

Let's Rewind the Tape!!

For my regular readers (YAY, FIBER!) you know that I take karate classes.

You will know this from:

The time I entered a karate tournament with my son.

The time I beat Jesus in one-on-one combat at said karate tournament.

The time I shattered my hand in karate.

The time I broke my hand AGAIN in karate.

Yes. I broke it TWICE.

My regular readers also know that I don't learn from my mistakes.

Hey...my hand still hurts but the Jesus thing makes it all worthwhile.

That's what she said.


On Friday nights my son and I go to class, gear up and fight other people.

Violence = male bonding.

But since I have BOTH my kids on Fridays now, my daughter is reluctant to come along.

So I came up with THIS brilliant idea:

Me: "Payton, why don't you run the VIDEO CAMERA while Cam and I fight."

Payton: "REALLY?!"

Me: "Yes. It's important. That way, we can review the video to see maybe where we went wrong."

She loved the idea. I actually loved the idea. To be able to review your mistakes and missed opportunities (like golfers do) and make corrections for next time.

Until I saw what she taped.


Thanks, honey.

That should really help hone my skills for my rematch against Jesus.

That's what she said.

Nope. Still doesn't make any sense.

Moog out.


Ziva said...

Awesome. She has a certain Tarantino-like flare for the dramatic, young Payton. I predict she will go far. Or however far it is to the closest mental asylum, at least. Cute kid, though.

Vinny C said...

Great! Now I'M doing the finger "can-can" dance on my desk. It isn't the worst production I've seen, though.

Dazee Dreamer said...

a future midget in training. Loved it!!!!

Unknown said...

She is so cute! I think the problem is she got bored with the total lack of actual sparring!

Opto-Mom said...

Oh my God! The film-making was, like, profound, you know? I mean, it, like, really touched me, you know what I mean? Like, I haven't been touched like that since...I was drunk and ran into Moooooog in that alley.

Oh, and your son totally kicked your ass!

Janene Murphy said...

Hey! At least it kept her entertained. When one of my sons was eight, I let him shoot some footage and all I got back was women's boobs and butts. Remember, it could have been worse!

Unknown said...

Love your daughter's name "Payton" like pay a ton. I kid. I was going to comment on your farmer's tan and nice looking pythons but I forgot you are short so, I won't.

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

Ah... Payton's a chip off the old block, isn't she! I don't know about the sparring, but Payton's got some awesome moves there!

Brutalism said...

I laughed. I cried. And then I wept because I had no shoes.

Give me a break...I'm a little short on Jesus references...

Christina_the_wench said...

You bore her. Can you not see this?It's a girl thing. We're not really into macho bonding unless there is blood. Spice it up. Slash something. Lose a tooth. Check him into the mat.

Ok, no more hockey games for me.

Knight said...

This reminded me of watching The Ring. So I guess we will all die in the next seven days or something. Evil child. I like her.

Diva's Thoughts said...

Dagnabit! I can't see the video at work. I'll check it out when I get home.

Moooooog35 said...

Ziva: I pegged her for more of a Monty Python instead of Tarantino.

Vinny: Mine moonwalk.

Dazee: Tis how we roll.

Eva: What she DID try to catch in actual sparring was more like 'ceiling.'

Opto: I don't hang out in alleys.


Janene: I'm confused. How is footage of boobs and butts WORSE?

Wannabe: I prefer the pale look so sue me.


Boom Boom: She is a character.

Brutalism: You cried? Do you need consoling?

Christina: Um..did you NOT see my hand picture there?

Knight: Yes. So now you must pass along the video.

Tag. You're it.

Tee: Dagnabit?

What's wrong with you?

Elly Lou said...

I'm all about the finger legs and the Jaws theme music. And Adam's apple. Really, I'm just disoriented and slightly nauseous from the vertigo.

Coffeypot said...

Now that was awesome. She not only makes better videos than you, she is prettier, too...tho not quiet as feminine as you.

Peggy Sue Brister said...

That's funny. My kids love to video tape themsleves too. Every time I go to use my camera I am having to delete videos of my kids taping themselves doing mundane everyday shit like painting fingernails or drawing a karate guy. I mean like 8 or 10 minute videos too. They love rewatching themselves on tape. Your daughter is cute.

meleah rebeccah said...

Payton is adorable. And she obviously knows how to entertain herself whilst behind the camera lense.

PS: You have some nice 'guns'.

Mike said...

Your daughter has the short attention span. This is typical of most women, including the adult variety.

pattypunker said...

my hand always hurts after i beat jesus, too. dude never says die.

life in the mom lane said...

Twenty years from now when she is accepting her first academy award this will be worth a lot of $$$$$ better make extra copies of this video....

J.J. in L.A. said...

My niece wants to name her baby (due in Feb.) Payton. At first, I was like, "Meh!" Now, I'm a fan! What a doll!

You'll be a proud papa when she's directing her 1st horror flick.

Rico Swaff said...

Were you by chance matched up against a shark in this karate fight?

MommaKiss said...

Tell the kid not to quit her day job, MmmKay? And for the love of christ, lose that picture of your hand. It's fucking disgusting.

Opto-Mom said...

Payton has TOTALLY got that "my little brother bugs the shit out of me" eye roll going on!

Katherine said...

OK, your daughter's video had me laughing outloud! I must admit to having one time turned the camera, so I GET that... My favorite part? The walking legs in front of the scene. LOVE IT!

Malach the Merciless said...

Thats what you get for fighting children

Anonymous said...

Your daughter and my Ellen went to the same cine classes... I must dig that clip out, I didn't realise it had blog value.


SisterMerryHellish said...

What she lacks in video skills she makes up for in enthusiasm...and eye rolling.


Pat said...

This was pretty funny. Let's just hope she doesn't want to be a camera operator when she grows up!

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