Bitter Baking Blackmail, Part Deux | Mental Poo

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Bitter Baking Blackmail, Part Deux


On Monday I wrote about how I apparently have some weird confectionery antagonist over at The Bitter Baking Company who - after caving in to my hollow threats and amazing pectorals - agreed to send me some of their cookies in lieu of litigation over their use of my term, "Holemates."

This is actually good news because I can't afford shit, let alone a lawyer trying to defend me against a giant cookie conglomerate.

Regardless, victory in hand I came home to find my mailman/woman (can't really tell, to be honest with you) dropping off my package of blackmail cookies.

That's when I looked to see that my arch nemesis, Erin, over at The Bitter Baking Company was still going for my sexy sexy jugular:


It's at this point that I'm starting to realize that Erin and I have some weird sexual tension going on that involves baked goods and sarcasm and, let's be honest here, isn't that the best kind?

I'm actually asking you guys. I have no idea.

Then I open that package and LO! there are two packs of cookies and one has my stolen term written on it just to rub my damn nose in the whole thing:


That's when I notice the message attached to one of the packs of cookies:


Amazing.

(please note that my first iteration of the above picture had a typo in it - karma, you are a total bitch)

You gotta love a company that (a) not ONLY gives in to your demands for free cookies based on hollow threats and several emailed self-portraits of yourself getting out of the shower but (b) has a great sense of humor about all this crap and plays along SO WELL.

Also, the cookies were nummy. So that helps.

Go get some cookies and tell Erin that I sent you.

Chick digs me.

*****************
UPDATE!!

Erin was kind enough to give YOU, my readers, a discount of 50% off orders equal or above $18.00 through 2/29/12!!

To take advantage of this offer, go to The Bitter Baking Company and order some stuff.

Then type "blackmail" in the Discount Code box and - voila! - cheap, sarcastic cookies!!

You're welcome.

28 comments:

NellieVaughn said...

Invite me to the wedding! Oh, it'll happen.

Trucking Tumbleweed said...

Erin is awesome. And she totally has your number. Really. You should probably move.

SarcasmInAction said...

Does Erin have a blog yet??
The cookies look great. I'm getting me some.

Deb Thaxton said...

-->You need to send cookies to Gene Lavanchy.

deb

jack mehoff said...

turn up the creep factor and (if you havent already) ask for a pic

share said pic with us here.

we'll wait.

MommaKiss said...

I can't believe you pointed out her mistake in the note.
Actually, I can. You're an asshole.

Not to mention - sexual tension? Duh - she drew a smiley with a tongue hanging out. That's universal for "I want to bang you."

Knight said...

Damn! I thought Erin totally wanted ME. We can share, right?

Vivian Pitschlitz said...

Hey what do you know, a company run by humans with humour and not zombie robots.

Moooooog35 said...

Also, the cookies? NUMMY.

Jenbug said...

I think it's supposed to say 'I think it's supposed to say "I'm SURE there's someone..." but I will cut her some slack here because, well: AWESOME.' Unless you want to cut a bitch and give her slack... But I wouldn't piss off the free cookie giver. She might taketh away. And then we're ALL sad.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Goddamn, man. I never get tasty cookies in the mail. All I ever get are bank statements rubbing in how little cash I have and questionable underwear from Japan. Um... did I say that out loud?

COOKIES!

Steve Bailey said...

Oh that is freekin hilarious!!! And yes cooking and sexual tension always go hand in hand...
You should see the sexual chemistry me and Chef Boyardee have...

Brett Minor said...

I never thought that tactic would work. I am going to start a letter writing campaign to my local Harley dealership. See if I can score a sympathy Dyna Wide Glide.

Eva Gallant said...

Score!!!

Carmen said...

The wedding will be televised, correct?

Erin is BADASS

Knight said...

So did you happen to see the comment on her facebook page where she said if you lived closer there would be make up sex? Yeah.

Christina_the_wench said...

*perk*

Cookies and sex? Wha?

The Bitter Baking Company said...

BBCo rebuttle: http://www.bitterbakingco.com/blogs/news/5674842-blackmailer-receives-cookies-but-only-cares-about-box-labels-and-grammar

Lindsay Schultz said...

Perfect birthday present for husband THANK YOU

SurferWife said...

She's sending ME -- THREE batches. What now, MMoS?

meleah rebeccah said...

fan-fucking-tastic.

AccordingtoJewels said...

I adore this whole situation! LOL. I'll have to run over and check out her cookies. :)

Simone Says... said...

how sweet - you and erin are holemates!

and yum, thanks for the discount!

Monica said...

You have no idea how bad ass hilarious Erin is!!! And cookies.....past NUMMY..... Hahaha about the sexual tension!!!!! And I am gettin my cookie on yet again!!!

middle child said...

Food and sarcasm. Oh yeah. Someone is flirting their ass off!

ClevelandPoet said...

it's hard not to have typos when mesmerized by your overwhelming sexiness. I know whenever I comment it takes like 6 tries to get it correct.

notactuallygod said...

I don't think I'd trust 'blackmail cookies'. Hope you made sure any chocolate chips in them were actually chocolate! (Doody you know what I mean?)

MommaKiss said...

just bought a bunch, thanks to the blackmail code - it almost covered shipping!

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