This is your 15 minutes of fame, people. Time to grab that golden ring.
Or, in this case, yummy cookie.
The lovely (no idea) and talented (meh) cookie goddess (true) over at The Bitter Baking Company and I have come up with..
..wait for it..
A CONTEST AND GIVEAWAY.
If you don't remember how The Bitter Baking Company and I got started, you can find the first time I accosted her here... and her reply here...naked pictures of Scarlett Johansson here...and then I got my own line of cookies here. No shit.
So while I'm on vacation this week, we're having a contest.
THE CONTEST
See this cookie?
CAPTION IT.
That's it. If you check out The Bitter Baking Company's site, and my page in particular, you'll see the type of stuff we're looking for.
Like this:
THE RULES
Meh. Nothing really. Just THINK FUNNY.
You can enter as many times as you'd like.
Just keep entering captions in the comment section below. Birthday cookie...anniversary cookie...vasectomy cookies...Christmas...sympathy... whatever. YOUR CHOICE.
Also..if you enter a caption, make sure I can get back to you. If you don't want to put your name in the comments, email it to me at midgetmanofsteel@yahoo.com.
WHAT THE WINNER GETS
Next week Erin and I will vote on the best caption and announce a winner.
The winner gets their cookie immortalized on The Bitter Baking Company's website and you...?
You get 6 custom cookies of your choice delivered to wherever or whoever you want.
Sound good? Yeah, I think so, too.
Have at it, you sick bastards. THINK FUNNY.
Good luck. We're all pulling for you.
But don't worry, we'll wash our hands before we make the cookies.
See you on the flip side.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Caption this Cookie. Win some cookies. Become IMMORTAL.
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26 comments:
Love the cookies -- purchased some for my hub for father's day -- big hit!! A few (I set the bar low on purpose to make others feel better. You're welcome.)
~ Jen
Caption: I was going to say 'I'm sorry' but it was totally your fault.
Caption: What the FUCK?
Caption: Condolences on your woman's breast reduction.
Eat my shortbreads!
I crumble when I look at you!
A cookie for your thoughts.
Cookie-doodle doo!
-->
Caption: I'm embarrassed for you.
This isn't semen, it's frosting.
I ordered some of these cookies for my sister's birthday, and she loved them!
caption: Mom always liked me best!
BITE ME!
Now that'd be a funny cookie! Make a batch...take them to work....
Oh wait...I think Travis' is awesome!
Happy Anniversary. Figured I'd give you a cookie since you're not getting blow jobs anymore.
Travis deserves a cookie. That's hilarious. I've ordered a few batches now and received one as well. They are delicious! Which inspires the cookie...
"I know how much you like to be the receiver."
but that would really apply more to women and gay couples.
How about "Male Enhancement Vitamins" ?
Pick Me Up And Eat Me.
Sink Your Tooth Into This.
About Last Night: I Took The Dough and Beat It.
You Think It's Frosting, But It Snot.
Was The Banger Sisters Really Your Autobiography?
Ancestory.com called. Lucy wants to meet.
You have Van Gogh's Ear for Music.
You need to put up with what I put out.
Whatever they say, you are perfectly mediocre.
(Birthday) The condom factory called with their apologies.
Your the reason God created a middle finger.
If you shoved this up your ass, would you enjoy it more?
Caption: Nookie? Oh... I thought you said Cookie.
Caption: You've got Mediocre down to a science
Caption: Face it, you're a slut.
Caption: Face it, You're an A-hole
Caption: I was going to buy you Viagra but figured it would be wasted in your hands.
Caption: Sorry about giving you an STD. Here's a cookie. Are we good?
Caption: Welcome to Loserville, Population: You
Caption: No Matter How Many Cookies You Don't Eat You'll Still Be Fat.
Caption: Cookie Monster This, Bitch.
Caption: How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Center?
Caption: This One Night Stand Thanks You For Your Voluntary Vasectomy.
Caption: You Can't Conceive Kids But You Can Consume A Cookie.
Caption: I Apologize For The Blue Balls.
Caption: This Cookie Doesn't Go In Raw.
Caption: Eat Me, You'll Forget You Were A Mistake.
Caption: I Wasn't Kidding When I Said I Didn't Want Kids.
Caption: Fuck You, Mrs. Fields.
Caption: You Can Have Your Cookie and Eat It Too.
Caption: Happy Still Screwing Only One Person Day.
Caption: I Will Eat Cookies In Front Of Anorexics.
Caption: You Gave Up Cookies For Lent? You're A Dumbass.
Caption: And On The Fifth Day This Cookie Rose To My Mouth.
Caption: I'd Give Kids Razor Blades Before Giving Away These Cookies For Halloween.
Caption: If You Cremate Him You Can Buy More Cookies.
Caption: I Have A Better Relationship With This Cookie Than I Do With People.
Caption: You Were Adopted, Have A Cookie.
Big Cookie, Small Penis
About My STD...
Diabetes
One of these cookies was spit on.
Paula Deen Diabetes Special
Crumble and Snort
For You, Fatty
You Are Too Fat For Roses
Coyote Ugly
Put Over Your Face While We Have Sex
Sorry About Your Small Package
Sorry Your Boobs Are Small
"No one gives a Shit-zu that its your dog's birthday"
"Happy So Glad your Dad and Mom had hot monkey sex and made you" Day!
Congrats! I can't believe someone actually wanted to have sex with you.
Happy father's day to the first man to touch my va-jay-jay.
This cookie is awesome! Unlike you.
Congratulations on the lip fungus starting to clear.
Facial hair isn’t for everybody.
This vacuum cleaner sucks like you.
Remember, you can’t spell coukiey without Y O U
First person to find the cookie laced with LSD wins! And I mean wins.
These cookies are made out of vegans.
Many Bothans died to bring you this cookie.
Many Keebler Elves died to bring you this cookie.
Caption: I bought you a damn cookie, now show me your boobs
Caption: For your birthday it was either a llama or these cookies...llama's are hard to mail.
Caption: If you can stop masturbating to internet porn for half a minute...have a cookie
Caption: Sorry I killed your goldfish when we were kids.
Caption: Cheer up, I hear eventually we will all have herpes.
Caption: I think we should see other cookies. (It's not me, it's you)
Vibrator Broke?
Here's a cookie.
"This cookie isn't as good as the football tickets you gave the other boys, Coach Sandusky"
"You're already fat. Just eat me."
"Only one cookie in a dozen ever touches the floor!"
Anniversary. "You probably wanted nookie, instead I give you cookies"
Birthday "Cookies! Because we all know you're too fat for cake"
Anniversary. "You probably wanted nookie, instead I give you cookies"
Birthday "Cookies! Because we all know you're too fat for cake"
Congratulations on not pissing me off today.
Did it hurt...when you fell into the toilet?? You piece of shit!
I feel like if that doesn't fit on one cookie, it should be a series that starts off misleading haha since everyones first thought is *-* 'when I fell from heaven?? *blush* and then the next cookie is like shitting on them...then the last part seals the deal for the slow cookies that are still trying to figure out what divine entity falls into a toilet.hahahaha
:-x
Did it hurt...when you fell into the toilet?? You piece of shit!
I feel like if that doesn't fit on one cookie, it should be a series that starts off misleading haha since everyones first thought is *-* 'when I fell from heaven?? *blush* and then the next cookie is like shitting on them...then the last part seals the deal for the slow cookies that are still trying to figure out what divine entity falls into a toilet.hahahaha
:-x
At some point in the future, porn with landing strips and completely bare hoo-has will be seen a gross.
Life sucks have a cookie and take a nap.
Keep your ginger snaps out of the sun.
I bet boy scout cookies are salty.
Sorry about that night in jail.
I'm really Unicorn poop.
Sometimes I try to imagine we get along.
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