Motivational Filler - Barbarism | Mental Poo

Friday, November 13, 2009

Motivational Filler - Barbarism


Motivate THIS.

(points at crotch)

Nothing to see here today...

...except a custom "motivational poster" made by yours truly over at Big Huge Labs.


...I have no idea how I made it almost 40 years without finding this thing.

Here's today's poster for you (click to enlarge (that's what she said)):'s mean.

But it's okay.

When I was a kid, I used to get punished on the "Slide of Small Penises."

Worst. Slide. Ever.

Really bumpy.

If you want to see all of my custom posters, click here.

If you like them, feel free to post them on your site.

Just give me some credit.

God knows my bank won't.



I forgot about some housekeeping, per usual.

I received the following award from Burned Out Waitress at "Confessions of Me."


Fucking flowers.

I was supposed to do some 'seven things about me' crap, but since Homey don't play that way AND the award was - once again - accompanied by no money, I will simply defer you to when I did this way back here.

All kidding aside, thanks, Burned Out!

Secondly, here's where I'll be this Sunday:

That's right, bitches.

I'll be in my first ever karate tournament.

Here's to hoping this works out better than my usual karate classes.

These fucking insurance copays are KILLING me.

Regardless, I'm going with my 6 year old son who will be in his second tournament.

Let's hope he does as well as his first one.

..and I get to kick someone's ass and come home with a trophy or three.

That's right:

Five feet of fury, baby.

Five feet of fury.

Moog out.


JenJen said...

I didn't know you liked flowers! How very, nonmanly of you.

5 feet of flowery smoochie smooch...


clearing my throat

i really thought you were joking about the karate tournament

but clearly you are not

so good luck to you and your five feet of something

Anonymous said...

Honestly though, if I was having a dry spell, I'd give her a push or 2...

MJenks said...

You know, barbarians were named so because they wore beards.

Looking at the she-man on the swing in that picture, I totally agree that it's barbaric.

Deech said...


Thanks for the site on how to build motivationals...Looks like I will be joining you on this site as well

Congrats on the award...hope you are not allergic to flowers...

Jay Ferris said...

Good luck on Sunday; I hope you get to split kick someone in the face, JCVD-style!

Ed said...

That shadowguy on the left of the Karate poster has a huge Johnson.


*manly whistle*

Also, when I read this, I had to reread the last two lines cause I thought they said Furry, not Fury.

Unknown said...

Too bad you didn't like your flowers! Congrats on the award anyway...

I've been seeing you everywhere and now I'm about to officially become a follower.

Thanks for the laughs!

Chris said...

One can only imagine the field of martial arts that Moooog would specialize in . . .

Tae Kwon Dwarf
Kung Poo
Ju Shitsu

Anyway, have fun, and go for the 'nads.

Tami G said...

.......and here I am - straight from Travis' blog! (plus I'm following, some might call it stalking, Erin....shhhh - don't tell her...)

Nice blog! You crack my ass up!

Tami G
ur newest fan/follower/stalker! :)

Moooooog35 said...

Blanket comment:

Thanks for the well wishes on the tournament. I shall defeat the Cobra Kai and once again bring honor to Mr. Miyagi!

I hope I'm going to the right thing.

Kellie said...

Kick some ass seabass! Hope you win this weekend!

Also, I have never heard of the slide of small penises but I hooked up with a guy once who must have been down that slide way too often.

Mike said...

If you fight a man who's 6 feet tall, do they give you platform shoes to even things up?

Or do they just make him fight on his knees.

And is that why you karate?

Whatever the case, go kick some ass, or someones face in, or something.

Lee said...

Don't let those pre-schoolers beat you up! You show them whose boss!

Donnie said...

Go kick some serious ass for all of us freedom loving, God fearing Americans. In fact, take a "heater" Rod and just shoot the bastards. Who said martial arts had to be fair? After all, winning is everything!

Moooooog35 said...


I don't normally respond to comments on my motivational posters (CAN'T YOU GIVE ME ONE DAY, PEOPLE?!) I was given shit by one of my friends, so here goes:

JenJen: Thank you for the five feet of smoochie smooches. Now stand back as my wife gives me five feet of 'wtf was up with that comment?!'

Thanks a lot.

Speaking: Fury. FIVE FEET OF FURY.

Jesus, people. It's a religion for chrissakes.

justjp: Dry spell? I'd be all over that on a typical Tuesday.

Travis: Like you don't want to get the jump on me, anyway. Homoerotic? Yes.

Mjenks: You are just a fountain of stuff I couldn't care less about! Thank you!

Vodka: You mean...LITERALLY...?

Joshua: It's not that kind of tournament.


Joker: Enjoy..that + flickr = hours of family fun.

Jay: I'm even considering getting one of those weird 'is it a tumor?' bumps on my forehead just like him.

Ed: I WAS 'five feet of furry' up until my vasectomy. Now..smooooooooth.

I'll send you pictures. Again.

Erin: I didn't say I didn't LIKE them. It's just that I'd like some, you know, money or porn or something.

Welcome to the club!

Knucklehead: Dude. Your comments never fail to make me laugh.

Except this one time.

Tae Kwon Dwarf = awesomeness.

TamiG: I cracked your ass up? I had no idea I was a proctologist! You're welcome!

Moooooog35: You look hot.

Kellie: We went out?

Mike: Sadly, no shoes. That would be AWESOME, though.

I'd be able to kick them from, like, 6 feet away.

Lee: I guess there's a first for everything.

Don: I like the 'poke them in the eyes and run' tactic. We'll see how that plays out.

Funnyrunner: I shall do this for you!

And, for my self esteem. It's really really low.

Matty said...

I've heard of you but hadn't been around until now. Things look funny and quite interesting here, to say the least. I jumped on board to see what all the rage is about.

Good luck in the tourney, and protect that pinky.

adrienzgirl said...

So you are Ralph Macchio? That explains a lot. Including why you like flowers.


Just sayin'.

Me-Me King said...

Please give me fair warning the next time you use my photo for one of your silly posters.

Kick some ass!!! said...

OMG... I pity the other kids at the karate tournament. They won't know what hit them.

Brutalism said...

a) Where'd you get a picture of my mom?

b) Blade fighting? I am hoping that is not one of the events in which you're participating, filet-o-Moooooog.

Tracie said...

Kick ass, Mooooog, san.

Malicious Intent said...

Five feet of fury and two feet of cast only leaves you with 3 feet of fury and still only 3 inches of penis. Damn.

meleah rebeccah said...

Swing Of Unattractiveness is KILLING ME@

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