I'm Here to Help - You SURE You don't want to be a lesbian? | Mental Poo

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I'm Here to Help - You SURE You don't want to be a lesbian?

Before I start today, just a reminder that you have until the end of this week to enter a comment on this post for a chance to win a free subscription to People Magazine, Entertainment Weekly or Sports Illustrated!

Carry on.


As part of my 'Here to Help' initiative, I do - from time to time - help out some of my readers who request my assistance in life-or-death matters.

This is not one of those.

I got an email from one of my regular readers who is apparently a fan of my spam email replies.

She received a wonderful spam email and wanted me to reply to it for her.


Here is the spam she received:

..and, of course..

My custom reply for her:

Not sure what happened but I'm thinking of trying to hunt down the woman in that picture.

The whole taint-tickling thing really is intriguing.

Moog out.


Lady Estrogen said...

Oooohh... the taint tickling is truly the selling point. I'm sold... three times over!

Can I get that in bulk?

Just asking.

Ryan said...

Is that a picture of Winona Ryder with a goatee?

Christina_the_wench said...

But look how shiny his/her hair is! And the bangs are kick-ass.

Luda said...


If Sandy replies, you must post it.

I have a feeling she's going to take you up on the offer, though. And that's going to get awkward.

jack mehoff said...

taint ticklin transexuals

i'll take three

Knight said...

I would totally date Keira Knightly in a beard. I think Sandy should go for it!

I hope you find your man moog.

Eva Gallant said...

How could she possibly resist???

PISSED said...

You Sir.. are one funny bahstad..

Moooooog35 said...

Lady: I will do my best. Let me just make sure my passport is current...

Ryan: Hm. Maybe she stole it.

Christina: I KNOW.

Luda: They usually don't reply..I'm not quite sure why not.

Jack: Would you like a shot of penicillin with that?

Knight: Now I'm picturing you dating Kiera Knightly with a beard.

Kinda hot, actually.

Eva: I know..and, yet, somehow she did.

Pissed: *blushes*

jack mehoff said...

somethin tells me the shot of penis-illan is included in the deal....like a drive thru special

how about kiera with facial, armpit and chest hair?


she's still a cutey

Anonymous said...

Oh my fucking god. You just made my day. I think I would like you to write custom responses to the dumb ass, grammatically incorrect, emails that are filled with the wrong information that I get from the administrators at my school. I would probably get fired. It would be worth it.

Fresh Out of Gold Stars

Vinny C said...

I'm sure she'll write back. Who could resist that hair?

Sarah P said...

I heard the best story today, and something about your creepiness triggered me to tell you. OK. Here goes.

A clown and a little boy are walking into a dense, dark forest. The little boy says to the clown, "I'm really scared." And the clown says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of here alone."

Tazer said...

Nothing is better than a tranny hooker.

PBJdreamer said...



run for your life

that is all

OGLADI said...

Frightened. Mortified. How come there are no earrings?

meleah rebeccah said...

I seriously cannot stop laughing!!

Katherine said...

I don't know HOW your posts get through my wotk but this had me DYING at my desk! You have a new career in this...you know that, right?

Shawn O'hara said...

Wait a second! Sandy is emailing other people too? That's it. I am cancelling the check I sent to her.

The Empress said...

Oh, god..

You have TOO much time at work.

VERY VERY funny.

WHy don't you do something with all this talent?



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