One legged baby races and a pretty odd conversation to begin with | Mental Poo

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

One legged baby races and a pretty odd conversation to begin with

In my first entry of "The Girlfriend Chronicles" series, I posted a few of my IM conversations with my girlfriend which only made her question why, exactly, she's with me at all.

But then I make my pecs dance while simultaneously juggling and singing the Alphabet Song and all her doubts magically disappear.

Today, though, I'm going to recreate a scene that happened during our trip to Target.

Living the dream, people. Living the dream.

To make this flow better, I crafted the conversation like an IM chat. It's prettier that way, trust me on this.

On the way into the parking lot, we noticed that the mall was advertising this:

..and then it started...

*I make a circle motion with my right hand while left hand runs straight past the hand just rotating in circles, obviously taking over the lead


The prospect of entering my child into a one-legged baby race along diaper-saddled elderly people makes me want to reverse my vasectomy if nothing else but for the blog material and quite possibly the best home movie EVER.

I wonder how many other men have made that very same decision.

Probably just me.


Anonymous said...

I can just see babies being raced like dogs. And then there's the "different" one just going in circles.

Unknown said...

It is official! You have an infant with one leg and we will create the infant vs geriatrics you tube video! (research battles of history)

Then we can eat the loser!

Knight said...

I'm betting the odds of you having a one legged baby are really good.

Travis said...

The trick to winning a diaper derby is to slip your baby a tiny bit of cocaine before the race. They don't test for that. It's a proven fact.

Anonymous said...

I am personally more a fan of baby skydiving myself!

Unknown said...

I don't know who's crazier; you, Kerri, or your readers!

meleah rebeccah said...

I fucking LOVE, Kerri. SO VERY MUCH.

Simone said...

oh, kerri is a lucky gal. and you're a lucky guy. you are the stuff couples are made of.

Anonymous said...

My ex-boyfriend used to talk about stuff like this. He said that should the child die in the process, you would be able to use him for baby back ribs. He scared me.

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